Venting about work

I am so pi**ed of right now. My job knew right from the beginning that I am pregnant. I asked if taking time off for doctor appts would be a big deal and they said no that I could make up the time during the same work week. Well today I got called into the supervisors office and was told that I was being given a verbal warning!!!!  Due to leaving early for ob-gyn appts. Good Lord I can do nothing right to please this company. I said that I make up my time and always have 40 hour work weeks and they said regardless co. policy tracks everytime you leave early and since May I have left early 3 times.
There is nothing I can do im my defense and I took my punishment like a good girl. I now have to make it the next 8 weeks with no appts or else I get written up.   I am like jerks I have a level 2 u/s on Aug 24th and I need to leave an hour early. I told them to write me up that I have no choice in this appt as the tech is there only until 4:00 and only there on Thursdays.

Ok thanks for letting me vent!!!!  Sorry so long. :(

[JJety]

What did they say when you told them you had discussed it previously and you were told it was not a problem?  What was their excuse?

[siren of the sea]

hey harley i dont think it is legal to stop you from seeing your ob for pg. maybe remind them (make sure what the laws are).if you fire someone for this hmmmmmm can you say lawsuit? im not one to promote sueing but you have the right to see your dr for your visits. id explain this to your ob and make sure you get a dr excuse from them just to cover all your bases. i am pissed at this as well! id get a great repore going with your ob and then see if he will approve early maternity leave. STICK IT TO THE MAN!! i guess im kinda grouchy today lol

[low22]

Can you not use sick time for your doctor visits??  That sucks!!  Man, I work at a small private firm and can come and go as I please so sometimes I forget what the rest of the world has to deal with when it comes to vacation/sick time and strict corporate guidlines.  I hope you don't get written up for going to the Aug visit but definitely say screw it and go!

[Harley-girl]

That they understood what was said before but they have to begin enforcing company policy as they have been too lax. My good friend was actually written up as she has had infertility trtmt appts and those were orig ok'd but now they are pulling the same sh*t with her.  I am so frustrated and they better not give me grief for my maternity leave this winter. I will quit and go back to work through a temp agency if I have to.

[melswigart23]

You must work for the same company I do! We can only be absent 3 times a year, and leaving early or coming late is considered "an occurance". I know exactly how you feel, I had a high risk pregnancy with my son and had to take FMLA extended leave 4 months early or risk being fired. I am a nurse in the NICU and my friend was pregnant in November and was 8 months pregnant she slipped coming into work and had to be observed in L&D and they counted that as an unexcused absence! I mean give me a break.

[want_to_be_a_father]

Call in sick or take a vacation day. You can also talk to your HR department about FMLA leave if they puch you around.

[Aloha_Baby]

oooh girl! i would have been heated! i would have been like "listen! you hate when people are late. when your on time your late. when you go to the docs you need ot be AT LEAST 15 min early! That means you need to be out of there an hour early just ot get their 15 min early. you need to check in sign papers and asnwer questions before you even get to see the doc!!!" lol! i just got seriously mad

[JJety]

And you probably don't have much paid vacation time that you can use for these appointments, do you?  And I don't suppose your doctor has Saturday appointments...?

Get the maternity leave thing in writing if you can!

[jifnif]

I am in the same situation!!!  Although I think my place is trying to get me to quit or on the verge of firing me.  Same thing...they knew I was pregnant and needed time off for appts.  I work for the hospital drs!!!!  I am right across the street from ob-gyn!!!!  I work 50hr weeks!!!  That xtra 10hrs is optional and all overtime and I have been called in 3x!!!  I have 5 weeks left.  I suck it up.  I am looking for another job because I believe it is personal.  But honestly...do you know how hard it is to look for a job when you are prego and there after!!  Not to mention I have been here 9 years and it will be hard to find a job that I will make the same, but its not worth my sanity.  Well, i just wanted to tell you I feel your pain..sorry I bitched too!!  I dont have any solutions...i am just in the same boat as you.  hang in there!!!

[Harley-girl]

You can use your sick time but they are still counting it as missing work same as if I call in it is an occurance and they count it against you as well.  I did take a week vac and that was fine but doctor appts and illness seem to be a major no-no. Ugh I could scream!!!!

[Mertek]

Do you have an employee handbook that you can look through for guidelines in regards to vacation time, or PTO? What a crock. I don't know how companies think they can tie people up like this, with no time off. This is a medical issue. You aren't skipping out early to go to the pub for a beer.

Anyone in the HR area that feel comfortable talking to?

[Harley-girl]

I have not been at this company for 12 months so I do not have the ability to use FMLA!!!!

I also work for a hospital, you would think they would be understanding!!!

[Harley-girl]

HR is pro-mgmt and could care less about us little people so no there is no one I feel comf talking to.

What if you have disability would that cover my a** for MD appts???

[JJety]

Like STD and LTD coverage?  No, that is only for when you actually give birth and you have a doctor's note (the standard 6-week leave) that you qualify for disability.

But maybe see about getting a note from your doctor to attend appointments.  Maybe that is the only route to go.  Call up the nurse; I bet you anything they've seen this problem before.

[Berko]

what are they? your principal's office? my goodness - why don't you ask them if they'd like to go to your dr.'s appointments for you - then maybe you'll be able to work yourself to the bone for them. your putting in the hours - what's their problem?!!? what are you supposed to do - not go see your dr. and take care of your baby?!!? i think they need a little workshop in employee management and care and how about one teaching them that sometimes things are out of the box and not exactly the way it's written in their manual. you need to go the dr. and that's that - tell them to take it up with their nearest lawyer if they have a problem - and you'll take it up with yours!!

[JJety]

Berko gave me an idea too - can you go above your bosses head and talk to the upper-upper management?  Take your boss out at the knees.

[Harley-girl]

:) You gals are wonderful. I knew I would feel better once you all responded to my venting. My main concern is not this damn hospital job but my baby. Like I said when it comes to materity leave and I hope to take 8 weeks (wishful thinking) as my short term dis covers up to 26 weeks and they give me sh*t I will quit. I need to bond with the baby not worry about this nutjob place of employment.

[Berko]

that's right!! and remember we're here to back you up if necessary. let your bosses come on here and see what we think about them and their "policies"!! whoa, i think my af is really getting to me.

[luv_babies]

WTF?! That's Bull****!! I don't know what to tell ya hun! That really makes me mad! Did you ask them wtf you are supposed to do then? Sorry but it's not easy to make dr appts at 5:30. Those are the ones that are taken first! That's ****! Tell Jeff to get a raise and you'll stay home and cook your little bun! :) Seriously, I would ask what kind of solution you can work out, you still have 5 months to go and the dr appts only come closer and closer together. Love & hugs, Kari

[mami1323]

HR should not be pro-management.  They have to look out for both employee well being and management.  I would make it clear to them that by bringing up your pregnancy will force you to speak with an attorney about harrassment.  They can definitely get into trouble for this.  Read up on your legal rights during pregnancy.  It can't hurt to have the ball in your court.

[Mertek]

Harley's post made me remember a terrible credit card company a friend of mine worked at about 10 years ago when her son was a baby. They were horrid to her if she had to leave to take her son to the doctor for an ear infection, or if daycare called because he was sick.

There are so many companies that don't see their employees as people with lives. It's too bad, especially in this case since its a hospital.

I hope they bend a little for you. The idea of getting a note seems to be a pretty good one...that way they can shove that in your file on top of your written warning.

[Harley-girl]

I have had a note from the doctor for every visit that even indicated that my appt time was the only avail time and I did not have a choice of which time I came in.   I hate this damn place.   Thanks for all who have responded.

[Jenny77]

Ladies, I hear you. I'm sick of this Nazi-like employer **** too. I love my country but I really think the U.S is a crappy place for working women who are pregnant or have children.
  My last job, when I had my m/c, I took off the day after I had my m/c and the day I had the D&C, and my boss was all over me. They actually told me they thought I was abusing my sick time. Can you believe that? We were moving a month after that, but it was all I could do from literally screaming at that crazy b**** for that last month.
  My current job is a lot better, my supervisor is very understanding of families etc, so that helps a lot with my current pregnancy. I'm lucky I can fit my ob visits into my lunch hour and my supervisor was very understanding of me taking like 2 days total for being too sick during the morning sickness. BUT, I talked to him a month ago about taking time off after the baby is born, he was real supportive of me taking more than the 6 weeks and said that other women in my department have taken 12 weeks and even come back part time and worked back up to full time. That was what I was hoping for. Then yesterday, he called me in and said that HR in my workplace is cracking down and they don't allow anyone to take more than the 6 weeks for FMLA unless a Dr has stated there is some critial medical emergency to keep you at home longer. That sucks. I really wanted more than 6 weeks with my baby. I'm seriously thinking of quitting after the baby is born now, then trying to find another job in about a year. Oh well.

[ima1]

If I were you, I would try to contact a govt agency, in ny we have 311, and you cann call and ask them any question of this type.  It sounds illegal to me. Also, you might try contacting your ins. co., assuming it is provided through your employer.  Ill bet they have all kinds of guidelines for pre-natals, to avoid higher costs if a problem is not found early.  They might be able to help you too.  Good luck hon, and dont let the b@$tards get you down:):)

[jackiemoo]

Hi Harley,

I am an HR manager at a huge corporation in california and in my state what they are doing to you is illigal and you can take action if desired. If I were you, I would ask to have a copy of the company handbook and have them show you where it is against the rules to have doctors appointments. You must allow time off for jury duty, medical emergencies, family emergencies, berevment, and preventative care, (this is were you come in). Contact the labor board and ask them about this.

I know that your job is very important and I am sure that you don't want to rock the boat, but please know that there are organizations out there to help you.

I am behind you and if you have any question, please seek me out and I will do my best to help you!

Good luck!

[Wanting]

Kelly that sucks about your job!  I wish you didn't have to go thru this now!  IS there a way that you and Jeff could figure out whether or not you need to work?  Like Kari said.  

I know I don't want to work after I have my babies.  I will take my mat leave after the first and then that is it. I will be retired!  Up here in Canada we get a whole year off for maternity leave!  i can't believe that you guys only get 6-8 weeks! That doesn't seem right!  

Love, *A

[Harley-girl]

Thanks everyone. I will keep you posted on these damn devils. :)

[Harley-girl]

Heck I need to move to Canada. There is no way for me not too work right now. Too many bills. I do think that I will eventually quit this co and try and find work closer to home. I already decided that I would start to look while out on maternity leave collecting disability. I am not collecting disability from this co it is something Jeff and I are paying for out of pocket since I have not been with this co long enough for their disability/FMLA.  
Maybe I will win the Lotto and can tell these people where they can stick their damn rules.

[luv_babies]

Do you have AFLAC?

[Harley-girl]

No, I called them but they only offer disabilty coverage through a work place there are no individ policies. We went through a small local firm. I am paying $3.50 a week to get it, not too shabby.    Your work should hire me. :)

[Wanting]

I have been checking ct for the past few days and wondering where everyone is!!!!  I have at least found you two!  How are you preggos doing?  (other than the work crisis Kelly!).  Do you know how Erica is?  I haven't heard from her in a while!!

[luv_babies]

HA! Actually one of the guys in QC drove here from IL (don't know where) AFLAC is good but it doesn't cover maternity leave until after a year of having the policy, so I will be a month away from getting AFLAC. But work should pay 80% for 6 weeks. I will have a fit if they don't. In the manual it says they pay 80% after two years, I am due 3/3, my two year ann. is 3/14. We'll see.

[Harley-girl]

I am doing great except for the backaches, headaches and heartburn. :) 16w2d and really starting to show. I had the quad screening done on Monday and am now nervously awaiting the results. How are you?????

[Harley-girl]

I am jealous, I wish I could get 80% for 6 weeks. :)Luckily Jeff gets a vacation check every Dec and it is usually a few thousand, I will live off of that. :)

[luv_babies]

Hey I am doing pretty good, just more tired than I ever imagined! I don't do anything! Which sucks because I should be packing! I think backaches started today too. Have had one for about an hour. How R U? What cd are you on, like 28?

[Wanting]

I am doing good. I want to see your belly shots but you don't post photos!!!!  YOu need to get Jeff to help you!  

I am on cd 26 and this time around i actually feel like I might have a good shot on getting a BFP.  I feel different.  But you kow how the body plays those stupid tricks on you and makes you feel like you could be preggo and then you aren't.  Well, I felt like I was going to get af on cd23.  I got it on cd25 last month.  it will usually come in between 25 and 29.  She didn't come and hasn't yet.  I don't feel like she will.  I have been feeling a bit queezy the last couple days but it's not like I get it right away in the morning.  It probably isn't anything but again, my body and head make me think and wonder.  

So now I just have to wait a couple more days to find out.  If I am I will be put into a couple tough situations two days in a row this weekend.  I have a big BBQ with DH's family friends who are all drinkers and expect you to have one in your hand at all times. Then the next day before i have a wedding that I have to be at and all the people that I am going with know I drink and it will give it away if i don't have anything.  What should I do??

*Amanda

[Harley-girl]

I ran into that same stuation as you with a party and I opted to drink. Sure enough I was preggers but it had not shown up on a HPT so I thought I was safe. Told my ob at the first visit and she laughed said it is very common and no harm would come to the baby from that limited exposure to alcohol. So if I were I would have a few.  Once I got that positive HPT I never drank again. I sure do miss my beer though.

[Wanting]

Ya that is what I was thinking.  I would be 1 nad 2 days past my expected af so I will know for sure whether I am preggers or not.  I guess one drink at each event wouldn't hurt the baby too much.  I will play it by ear!  If I am preggers then DH can get me out of the dirnks at the BBQ but I am on my own at the wedding!

I actually look forward to not having to drink anything when I am pregnant!  Then i can look forward to it all again when I have the baby!  We'll see!

i will keep you posted in the next 2 days!

[Harley-girl]

I cannot wait to see you post about your BFP.... How long have you been ttc???

[Wanting]

Thanks! we have been ttc for 10 months.  Long enough in our minds!
Gotta run girl! leaving the office for the rest of the afternoon!  I will have to catch up more tonight or tomorrow!  

Take care!

love *A

[dandeelyon]

FMLA is a federal policy in the USA.  As long as the employer has over 50 (I'm pretty sure it's 50) and you've been with the company for 12 months, then they have to give you 12 weeks for FMLA.  If they do not, they are in violation of federal law.  You can sue them and they will be fined if you choose to pursue.  They do not have to pay you for those 12 weeks.  That's where the short term disability comes in.  Standard short term for maternity leave is 6 weeks for vaginal and 8 weeks for c-section.  That is used in combination with FMLA.  

I can tell you that I would sue the heck out of a company that tried to pull the no or reduced FMLA **** on me.

Good luck to all of you with employer issues.

[Harley-girl]

I have not been with this co 12 months so I cannot pursue FMLA.

[Jenny77]

I have been all through this with my company. Actually the FMLA laws state "up to 12 weeks", so that is how many companies can legally get away with only 6 weeks for vaginal and 8 weeks for c-section. I have found out that is completley legal in the US, there's not much you can really do, you'd lose the case if you went to any court unless you had a serious problem occuring from the delivery that demands you stay off work longer. I think its horrible and should be illegal though, its actually very deceptive.
  There is something in FMLA about using part of the FMLA time before delivery for appointments etc, but I'm sure they have some loophole there too.
  I think I am still going to keep talking to my supervisor and see if he can help me take a few more weeks off. Seriously, its unpaid time and I'll have to pay for my insurance premiums out of my own pocket, so its not like I'm taking advantage of the employer during this time. Its so ridiculous.
  SOme other ideas are to call:

The Department of Labor: I have called them and they were very helpful on explaining different laws to me and are very up to date on the laws. And its free to call...unlike a lawyer.  Its worth it to find out what your rights are.

[jgirl34]

If you have a Dr's note it has to be excused. Atleast here in Ohio. I've already been through that. Make sure to contact the legal dept on your side as well. They can't tell you that you can't go to the Dr's. Especially when you're making your time up! Get a Dr's note everytime. And if they do fire you well you can get unemployment if you've been there long enough and a nice law suit! :) Sorry you're going through this, I've been there! Good luck.

[BABYGIRL2006]

i know if you do nursing i dont think they like babys they are stict on that issue if you are they will find every way to  get rid of you

[sam2]

Hey you don't live in NY do you?  I could hire you!  I need a staff accountant badly.  Are you an hourly employee or a salaried employee.  If you are salaried they cannot do this as it is treating you like an hourly employee.  There is a big difference.

[sam2]

Hey you don't live in NY do you?  I could hire you!  I need a staff accountant badly.  Are you an hourly employee or a salaried employee.  If you are salaried they cannot do this as it is treating you like an hourly employee.  There is a big difference.

[sam2]

Hey you don't live in NY do you?  I could hire you!  I need a staff accountant badly.  Are you an hourly employee or a salaried employee.  If you are salaried they cannot do this as it is treating you like an hourly employee.  There is a big difference.

[sam2]

sorry about that triple posting, I swear I only hit the mouse once!