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22 with porn induced erectile dysfunction?

by bummed_out, Mar 18, 2008 11:32PM
The first two times I tried to have sex I couldn't get an erection at all, one time was sober one drunk. Then the next girl was kind of a 3-night stand over a weekend with the only improvement being getting a half-erection and penetrating momentarily before it was too flaccid to go on.

Now, I've met the woman of my dreams, definite soul-mate and drop dead gorgeous...I ended up telling her about my past failures in intercourse and she joked it would happen with us but I was sure it wouldn't because theres a real connection with this girl, unlike the other two. And she's beautiful too, out of my league even...But sure enough the other night it was time and of course I couldn't get an erection...

I managed to get a decent halfer at first when the clothes started coming off and she grabbed around, but then it just wimped out and went away...

I've looked at internet porn since I was 12, now I'm 22, There have been times where the internet porn addiction got kind of bad, but it always mellowed out to calmer more normal routines, but always frequent. Sometimes I'd masturbate daily, multiple times daily, but then other times I'd go for a few days or so without any porn or masturbation.

Either way this girl is really cool and understanding and we talk about it openly with next to no embarrassment on my part anymore, I was going to see a doctor but then we decided it might be porn induced or psychological, and after that night I've written off all porn and I'm not masturbating again for a while.

My question I guess is was this enough for any of you? What was your porn addiction like in level of seriousness/frequency?

I'm hoping just abstaining from any kind of porn or sexual release for a while and only allowing myself to get off with her will work...If not I'll be crazy bummed...but I guess I'd go to a doctor...I'm just hoping porn has Temporarily (hopefully very temporarily) given me this problem and its on its way out very soon.

Any help or anything at all is appreciated, its kind of hard to talk about this stuff openly with your friends or "the dudes" and my girlfriend isn't knowledgeable or experienced in this...
Member Comments (42)

by smeghead, Mar 19, 2008 03:24PM
are you saying you can get an erection from looking at porn but not when you are with a woman ?

22 is a bit young to have this problem

Is your penis normal size when flaccid ?

how long have you refrained from masturbating for ?

by bummed_out, Mar 19, 2008 05:31PM
Yea, when I look at porn and can just keep browsing endless categories and stimulate myself I can get nice erections, but with a beautiful girl with whom I'm in love I can only get a half-erection that then fades away...

I've stopped masturbating for 4 days, since the morning of the incident.

by smeghead, Mar 19, 2008 06:40PM
that is strange - what kind of porn are you interested in ?

I don't know about "porn" , I am more interested in "fetishes"  eg foot fetish


Is your girlfriend similar to the women in the porn you enjoy - could that be the problem ?

I suppose your willy may have got more used to the porn than the real thing

you could be unconsciously embarrassed by your porn interests and that stops you getting it up

I don't know what to suggest really

by bummed_out, Mar 19, 2008 07:32PM
I think its just desensitization, It used to be just naked girls, then that got old then lesbians and so on, so now a beautiful woman naked on my bed I guess doesn't work despite my desires or intentions.

by Henry72, Mar 20, 2008 12:48PM
To: bummed_out
I would think about "what it is that enters your thoughts when you loose your erection". You could be just lacking confidence.......perhaps fearful of not being able to perform. I would doubt that pornography has caused the problem. What about control.....That's the thing about lots of porn...your in control and there's no pressure... I doubt porn has caused the problem directly. I would go and see your GP. Erectile issues can really mess with your head (no pun intended). Lot's of blokes have a similar problem and he/she maybe able to help. I have had a similar experience in my 20's and i did nothing about it. Now i'm in my 30's and have sought help. Your GP will be able to sort out whether the issue is Psychological or physical. I have used Viagra /Cialis etc and find they often take the pressure off worrying about getting aroused and staying that way..... Problem with using them is if you have no physical reason for needing them and it's more in your head....than you can become dependendant on needing them to have sex and a) their expensive and b) they don't really deal with your confidence issue....

Anyway hope that helps

by smeghead, Mar 20, 2008 06:44PM
To: bummed_out
you are lucky to have a beautiful woman naked on your bed

no chance of that for me

will she be bothered if you can't get it up long term ?

you could try zinc and maca also l-arginine

by Lotsadrome, Apr 03, 2008 09:41PM
To: bummed_out
Man it sounds a lot like me. I'm 28 though. I typed a couple paragraphs on here for you but it got erased and dont' feel like typing it out again. If you are still interested in what I had to say I'll type it again. How has the porn-abstinence been going? Is it working?

by freakrojja4, Apr 04, 2008 08:11AM
To: bummed-out
Hi mate,,,,,,,,,,,I'm facing the same issue,,,,,,,,,,,I think we shouls stop watching porn,,,,,,,,,,,It's very dangerous,,,,,,,,,Take care mate<<<<<,,,,,,,,, No other way out,,,,,,,May God help us

by freakrojja4, Apr 04, 2008 08:13AM
To: bummed-out
Hi mate,,,,,,,,,,,I'm facing the same issue,,,,,,,,,,,I think we should stop watching porn,,,,,,,,,,,It's very dangerous,,,,,,,,,Take care mate<<<<<,,,,,,,,, No other way out,,,,,,,May God help us

by Beargizmo, Apr 04, 2008 09:39AM
I went through 5 year self induced 'dry spell' after the end of a relationship.  I wound up viewing a lot of porn and masturbating quite a bit.  Then, I met the woman who ultimately became my 2nd wife and found I had a similar problem.  Finally was able to get an erection and maintain it, then was unable to climax..thanks to her patience and assistance we got through that..and I was in my late 40s then..

Lay off the porn..keep your hand off your johnson..spend time with your girlfriend just "enjoying" being with each other.  after a few days take a nice bath together..soap each other up, relax, etc..give it some time and "it" will come around.  Your body is just used to a different stimulation and the feel of the grip of your hand on your "boy"..relax, and quit worrying about it and give it some time

Jim

by BananaJoe, Apr 13, 2008 03:40PM
Hi guys,
I've got the exact same problem:
Met a new hot girl, but I can't get it up. I have no problem while using porn. Has anybody made experiences how long it will take to get over that?

(btw: I'm 26 and in good shape, so I'm sure it is the porn why it's not working with a real girl..)

by Lonnie51, Apr 23, 2008 09:31PM
To: bummed_out
Here's my theory:  You associate porn with something bad, dirty, forbidden, etc. and that excites you, so you get a hard on.  But this girl is pure, special, everything porn is not, so if you associate her with a hard on, you would be associating her with porn, which you probably don't want to do.  Subconsciously you are protecting her from the former "bad" you and all that "bad" porn excitement.  You need to remind yourself that love is beautiful and that includes the sex that accompanies love.  It can't be bad.  I think most people respond to porn because we are mortal human beings and we really can't prevent our physical reactions to something sexually arousing. It's normal.  Love is special and we respond to that too. I'm sure you're a good person and if you really love this girl, you could never hurt her.  

by rankett, Apr 24, 2008 02:21AM
To: BananaJoe
> Has anybody made experiences how long it will take to get over that?

I think this depends on the individual. We are not all the same. I would say for starters try to abstain for at least one month from both porn and real sex. Well, the second is probably difficult but my suggestion is to try both. Developing some other activities often helps to draw attention and energy elsewhere and, consequently, to achieve abstinence more easily. Don't give up (for the porn part) if you don't see improvement. You probably need more time, which would be not surprising at all. And don't forget: porn can easily ***intoxicate*** human mind.

by Seeking_the_Answer, Apr 24, 2008 03:44AM
To: bumed_out
Hey man, Ive just read your thread, I know its been a while since you posted it. When I was a teenager I too would try to have sex with my girlfriend, it didnt work. She to was beautiful and eventually left me for it, I hope your girl is more understanding. I was molested as a young boy of 9 or 10, and was taught how to masterbate. I masterbateed daily from the time I was 11 to 18, I also watched porn pretty often. The only thing I can really think of, is first of all I got used to manual stimulation erections, before I was really even able to get erections. I only remember a couple of times when I got an unaided erection good enough for sex, but unfortunately there was no girl around. I took a break from masterbating (masturbating) for a while and eventhough I have other problems now, I seem to be more Interested in actually having sex than before. My theory is basically you have to train your body and mind. Wait as long as you can between masterbation (masturbation) sessions, and when you cant hold off anymore, try to think about you and your partner in a real sexual situation. Also try to focus more on what your doing, concentrate and relax. I am 23 years and sex is no longer a big part of my life, I simply dont need sex or a woman in life and really consider them both a terrible burdon. You can focus your energy on other things, I know its hard to not be pressured to have sex in this world, but sleeping with a woman who is not your wife is not morally correct anyway. I do not want to offend, but Jesus says, Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline so be earnest and repent. So no matter what you do in life, give it your all. If a man does his best what else is there. Good luck

by BananaJoe, Jun 06, 2008 05:49AM
To: all
Hi guys,

just wanted to let you know I have overcome my problem.
Now after two months the urge of watching porn has mostly gone.
I'm masturbating 2-3 times a week (before I did up to 15 times..)
I'm in good shape, stopped smoking, reduced drinking, and exercise 3 times a week.

I can get a hard on even by just looking at a hot girl in college/ in the mall, and it feels great! And sex with my fu..buddy is great.

Just wanted to let you know: if you are willing to overcome this problem /addiction with porn, you can do it. It's not easy, but it's worth it!

by Aaron2468, Jun 06, 2008 05:58AM
To: All
Does anyone know if its possible to incress the girth or length of your penis without surgery?

by Stellios, Jul 11, 2008 08:33AM
To: BananaJoe
Hey dude, just wanted to ask if your still doing ok, and how long did it take till you noticed any effect with your penis?  I think I have the same problem that you had, as I cant get it up without any physical stimulus at all anymore, no natural erections.  Even when I see a smoking hot girl, my brain knows shes hot, but my penis is just dead.  I'm convinced it's been the porn that's done it as i've been masturbating ever since like 12 and never had much success with the ladies till now.  I've stopped masturbating, started jogging/weights, hoping i'll get it back into shape, as I think my penis has just gotten used to having a hand around it, and/or i've just abused it so much its desensatized.  It's been 5 days off the porn etc so far.  Taking one zinc tablet (15mg) each day hoping that will help too.  I really need to get this fixed, my girlfriend is so understandable about it, but we can't have any sex because of it.  Mucho annoyed.  A doctor just laughed in my face about it the other day, and just said its because im getting old, even though i'm only 23!!!

Hope you/anyone can help.

Cheers

by Stellios, Jul 12, 2008 03:24AM
To: bummed_out
Any progress with you bummed_out?  Has anyone got anymore success stories, and how they achieved it?

Thanks

by BananaJoe, Jul 12, 2008 05:28AM
To: Stellios
Hi Stellios,
I needed 1-2 weeks of total abstinence until my spontaneous erections came back, and after the same time I had no problems anymore with my fuckbuddy.

The only thing that is left is that I sometimes just can't come. But my FB likes that I can go on and on. Usually this happens if I have sex more than twice a day. Everything else is like it was before.

So, in summary I'd say that if you have the discipline to stop watching porn, you'll get back to where you were within 1-3 weeks. Masturbation is ok sometimes, but leave the porn away.

Stellios, I'm sure you'll get over that!


Good Luck and let us know how it works out for you!

by Stellios, Jul 12, 2008 11:25AM
To: BananaJoe
Thanks for the reply BananaJoe, much appreciated dude! Will post soon with an update.

Cheers

Stellios

by mowdabyke, Jul 22, 2008 05:51PM
To: BananaJoe, bummed_out, all
I've been looking at porn since I was 9. I'm 21 now. Its only during the last year, once I started to get seriously sexually active that I realized I had an ED problem.

After going through the requisite freaking out about how I was too young to have ED and embarrassment when I couldn't just pop up and go the way guys my age are supposed to be able to, I began to suspect there was some connection to porn. I have no problems when watching porn, but I'm dead when it comes to me being with my girl friend. And I love her.

It is scary how little awareness there is on the net that ED caused by too much porn is a very real problem. It's not about us lacking confidence, or being uneasy around our lovers, I truly believe its all about desensitization. Although my heart and soul are in my lover, she just can't physically arouse me. She can't compete, no girl can ever compete, with the endless sexual visual fiction porn offers.

So, after reading through a lot of similar stories on medhelp, i've decided to give up porn and hope that my penis starts functioning normally, with the girl I love, and not with meaningless fantasies online.

BananaJoe, your story is truly a source of faith for me that my problems can be worked out. It's been 3 days since I've been off porn, and will be visiting my girlfriend at her home in Colorado in three weeks. I hope years and years of visual desensitization and addiction aren't going to destroy my chance to ever have a normal sex life.


Ps - I think we really owe a round of thanks to the wonderful women in our lives who have stood by us while we face our worst fears and wrangle with this debilitating embarrassment. I hope for all of you to have a supportive girl in your life as I do.

by iwasneverhere, Oct 18, 2008 07:08AM
To: ALL
yeah same thing happened to me...

laid off the porn for 2 days and it solved the problem...

but porn was never really the problem...it was HOW i jerked off to porn...

you have to learn to jerk off with less and less use of ur hands, more control of ur mental stimulation and more use of ur imagination...

if you think about it porn and sex are practically the same thing...
but when u jerk off to porn ur hand is doing all the work, and in sex ur penis has to do the work...

if you want to stop porn, u can stop, but dont stop masturbating...
u have to learn to masturbate using ur imagination and as little help from your hands as possible...

DO NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT SEX....the aim is to get hornier...
practice makes perfect...

its like learning to ride a bike...first u had training wheels (when u used ur own hands and watched porn) now u should take the training wheels off and if u keep falling down u keep trying again(but WITHOUT the training wheels)

in the meantime to satisfy ur girlfriends there are stuff u can do for them that can make up for ur erectile dysfunction...and who knows maybe when u do that stuff u'll get so horny ur penis will want to join in on the fun...

u'll get it...everyone does eventually...no one has a penis that just "doesn't work"...and i dont care if u've been watching porn for 100years, ur not gonna be sexually retarded for life...as long as UR HAND can do it, YOU CAN do it too...

by MrGeekhead, Nov 17, 2008 05:09PM
Thank you all!!

I've been in a total desperation and depression for almost a year!! From when I failed in a real situation.

Now I know the cause of my problems for sure!

-Jerking off for a long time (>4 years)
-Watching dirtier and dirtier porn to get it up (starting with pictures of girls)
-Hitting the old man harder and harder in a crazy, non natural way

All this applies to me!

I've even visited two urologists who both said I was totally healthy. I did not belive them. There had to be something wrong physically! Now, I know they were right!

I hope I heal soon!

by BananaJoe, Nov 18, 2008 03:16AM
To: MrGeekhead
Hi MrGeekhead,

I'm sure within 1-2 weeks your body will relearn normal sexual response if you see a hot girl. It will take some willpower, but its definitely worth it!

Wish you the best,
Banana

by MrGeekhead, Nov 18, 2008 02:55PM
To: BananaJoe
Thanks man! You cheer me up.

I will report my progress.

I'm 25 BTW.

by stevo29, Nov 18, 2008 10:25PM
To: banana man joe
I been masturbatin to porn since i was 12 im 21 also just like all these stories i read, ive also been in and out of jail ive done 2 years. 2 weeks here, 3 months there, 6 months here, on and off.  I just recently caught herpes from eating a couple girls out on their periods.  sso it makes some people stupid you dont use your whole brain it intoxicates your brain this stuff is ok as long as you plan on living in a place for intoxicated brains. a porno world! My advice is to try stopping jerking off to porn. Its not going to work if youve been doing it as long as me or mowdabyke.  But try if it dont work dont keep trying and shooting yourself for it. Just put yourself somewheres that you cant have it like a psych ward. or 6 feet under. Or you could always find a girlfriend who supports you , i dont think thats very practical though u need lots of people who support you not just one girl (maybe being homeless for a while is the answer)

My problem is i wake up in the morning so depressed im not with a hott girl that i have to masturbate to porn 1st thing in the morning! Or I just go back to sleep because I know that after I Jerk off I won't get anything done that day, Ill end up more and more depressed I need help Im close to going back to prison or being homeless because its gotten me to a point where i Don't care about anything.  My penis is very small because of this addiction there is no way out its hopeless drugs porn and death i should write a book! I think building a treehouse and cutting all ties and living out in the woods is a good idea!

by propeciauser, Dec 05, 2008 02:18AM
I am 24 and I've been having low sex drive for about 18 months now. Im still unsure if this has been caused by a drug for hair loss called Propecia (finasteride), because lowered sex drive is a side effect of this drug. However, I stopped propecia 18 months ago, and my sex drive is still worse than ever.

After seeing a bunch of doctors and doing blood tests, all doctors have said I am healthy and that this is psychological. Before my sex drive disappeared, I was the horniest person on earth. I was masturbating at least twice a day, and having sex with women was never a problem.

I never preferred porn to real sex, but I would spend hours everyday watching porn. Even then I could ejaculate and have sex multiple times a day. I've been watching porn since I was like 12.

However, I noticed I started having erectile problems and low sex drive when having sex with my girlfriend at that time back in summer 2007. I immediately blamed the propecia drug, but doctors couldnt find anything hormonally or physically wrong.

Since then, I have found many claims that porn can desensitize you. Although porn had never affected my sex drive and performance with real women for all my life, I noticed I was watching increasingly graphic porn to get aroused. They call this "escalation" for porn addicts. I never once thought that too much porn could be unhealthy or lower my threshold for becoming aroused until I read all these stories of porn overuse.

Im still unsure whether the Propecia drug has affected me, but I have completely cut out porn from my life (stopped watching 2 weeks ago).

I feel like one clue that my problem may be physical is that since I lost my sex drive, I have also lost my normal morning erections (I used to get morning erections everyday of my life until June 2007 when my sex drive disappeared). Every guy is different when it comes to morning erections, but I know I personally used to get one everyday until this started happening.

So, my question for you guys is this: when you started noticing sexual dysfunction, did you notice any loss in your morning erections?

by calikid916, Feb 07, 2009 03:16PM
To: Readers above
To Bananna Joe and IWasNeverHere,
You 2 are totally right AND Inspired me ! Seriously. I had the same issue. Had no problems getting hard off porn but when it came to sex with a woman I would go limp after a few minutes. 1. Masturbating to porn everyday for several years is part of the problem. 2. Like Iwasneverhere said , Its not just watching porn its HOW you masturbate. The grip of your fingers wrapped tight is much more intense then having a condom on and sliding in and out a nice soft Vagina. Over years of masturbation I became acustom to my hands and the Soft vagina just wasnt doing it for me.  I orginally stopped masturbation for a week. After just a few days I was getting spontaneous erections again. When I do masturbate I try to keep it down to once a day and use as little pressure from my hands as I can so I dont train my Penis into its old ways. Yesterday I had my 1st orgasm/longtime errection in a woman with condom since ... 5-6 months. So to all those readers out there down get down on yourself like I did. Just quit the porn and masturbation for a couple weeks. And if you do make it short and sweet. Dont masturbate with an erection to porn for over 5-10 Min or it may effect you like ifeffected me!  - GL to all of you and God speed!

by desdes81, Feb 17, 2009 12:40AM
To: Everyone
I'm having exactly the same problem and it happened to me tonight. I met a girl in the park i talk to her and everything was alright she was good looking but i wasnt feeling her but like i said she was good looking its just that i'm picky but everything was so smooth that she invited me to her house so i said ok and it was my first time that i was about to have sex. So when we were on her bed i said to my self that like most guys who's having sex for the first time i will probably ejaculate prematuraly but after that i will be ok. And when she start giving me a ******** i just couldn't get an erection so i had to tell her that i was just too nervous but i know it wasn't that cause i wasn't scare or anything it just i saw her breast and since i wasn't into her at the begining it was probably that. But then i start thinking maybe it's all the porn that i watch since i'm 13 now i'm 22 and i always watch nice girls with huge breast and she wasn't like those girls so i really think it's that. The funny part it's that i almost ask her if she had some porn so i can get hard. After reading all your comments i do think it's also the way i mastubate so now i will lay off this "gift and curse" that we call porn for a while and try to be in love with every kind of girl big or slim breast or no breast pretty or ugly blond hair or black hair. I'll try this method and try to get with a girl and i will give news to say if it worked

by BustedBoy, Mar 31, 2009 10:13PM
To: All
After reading posts like these I finally decided about a month ago that i would give up porn once and for all.... TOTALLY... I'm thinkin that watchin porn when u have a girl around that loves u loads is like cheating on her.... so i went off it totally and i've been off it for over a month....I really love my new girlfriend ....and she really loves me.... conversation on the phone at night (Nothing erotic) keeps me away from the porn i'd have been watchin at that hour.... bein with her is so much fun!!!!

So I wanted to give her birthday sex but in the middle of foreplay it went limp once again.... and I bust out the fingers to finish the business! It's gonna get lame soon.... I know.... why can't I get it up even though I went off the porn???!?!  I masturbated 2 days ago after a break of over a month without porn  and i used my imagination after a really REALLY long time.... it felt great.... but my erection was so half -assed!  It kept fallin flat when left unstimulated for more than 5 seconds.... but I climaxed and climaxed good.... with her on my mind... that's good right???

Also, what's worse is that I have almost totally stopped gettin random erections during the day since I stopped watching porn and masturbating frequently.... my penis feels kind of lifeless... i can feel it... and Since 2 weeks ago or so the morning erections have stopped too.... i wake up with a flacid penis and feel SOOOOOO frustrated that i try massaging it juss to see it get up.... even after the massage it's not fully up n falls flat in a couple of seconds.... the head and the front area are quite hard but the bottom of the shaft is really weak....this never used to happen.... I ALWAYS used to wake up with wood.... so much so that if i was sleepin in the same room as some other person I'd have to wait it out before I get out of bed.... what the hell is happening????  Is it some sort of withdrawal symptom???  Has this happened to anyone else?  Does anyone know how to put life back in it???  Suppelements, etc? .... I'm only 24, I don't smoke, I drink only one night or 2 nights a week, I work out 2-3 times a day and ride a bicycle at least 4 KMs a day.... pretty briskly too.... I think I'm in top shape but I haven't had my blood tested for the usual levels in a long time.... Please help me.... I have a girlfriend that I really love and i really don't wanna disappoint her....

by limpbisquet, Apr 21, 2009 11:15PM
To: busted boy/ all
Well I'm older than you guys 48 and I am diabetic..
But I have been a stud all my life...not a big **** but rock hard and after it everyday. I either had sex or masterbated everyday since I was 14...
Even when I was 40 I'd have a woody so hard I couldn't pee in the toilet..I'd have to count backwards from 100 till it went down.
Then I got a laptop..watching porn everyday masterbating (masturbating) one or twice a day...then one day I went limp on my sexy wife...then again....due to work we spent 6 months apart lots of porn...now I get hardly any night woodies and when I masterbate my **** is half limp...or less..without viagra I doubt I could get it up with my wife...
I know diabetes causes ed..but I am in shape lift, run, and have no other problems...My balls are used to cumming everyday...but the **** is limp...I am addicted to porn...I now believe the combination of porn and overmasterbation has caused this rather than diabetes...I have only been able to cut back to 5 times a weeks..no improvement...I have decided after reading this thread i am not alone...Has anyone found any success in quiting porn and getting it back? Banana Joe more info...I am going to quit porn and try to cut back to once a week see what happens.Help!  Has anyone beat this!

by Spite, Apr 30, 2009 02:01PM
I'm totally desensitized by porn. I use to masterbate for hours and not *** to try to go longer during sex. Now I can't seem to get it up when with a real girl. But I can masterbate to porn and get a super hard erection anytime. I even *** pretty fast.
When I'm with a girl, I can't seem to get enough stimulation to *** from oral and my penis doesn't seem to stay hard long enough to satisfy.
I am sure that I have watched to much porn and have decided to stop. I will also take viagra in small amounts daily to help boost my confidence. Also will stop smoking and drinking. I will also masterbate using no visual aid and using a little pressure as possible from my hand with lots of lube...although it may take me forever to *** if at all.
After doing this a for so long, I will report back and let you guys know if there is hope. If i don't have any good news after making all these changes, that will totally suck

by ttt100, May 02, 2009 11:10AM
To: Spite
Hi! I hope that your strategy give you some positive effects!!! I'm in the same boat. Normal intercourse don't excite me so much + lack of penile pleasure and ed :( , this is really terrifying... We're all waiting for results!!! / (sorry for my english)

by guggu, May 28, 2009 09:32AM
To: Spite
Hi i have like lets say the same problem. Im 32 male and watch porn everyday and maturbate as well. My wife is not very good in sex but i always use to have a good erection. About three weeks ago i had a one night stand with a lady and was very nice u since then i am having a problem having a hard one when i try and have sex with my wife. Can anybody help pls>

by naijaboy, Jun 08, 2009 06:21PM
To: guggu
Im assuming that since you had sex with another woman outside of your marriage (which must have been better for you) your interest in sex with your wife has gone down hill. I used to have ED problems and the things I noticed that made a difference were
1. new girl
2. staying away from porn for a few day before sex
3. THINKING ABOUT THE THINGS THAT TURN YOU ON ABOUT THE PERSON YOU ARE LOOKING TO HAVE SEX WITH
4. Masturbating on the phone with the girl on the other line
5. feeling confident that I can have sex with anyone and that I can do it well
6. Opening the condom and placing it on the table beside the bed until you are completely turned on
7. Getting head before actual intercourse
Those are the major changes I made. It took me 3 different girls and 1 year to get through this. I know what yall are going through but I know that more than likely it will go away in time. Be confident in yourself. Try some of the steps especially staying away from porn for a few days before sex. I think I stopped for 3 or 4 days before my first time and made the girl I wanted to have sex with my porn.

good luck

by naijaboy, Jun 08, 2009 06:32PM
To: guggu and spite
Also try and reduce the amount of stress you're under, get enough sleep and definitely take multi vitamins from all the stuff you lost from masturbating. By the time I was able to get things working for me I was done with finals and summer had just started. I was getting alot of sleep and chillin. Make sure you feel really comfortable with the girl too. The first time I met the girl I was able to have sex with she took me to victoria's secret and told me to pick something out for her.

And when you do try DO NOT GIVE UP!!! the first time I tried with this girl my **** wasnt sure what to do. I was able to get hard, put the condom on and got in. Right when I got in I got soft again. Luckily I had told the girl my situation beforehand and she was just as determined to have sex with me as i was with her. She told me to keep going and I did. I had no idea what I was doing but I didnt care anymore. She gave me a smile and the next thing you know I was hard AND MADE HER *** 5 TIMES THAT NIGHT. This was my first time actually having real sex with a girl. YOU ALL HAVE IT IN YOU!!! NEVER GIVE UP!!!

by TheDOC43, Jun 09, 2009 09:54AM
To: Everyone
I'm 27 years old  and have been dealing with this problem since the age of 24. It's funny how this condition can gradually set in. I challenge each of you to attempt to discover when the condition first showed its colors. Many of you will be tempted to say "well when I was with this person I was unable to perform". but if you look a deeper you may notice that the condition began to set in way earlier than that.

I understand better than most what it's like being young and living with ED. After my "recognizing stage", you know when the weight of the world seems comes down on you and crushes you like a  bug.....I began to think in a more constructive maner.  

First, the natuaral course of action is to read online and learn everything you can about ED (causes, possible cures, etc.). Next, I visited multiple general practitioners and noticed that they were generally ignorant regarding this condition. Their knowledge was limited and knew only what their Cialis, Levitra, and Viagra reps had taught them (a bit bias to say the least). I took the pills and generally had the same problem and began to grow really concerned that a solution may not exist me. Me, being the bulheaded "never take no for an answer" son-of-a-***** that I am, decided to take this a step further and fully explore my medical state. I had blood work ran (testosterone levels, cholesteral, hormones, etc), I personally paid for a CatScan of my pelvic region to ensure blood flow was normal and sufficient. I had a Urologist perform Doppler Testing on my penis and took every natural herb in the book. Guess what the result was?? .........HEALTHY and FINE!!

After ruling out physical conditions, I proceeded to the next logical step. I engaged in psych examination with a physician from Dartmouth for three months. Physch evauluation is tough because you never know when it's finished and it's very expensive. I soon ran out of money and had to stop my evaluations. It's now a year later.....and I'm still dealing with the condition.

Long story short....."I feel your pain man". The real issue sourrounding ED is that once you've experienced it you may be destined to remember it for a while. This means that when you engage in sexual activity you're mind snaps into the past and remembers what happened before. This causes a small amount of anxiety and causes your corpus muscles in your penis to restrict blood flow and leaves your noodle limp.

Good news.....I've began new work and my carear is really taking off. After years, I've trained my mind to not focus on the issue. This is tough because lets face it..without the ability to reproduce you feel worthless not only as a man, but also a human being (women who have similar female problems feel the same). This process of reducing stresses in my life in association with maintaing good health has helped me regain control of my erections exponentially. Their not perfect, but have vastly improved. Like many of these posters, I have watched porn for 12-13 years and masterbated like a champ. My next stage is to cut out the porn and see how resensitization effects my performance.

Thanks for your posts, they've helped! I truley believe if you continue to work towards a resolution and don't spend your days moping you will find peace! Remeber....healthy body, helathy mind, healthy spirit = healthy results!

by sweetcherrygirl, Sep 02, 2009 09:00PM
To: all guys who posted
Hi,

I had sex with a 40 year old man who I spoke as if he wanted to **** every hot woman around.  I went to his place to have sex with him after meeting him in a parking lot where he kissed me and told me all about how he wanted to have oral sex with me.  He seemed really horny then but when I arrived to do it with him that night, he lost his erection.  I gave him a ******** and he did get it back up and came.  However, the next time we did it again and he went limp in the middle of things.  I was kind of shocked but I now I think his problem lies in stress and too much masturbation.  Personally, I know that it is also hard for me to *** during sex because I use a high powered dildo that I am fond of.  I am going to talk to him about porn and try to quit the high power tools to see if it works for me too.  Hopefully, things will get better for us both...I will let you know...Keep positive and don't watch porn...I don't want to become addicted...I find fantasies much better and more intimate...thanks guys for being so honest...:)

by Mr_Splooge, Oct 13, 2009 02:58PM
To: You All
Wow, I'm really glad to have found this Forum.  I, too, am a porn addict.  I actually started extremely early, around the age of five.  It first started from me somehow getting turned on by women on just regular television.  Ginger from Gilligans Island, the blond chick from Three's Company, just any hott looking girls from television.  I don't even think I had an erection at 5; I would just rub on the bed and *** a little load.  Then, throughout the years, late night cinemax with the softcore porn got me through my days.  I got to see boobs!!!  After that, when I first was introduced to real porn I was about 16 and I couldn't even believe what was going on!!  They were really having intercourse.  I suddenly got a supercharged hard on from the image of hardcore porn.  I could never go back to softcore, it's not enough.  Now years passed, and I was pretty much masturbating everyday from video rentals and internet porn.  Now that porn is so easily accessed I see the escalation of my preference.  I am no longer aroused by one on one sex, it has to be an orgy or gangbang or *** on the face.  Whats scary is, guys pissing in chicks mouths got my pants to move.  I think it's time to stop!!!!

Anyway, it has always crossed my mind that porn and even television in general has had a great impact on my erectile dysfunction.  I'm 28 now and even still suffer from the  problem.  And yes, it's because I'm still addicted to porn.  It's hard to stop, especially with the new free porn sites available.  But don't get me wrong, I've had sexual encounters with plenty of women; and some of them, I've failed to plow my **** in their vagina unless I use viagra.  And some, i've pleasured really well orally or with my fingers.  However, I'm really disappointed that I have a hard time finishing inside.  I would either get flacid really quick, or when using viagra, stay hard forever and never finish.  I feel bad because the girl sometimes think it's them even when they're super hott.  I feel like I'm psychologically damaging them and myself.  I'm even afraid I can't have any kids because of it.   Anyway, I'm glad to find this forum and hope we can all get through it together.  Then maybe in the future we can get our girls and make our own orgy. haha

by sugardaddy09, Nov 06, 2009 09:06AM
wow I this cause is not mentioned anywhere on any ED information sites. I am pretty certain this is my problem exactly.. I am going to quit porn and batting off for 2 weeks and see how that goes. I dont think any of you guys should worry, im 23 and having these issues.. we cant all have physical issues.. its definetly the porn!!! Be strong with your will power to stop!!

by cckap1994, Nov 06, 2009 10:19AM
To: Please give me pointers
Please see my question under "Loss of arousal before sex". I'm 34 years old and did watch porn a lot.

by archaen, Nov 07, 2009 11:06AM
To: spites
any updates?

anyone else overcome this?
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