second hand smoke and my baby

I've just found out that my mother-in-law is smoking again.  She is planning on moving closer and I was planning on having her be a major part of my baby's life.  I am very concerned about having her around him after she's been smoking.  She insists she won't smoke in front of him, but I believe it's still detrimental to his health to have a smoker babysit.  Anyone know the SPECIFIC details of smoke lingering on skin, clothes etc. for a smoker?  How bad is it for my newborn?

[kimmie_n_angus]

well i can say as a smoker myself....i quit while i was pregnant and during the first few months he was born. i made the biggest mistake taking it up again.

my son had more colds than normal when we started smoking in the house and his little clothes reaked of smoke....my parents used to take him and would constantly complain how they had to wash all his clothes when he came over.

smoking outside ALL the time was the only way to keep it off his home and clothing...and then washing my hands after....it becomes a pain for the smoker but it is the only way to ensure no 2nd hand smoke gets on the baby.

if she is planning on only going outside when the baby is there than it wont help....i forget that my house stinks to a nonsmoker, and i am sure she doesnt realize it either.

i would say that if she wants to come to your house and be with the baby then you wouldnt have to worry, but if the baby goes there, even if she doesnt smoke in the house while the baby is their the clothes will smell like stale smoke.

my hubby and i have chosen to quit for good this time....we r sick of the smell and it is bad for us all.....hope this helps....good luck.....kimmie.

[cinnamonheart]

Like Kimmie said, If she sees your baby at your house and agrees to smoke outdoors, I dont see why she cant be a big part of your babies life.
I DO NOT smoke or encourage it, but I know several women who smoked throughout their pregnancies, still do and their children are fine(just for your peace of mind)

I would imagine the child would have to be present where the smoke is, not off their clothes, it would just be the smell,something like some one who drank alcohol you can smell it on them but you dont get the effects yourself.

[Lynn8889]

I work in a large pediatric practice owned by a high ranking pediatric hospital - all I can say is just make sure you voice your concerns if your mother in law intends to babysit your baby (sounds like you may have done so).  This is a large problem that we see.....moms/dads keep bringing their childs in repetitively with colds, wheezing, trouble breathing....one of the first thing is our drs. ask "Do you or anyone smoke and do you do so around the child".  Suprisingly enough, the vast majority answer yes.......but what irritates the drs. is that we keep seeing these kids and the parents habits still have not changed.  The drs. have yelled at these moms/dads and just short of called them idiots for doing this around the kids.  Can't blame the doctors......it's pretty difficult admitting little ones to the hospital for asthma like symtoms (symptoms), especially given that the doctors have constantly told the parents not to smoke in the house.  If your going to do it.....go outside.  As far as smoke being on the clothing.....really no harm - but think about it.......some adults get sickened by the smell.....imagine a little one having to smell it.

[waterskigirl]

It makes me sick when I drive by someone in a closed car smoking with an infant, I just want to smack those idiots!

[jluhart]

You also need to keep in my mind that secondhand smoke is unfiltered.  At least the smoker is smoking it through the filtered end.  While the nonsmoker gets the full brunt.  Smoke affects lungs, eyes, sinuses, etc.

[IWantToBeAMom]

This is to everyone....
Is "second-hand smoke" just what comes floating off the end of a lighted cigarette, or does the aroma of smoke off of clothing/breath/furniture count too?

[married_newfie_mommy]

My husband smokes, I have given it up..gave it up actually 3 years ago when I found out that I was pregnant with our son. Now that said, I asked our public health nurse almost the exact same question. Is it bad for the baby's health to have a smoker around the baby? Well, she told me that as long as he isn't smoking around the baby and going outside that it should be fine. My husband never smoked around me when I was pregnant and our son is 2&1/2 and he has never smoked around him and never will. As long as your mother in law is not smoking in the house and goes outside, I don't think there should be an risk to your baby's health. But as the others have said...smoking stinks!!! and the smell will be there..make sure you let your mother in law know your decision and BE FIRM!!! Hope this helps

[IWantToBeAMom]

My best friend's father-in-law is a smoker, and her baby will not let the grandpa hold him.  The grandpa can't get within smelling distance of him without him crying.  My friend believes that her son is annoyed by the smoke smell coming from grandpa's breath and clothes and he doesn't like grandpa to be near him.  My point is that you may not have to do or say anything, your baby may reject being near your mother-in-law.

I do not know about the lingering effects of smoke on clothing and such, but I don't think it would be harmful.  However, it might be somewhat harmful to have the baby in her house where she smokes or in her car where she smokes because those things cannot be run through the washing machine like our clothes can.  

Don't be afraid to let your opinion be known but at the same time don't stress too much about what MIGHT happen (meaning how much your MIL might be around).  It might not be as often as you think, and you can always use the reason that I do....."I'm just not ready to be away from him yet".  Works like a charm because nobody can argue with that!

[blondie72]

I do not think the aroma is a danger but I am not sure.  I lived with 2 parents who smoked then my 2 sisters both smoked as teenagers (they are both younger than me) so I had to live with 4 smokers.  It was horrible.  I would sit around with a turtle neck over my face so I could breathe.  I used to HATE going to work in a jewelry store reeking of a cigarette.  I do not know how I did not smoke with all those smokers around me but I NEVER started.  I can't stand being around smokers even if we are outside.  I very rarely ever visit my dad (who my son is named after) because he smokes and my sister smokes with her 2 kids in the house (she lives w/my dad).  My 15 month old neice just had tubes in her ears because of constant ear infections due to the secondhand smoke.  It sickens me that my sister continues to smoke even after all that.  She said in the hospital she cried when they wheeled my niece away.  I felt like saying to her O well you were the idiot who caused this to happen so you only have yourself to blame.  I can't have my children around smoke and I let my daughter know just how bad it is any chance I get.  Before we decided to build a house we were house hunting and looked at one that was so nice on the outside and as soon as the realtor opened the door the smoke smell hit us and we almost did NOT even walk into that home.  It is nasty.  Like everyone else has said it is best to just quit but if you must continue the disgusting habit do so outdoors away from the house because the smoke can still come into the windows.  There are 3 things I am TOTALLY AGAINST and they are Abortion, Teen pregnancy, and Smoking.  Please tell your MIL not to smoke around your baby.  Get pamphlets if you have to.  Good Luck to you.

[Wisegirl]

No one is allowed around my baby smoking. I am a former smoker and I would never smoke around my baby or anyone elses. When I smoked I went outside. Even if the baby's mother was a smoker and smoked in front of the baby I went outside. When I came in I washed my hands before touching the baby.

[penny13]

The whole smoking thing was something that bugged me about my motherinlaw, i am  previous smoker. It's not that that buggs me but she used to walk around  holding our niece while smoking. I had said to my husband that if it had been our child i would of  asked her not to do that. I would also have asked her to smoke outside.
I have nothing against smokers, just do it outside.

[cinnamonheart]

I would classify second hand smoke as smoke floating around while people are smoking whether your when your in the same room

For example say someone comes to your house after having smoked a cigarette in their car you can smell it on them but Im sure it doesnt do harm to you! It may stink but if you were in the car then thats a different story

[Butterfly_Baybee2005]

Hello,
My name is Holly. I am 20 years old. I am planning on going off the pill (i have been on it for 3 years now) in November. I hope to get pregnant right away so I can give the news to my in-laws and my parents as an xmas gift. Do people usually have problems conceiving the first few months they go off the pill? How does it work? I also want to lose weight before I have a baby. As it is I am not comfortable in my skin. If anyone has suggestions or would like to chat, please email me at butterfly_baybee2005***@**** I will respond to everyone!
Also, will you only conceive on certain days of the month? I can use as much information as I can

[grandma for the first time]

I am a grandma for the first time, my son is a smoker who is also the father his fiance is a non smoker.  I would never do anything to endanger my granddaughter.  I have been a smoker for years as well as much as my family.  

Though you may stink from smoking it is not a reason to cause a rift with your mother in law and personally offend her by restricting her from loving her grandchild.  Oh you cannot go to grannys because she stinks.  Come on lets be real, we all wish we could kick the nasty habit but it sounds to me the problem is with you not liking the smoke more so than it is harmful to your child.  I have spoke to several doctors about this and there is no direct link to the second hand smoke claim, it is no more harmful to the baby than caking yourself in perfume.   One smell is just more plesent than the other.   Give her a break she dont want your kid to be sick or to cause it harm she simply wants to spend time with it.   If you were the smoker the view would be different, get off your high horse great you do not smoke but those who struggle with the horrid habit still love their grand babies.  My sons fiance is trying the same thing but I still go and pick up my grandbaby to love and cuddle after washing my hands.   What she going to do anyway its my sons child too and he smokes.  None of us are dumb enough to sit and smoke up in the house or car where the baby is.

[daprincess21]

I was at a gas station today and seen a girl that was at least6-7 months pg. she was walking out and got in her car and in a matter of seconds had lit up! she had another little on in the car too and her windows were rolled up!!! i myself yes i am a smoker...didnt smoke while pg and only started after i went beck to work. i DONT  smoke in the car nor in the house...i never have! i just think its terrible to subject children to this!
i believe that i smoke bc my mother did around me all the time. i am a "closet" smoker and most people dont even know i smoke. yes its wrong. my children will prolly smoke also unless i do somthing about it. (which i am trying as we speak) i cant imagine daying at a young age and not seeing my kids/grandkids grow up.
this post is not to condem any smokers...i was just so upset when i seen that girl today!

[elizajean]

Something to think about -  
Some of the substances found in secondhand smoke that are known or suspected to cause cancer include:
 Formaldehyde
 Arsenic
 Cadmium
 Benzene
 Ethylene oxide
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/secondhand-smoke/CC00023

Do you really want someone with this on their hands and clothes holding your baby? It IS NOT JUST ABOUT THE ODOR.
Have you ever tried cleaning the house of a smoker? Even the cabinets are covered in yellow - which isn't noticable at first because EVERYTHING has a yellow hue. Now, even if someone doesn't smoke inside - all of that "yellow" stuff if on their hands and clothes and hair when they smoke outside. My midwife recommended people even changing clothes (as well as washing hands) before holding the baby.

[elizajean]

also - who can avoid kissing a baby - are they also washing their faces and mouths?

[Dawn101]

i just wanna know if there really is 2nd hand smoke on clothing that can be harmful to lungs and whatnot. i heard a rumor but i think it is just that it smells bad and not that it is actually harmful to people around you when you smell like smoke

[jdubs824]

I'm not sure what doctors you've actually spoken to, but I can't imagine ANY doctor denying the harmful effects of smoking and second hand smoke.  I'm a nurse and I work in a hospital where I see patients everyday suffering from effects of firsthand and second hand smoke.  While it's impossible to say that smoking causes lung disease and other problems, there are mountains of evidence, statistics and research that prove smoking is the primary causative factor in many respiratory disorders.  Smoking tobacco products firsthand is the main cause of preventable death in the US.  

I'm pregnant with my first child now.  Luckily no one on my side of the family smokes, however my husbands sister has smoked for 17 years.  I've already voiced my concerns to him about her smoking habits around the baby and he is going to talk to her about it before the birth.  If she chooses to smoke that's her business, but when she will be in the same place as the baby she will have to wash her hands and have a blanket covering her or change into a fresh change of clothes when she holds it.  It's bad enough when she pets my dog and the dog smells like smoke the whole day.  I'm not going to expose my child's sensitive immune system or put up with the nastiness of my beautiful fresh baby's smell stinking like cigarettes.

[gloke]

I am new to this site, and so glad to have come across this topic. I am a smoker. Unfortunately I was unable to quit completely during my (3) pregnancies.  My doctor talked to us and advised us that the best thing is to cut back if I cannot completely stop.  She stated that it's better to limit my smoking than to add the stress of quitting cold turkey.  I did infact deliver all of my children healthy with no allergies/complications ect.  

My ex and I got into a huge argument one day about the effects of my smoke on my clothing.  He was positive that any odor that remained on my clothing was being inhaled into our newborns lungs. I always took precautions when smoking.  For the most part, I always put a robe on, went outside, and always, always washed my hands before picking up our daughter again.  To this day, he holds it against me that I smoked during and after the birth of our daughter. She is now 4 years old, and other than your normal sniffles and cold, perfectly fine.

I think I might just forward this link on to him!  

[jdubs824]

Here is a link to what I thought was an interesting research study.  I should also stress that regardless of any evidence or non-evidence of contamination from smokers clothing aside, as a non-smoker, I do appreciate a smoker who respects the fact I don't want to SMELL it on MY baby.  As a mother, I don't think that's too much to ask.

http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/shs.html