Coping and Fear

[Red_Ruby]

One year has lapsed past since my last post and it has been again a fustrating one for me.  On the upside I have a new GP who has taken over the practice and he has cared for me for around a year now.  He believes I do have MS and he telephoned my Neurologist and talked to him his concerns for my health .  I see the Neuro on May 3rd, which is not far away, thankfully.

I have recently had five episodes of double vision, which is typical of MS he said.  I have had two falls where my left leg has given away from me.  My upper left arm has gone numb and I am always fatigued.

My GP told me I am going to have another MRI done and be referred, depending on these results to the MS Clinic at the major Hospital in Melbourne. So I am praying for answers as my body just feels so unwell.  I am so tired of feeling depressed and at times suicidal because of my fustration of being unwell so much.

Whilst I dont want to have MS, I actually do to want to have a positive result so I can get some treatment.  

Then if it negative what will I do next; that is my biggest fear.

[luvnGod]

Hi Red Ruby,

I am where you are now....years of symptoms, still no answers.  I definitely think you need to see a MS specialist.  SO good to hear your GP is pushing for answers for you!  Please keep us updated on your MRI.  I pray you get answers soon.  I feel the way you do about getting a diagnosis.  After a while you do start to feel nuts, depressed, etc. and you just wants answers regardless of what they may be.  I will pray for you!

Many blessings
Stacie

[figuerpa]

Red Ruby,

I have been where you are now. I know the frustration of the "not knowing" and the stress just makes everything worse.

I couldn't wait to have a name for what ails me, but then when I got the dx I went through all the emotions that come along with knowing that I have a chronic and posibly debilitating disease.

My outlook changed when I realized that no matter what happens it is out of my control and I need to just go with it. There are meds after meds that can help with symptoms even before a dx. When there are relapses there is IVSM which is wonderful but my last relapse I chose to ride it out.

It is a hard thing to deal with and the emotions keep flowing. All I can say is...try to just enjoy each and everyday that you can because we never know what tomorrow is going to bring.

Once you come to some sort of peace with what is going on with you then things will get easier for you. Things settle down for me when I learned to just go with it, everything that went wrong with me threw me in a tailspin and I lost all hope, then I realized that 9 out of 10 times the symptoms would go away and everything would be ok, so taking that I when new symptoms happen to me now I know that it will either get better or it wont but I am not going to let it stop me from living.

The depression set in for me before my dx then I worked my way out of that funk and came to the conclusion I described above.

Now I am not telling you how you should feel by any means I am just trying to tell you what worked for me and got me through the diagnosis process.

I hope you get some answers when you see the neuro. Keep us posted okay?

Take care,
Paula

[saucygrl]

Once I was diagnosed it took about 5 months to get medication because my insurance wouldn't cover the one my neurologist wanted me on (Tysabri).  After 3 appeals I told him to start me on something else.  We chose Copaxone.  They say that it won't help you get better, but keep you from getting worse.  I did start feeling better, but I was also doing acupuncture and just the relief of knowing and the stress being lifted off me made a huge difference.  I feel like it helps with my energy, but it really could have been a number of things.

I also stopped eating gluten just to see if it helped and I really believe it does, but each person is different.  Like you, I was desperate to find anything that helped.  I am also very heat sensitive so cool showers and baths make me feel better. It's definitely worth a try!  

[Red_Ruby]

Hi Chris,

Thank you for your reply.  Once you were dx what medication were you given and did it make you feel better?  

I am into my third year of trying to get dx, I have lesions on my dorsal column which was found 2 years ago but they still gave me no MS dx.  Hopefully time this more lesions may show.

Red Ruby

[saucygrl]

Your sound very similar to mine.  It took me 6 years to finally get a diagnosis, but my GP was the one who got the process started as well. After she did, things moved quickly.  I was so glad I changed doctors because this one actually listened to me.

Like you, I didn't want it to be MS, but it is a HUGE relief to know what it is and that you are not going crazy.  You are definitely headed in the right direction!!  

Best wishes for a quick and correct dx!
Chris