prom, early delivery

I was pregnant and started to have some bleeding at about 9 weeks, the blood was old looking and at the ultrasound everything looked good.  At 28 weeks I was going to the bathroom, I stood up and felt a trickle go down my leg, it seemed out of the ordinary.  I called my OB who told me to go the OB/GYN triage at the hospital.  They did a vaginal exam for a fern test and said it was negative.  I went to see my Midwife a few days later.  Told her the news, she said since the test was negative it was urine.  I told her that I was now having to wear pantiliners because it was still going on.  She was unconcerned about the matter.  Said it was because of the pressure on my bladder from my growing uterus.  At 31 weeks I went back in to see my midwife because I was sick of the leaking, only to be told that the whole time I had been leaking amniotic fluid!  I was devastated.  I rushed to the hospital and had my son the next a.m.  Found out after the fact that it was probably a high leak.  This has put me into a deep depression.  I blame myself.  Why didn't I ask them to double check, do another test.  How could I think it was urine for two weeks. How do I deal with this now?  I feel that I put my child's life at risk, that I failed him.
Any advice would be appreciated.  Thank You

[peekawho]

You did not fail your son.  The medical tests are not perfect.   You didn't say if they did more testing than just the fern test.  

We do a fern test, nitrazine test, a visual inspection of the vagina to see if there is active leaking, and an ultrasound any time we have a pretermer who is complaining of leaking.  And if all of those are negative, we still tell the woman to come back right away if the leakage is still happening,

It sounds to me from what little you said, is that they failed to take you seriously and advise you properly to come right back if the leakage kept going.  

I hope he does well.  

[waitingwithhope]

You did all you could based on what information you had from medical professionals. Don't blame yourself.

[Me2mommy2b]

You didn't fail your son and you're a great mother.  You simply trusted the medical professionals thinking they know what they're doing (as we all would in your situation as well).  I wish you all the best and I hope your son does well.  Keep us posted.

[nermineagain]

how is the baby doing?

[rosebedford]

Thank you for your comments.  It is difficult not to blame myself, but your comments are helping:)  My son is doing o.k., its a day to day rollercoaster, but right now he's stable.  Everytime I look at him though I wonder how different his life would be if he could be full-term:(  I wonder if his prematurity will affect him for the rest of his life.
Rose

[Me2mommy2b]

The only thing you can do is wait.  When looking at milestones, you'll have to adjust his age (for example, if it says holding the head at 2 months, it may not happen with him until he's 4 months or so).  Good luck and all the best.