How to know if Should go to Mental Hospital????

[YayaMommie]

So I've been reeling from the diagnosis.  First time was "I think you have ms."  3 hr MRI and second visit was "you have primary progressive ms.  I only have 20 minutes to spend with you ". Wow.

This after nearly dying 6 months ago from an infection and still taking meds for it.

Spouse out of work for long time.  

Money gone - can't pay bills. Now have medical bills.  I just spent 7 years repairing lousy credit.  

Selling house to pay bills.

That's just the tip of the iceberg.

Can't stop crying.

Neuropsych exam was bad - I've lost dozens of iq points.  

Each day I struggle more to find words I can't remember.  I'm utterly overwhelmed

Spent the entire day yesterday crying.  Called a "crisis line" of my doctor yesterday that was the most bizarre twilight zone experience of all. College age woman who thought I was calling a friend at the facility who then finally said "how can I help you?"  I start crying.  I try to tell her and she wants to know when my next dr appt is and I don't know and she never asked anything else - just said that I should call next week and make an appointment maybe to see my doc.  I think it was some facility somewhere and then untrained people just take messages???   I don't know. It sounds so cliche but it was like that old joke of calling the suicide hotline and being put on hold.  I thought that was a joke. I hung up feeling even worse and even more alone.  They have no idea how much guts and humiliation it took for me to even call.

And this is a million dollar statewide behavioral health center.  So if they can't help me - maybe no one can.  I just feel like giving up.  I'm so tired.  If one more person tells me "you're such a strong woman" I am going to crawl under a rock.

Go up this morning crying.

I kee googling "how to know when to Check into a mental unit" and that elicited a variety of information that was not at all helpful.  

I don't know who else to ask and I'm not going to call any hotlines again.

No I don't want to kill myself.  But I feel like I've completely lost it.  I am embarrassed to death and I don't want to have it in my health record.   HIPAA be damned they all know everything.  Forget ever getting a life insurance policy again.  

But I'm having the worst time of my life trying to hold it together and I don't know what else to do.  

So I'm sitting here typing this message.  Man I feel like such a loser.  

[YayaMommie]

Thanks to all of you.  You guys are so encouraging.  I appreciate it.

[HVAC]

Yayamommie,
  I am so happy to hear it helped. We were worried about you. You will still have struggles but the first step is asking for help.

Alex

[bbassel]

You truly are an inspiration! I was worried about you as I am positive everyone else here was. Thanks so much for the update and you are so strong and courageous!

All the best

Barb xo

[supermum_ms]

I am so incredibly proud of you for seeking help, even found a supportive friend which is wonderful to hear.....thank you for letting us know how you are doing, we'll be here for you if you need us, so don't be a stranger, remember we are in this together!

Hugs......JJ

[Corriel]

I am so glad that you were able to get some help and that you have a new friend to support you.

Many hugs,

Corrie

[immisceo]

This is huge news. You should be very proud of yourself. It's the start of a process, but making that start is so often the hardest part. And support means so much. We're not adrift going through this on our own. I'm so, so glad you've found some.

[YayaMommie]

Hi everyone.  I did take myself to the ER.  I had a complete meltdown when I forgot the password to unlock my phone.  It was helpful.  I've been released and made a friend while there.  We meet for lunch to just show support to each other.  

I'm still struggling with this thing but I am coping much better.

Thank you all for your encouragement.  It was your comments that pushed me to go to the ER.  I can't thank you enough.  I've gotten some more support and it's been very helpful.

[firerescue9]

Have to agree with other on this, ER is the best option.  I hope you are ok...
You are in my prayers.  
Leanne

[bbassel]

I am also pulling for you! If anything I understand the horror of this disease. I too have beenn robbed of so much very quickly and it can be overwhelming at times. Take care of yourself!
Alll the best

Barbb

[HVAC]

YM,
   Worried about you. Are you Okay?

Alex

[shannon_xray]

These ladies know their stuff, I hope you took their advice!  I will remember you in my prayers.  I can't imagine MS plus all that too!  

Major giant hugs!
Shannon

[supermum_ms]

HUGS........I'm so sorry your dealing with with all this, i'd be happy to listen if you feel comfortable PMing me. I'm in Australia and our system is very different to yours, i would recommend you consider contacting via phone or in person your local church, GP, family member or close friend NOW!!

Below are USA crisis support options, that may be of some help:

http://www.contact-usa.org/crisischat.html

"When you dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255), you are calling the crisis center in the Lifeline network closest to your location. After you call, you will hear a message saying you have reached the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You will hear hold music while your call is being routed. You will be helped by a skilled, trained crisis worker who will listen to your problems and will tell you about mental health services in your area. Your call is confidential and free."
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

http://us.reachout.com/get-help/finding-people-to-help-and-support-you/help-and-support-for-mental-health

http://www.griefnet.org/resources/suicide.html

http://crisisclinic.org/find-help/crisis-line/

Talk to us, we are here and willing to help if we can....

HUGS...........JJ

[savvycs]

The MS diagnosis alone is so overwhelming.  The stress and anxiety you are enduring requires quick medical intervention. There is too much negativity going on in your life right now. I too suggest you get to an ER if your GP is not readily available.  Many of us have been to hell and back so feel free to reach out as needed. Let us know how it goes and keep us posted. We are all pulling for you.  

Gina

[HVAC]

Yayamommie,
   How are you? I hope you have pushed for help. With our under funded, crowded mental health system it is hard to get help. Even the ER often turns people away do to over crowding in hospitals. I was really depressed when I was diagnosed. Luckily I had a great doctor. I called him every day just to check in. Just that helped me knowing someone cared.

I have felt overwhelmed and despondent many times. You have too much on your plate. I would want to run away if I were you. I have spent enough times in mental hospitals. I was in for six months, one month, three months, and three days. I have not been in one since the 90's.At the time they were the right places to be.

I now take anti anxiety and anti depressants. I went to a therapist for 5 years after being diagnosed with MS.

The sad part is it is hard to get the help you need. You have to keep pushing until someone helps. It is sad it has to be that way.

Hang in there

Alex

[immisceo]

Where are you living? Depending on your state (if you're in the States) and the funding they have for these services, you may not have to claim you'll harm yourself. But I agree with Alex that ER might be a good "FOR GOD'S SAKE, LISTEN TO ME" option. You're reeling from a lot of upheaval and stress and you need to be able to get the help you need, and quickly. Do you have a GP you trust who can see you quickly and refer you to a unit? Sometimes this can speed things along.

Again, all of this can really depend on where you are. I've dealt with mental health services in three countries and two languages, so I know the good, the bad, and the indifferent. I know that head space you're in and it is absolutely appropriate for you to do what you need to get into the right facility.

[HVAC]

Get help any way you can. If you have to go to the ER. To get hospitalized you will have to say you want to harm yourself. But if you are on the brink get help.

Alex