How are you today? AGAIN??

[hideyourcrazy]

How do you answer those caring people who keep asking how you're doing, feeling or are you better? My son suggested using the color system that the government is using for terror attacks. I can see the validity!!

[essdipity]

I agree that if someone asks how you are and you think it's not just being polite but real concern, it's still best to give just a short answer. Maybe 'Not great yesterday but better today,' or whatever is reasonably accurate. Then changing the subject quickly works very well. I've tried that often with great success, and I don't think people realize I've done it deliberately.

ess

[Sailorsong]

My answer to this question is just I've had better days. If they really want to know how  I am they will ask what is wrong. Otherwise the conversation just continues on to other things.

Dennis

[summerluvr]

sorry for the typos

[summerluvr]

HVAC pretty much summed up my feelings on this.  People how are you  don't really want to hear about the details, it just a common greeting in many cases. Unless it is a close friends, or people who are involved in the (in my case) myeloma community.

I read on my Myeloma board a good way to address this question is to give a short answe and then redirect towards anothe topic...

My heath is stable these days, thankyou.  Have you been following the____ lately (insert current even new story, sports team, et

Unless you really want to talk about your health, but it gets really repetitive sometime.

Sometimes I just say:  I am in remission now and feeling well thank you.  l then I bring up something current in my life that is not health related, ie. I recently went on a much needed vacation to Mexico! so it gives people something else to talk about with you

[essdipity]

How 'bout using the doomsday clock? You know, 5 minutes to doom, 4 minutes, etc.

I agree--the vast majority of people don't really want to know how we are. I was just at the drug store buying some Mucinex DM, doctor's orders, because I have yet another bronchial infection. I feel lousy. But when the young clerk guy asked how I am today, I responded with a standard and cheery 'Just fine, thanks.' And that's how it should be. The usual courtesies help make life more civilized, but we shouldn't mistake them for real concern.

Even with MS, I almost always play it down to everyone. One exception is my sister, who does want to know. But of course she doesn't really get it, because, as is being discussed in another thread, only MSers get other MSers. That's why this forum is pretty much my whole support system. Yet at the same time I realize how much worse it could be (Annette Funicello, etc.), and that puts my relatively puny complaints in perspective.

Nobody gets through life unscathed, and we have no idea what the people we encounter may be going through. That's why I do try not to sweat the small stuff.

Besides, I have just one or two teensy weensy character flaws myself, difficult though that may be to imagine ;-)  As the saying goes, I have a lot to be humble about.

ess

[dogmum]

I've been wondering how to deal with this exact thing lately as well.  Seems my family doesn't know what to say to me right now if it's not asking that same question over and over.  Funny enough, unless I say that I'm fine and change the subject, they usually don't have anything to say other than changing the subject themselves.  I'm hoping it's just an awkward stage that we'll get through soon.

I love that quote, twopack.  I think I'm going to borrow it if you don't mind.  :)

Laura

[PastorDan]

Amen to ALex.  Again.

I like the DEFCON and the alert code ideas, though.  I'll give those a liottle thought!

[HVAC]

People just do not know what to say. I have MS and Stage III Cancer and people just tell me how great I look no matter what. What else can they say? People except good friends do not want to know how I am. Even Doctors do not want to know. I have a therapist who specializes in Chronic illness. I tell her how I am. Yes we all want validation, this is real. We validate each other. Unless you have these diseases you do not understand.

Alex

[twopack]

If I think they really want to know I'll answer honestly but briefly - one or two word briefly.  

If it's someone who I believe truly cares I might ask if there's something specific they want to know about.

Otherwise it doesn't really matter.  Many people ask out of habit or to be polite.  They really just want to move on.

Funny though - I just added an Eeyore quote to my status.
“When someone says How-do-you-do, just say you didn't.”

[immisceo]

I sometimes cheekily answer with a DEFCON classification, but I think your son's is even better!