I am beyond depressed. My sweet little Kia, died in my hands, on February 28th, at 6:22 a.m. Her death was sudden, and unecessary. She was fine, until Wednesday, 2/27. That morning, she refused her breakfast. Since she only weighed 4#s, I gave her Nutri-Cal, and her nose seemed stuffed up, so I gave her 1/2 t. of CVS Children's dye-free, alcohol-free, allergy med. (Less than half the amount my Vet always said to give her.)
I had an appt. with my MS Specialist at 11:00 that Wednesday. I offered her another fresh meal, at 10:00. Again, she refused to eat. More Nutri-Cal.
We were gone approx. 2 & 1/2 hours. As soon as we got home, I offered her another fresh meal. She refused it. More Nutri-Cal, and another 1/2 t. of the allergy med.
She was breathing, through her mouth, but not gasping for air.
I put a call in to my Vets office, and spoke to one of the newer receptionists. I explained that Steve (my Vet) needed to see her, she was very tiny, refusing to eat, nose stuffy, etc.
In the 16 & 1/2 years, that he has been our Vet, I have always gotten an immediate call back to bring the girls into the office, immediately.
Steve didn't call me until 7:40 in the evening, after he finished seeing patients, and he wasn't concerned, een when I told him that her temp was down to 96.3. He said it sounded like an infected tooth, and if the allergy med didn't relieve her stuffy nose, to bring her into the office in the morning, said he was off on Thursdays, but "one of the girls" would take care of us.
For 16 & 1/2 years, from the time Sydney was 6 months old, I trusted him. And he never told me to wait. We always agreed, tiny Yorkies need to be seen immediately,they go down fast, but with treatment, they bounce back fast.
So, I trusted him that evening.
And my sweet baby died in my hands, the next morning, as I promised her that we were going to the Vets that morning, and she was going to be fine.
She died, exactly 2 years to the date, that Sydney died.
Her death was unecessary. The day after she died, he called, and said, "It sounds like it was something in her lungs, and even if you had brought her here, or taken her to the Emergency Clinic, and spent $1,000., we might not have found out what was wrong".
I am beyond depressed. I can't get dressed. I can't leave the house. I failed my sweet little Kia, by trusting my Vet.
I am so lost without her. And I feel so much guilt, knowing, that if I hadn't listened to my Vet, and I had just taken her to the Emergency Clinic, she would more than likely still be with me.
I spoke with the Vet that took care of us, when we took Kia's tiny body to be creamted, and she was very upset that our Vet did not call me until after he finished seeing patients, and even then, did not have us bring her into the office then.
She lost her two Maltese, two weeks apart, so she knows that tiny dogs need to be seen as soon as they show a 1st symptom.
Oh Sheila, I am so sorry for what you're going through. Kia was a beautiful girl. I know it's tough not to second guess that night. But we can drive ourselves mad with those thoughts. I wish I could offer you some sage advice. I'm just so sorry.
I am so sorry about losing Kia - I know she was a constant companion and source of comfort and joy for you. I am really worried about you, now. Your health is such a struggle and by your own admission the depression and sadness has immobilized you.
Please, Sheila, go see your doctor and start treatment for this. You might benefit from talk therapy - you could call the MS Ambassadors at NMSS and ask for a referral through them You might even be able to talk to someone by phone.
You can't allow yourself to continue shouldering the guilt - as DV said, you can be consumed by it. Again, I'm so sorry about Kia - I'm glad you had such joy from having her in your life. I don't think Kia would want you to suffer like this.
Thank you. I miss my little one so much. I lost Sydney exactly two years to the date, that I lost Kia.
When I saw my MS Specialist in February, I told her that I was feeling very overwhelmed and depressed, And this was the day, before my little Kia died.
(There have been so many things happening-the many tests leading up to my diagnosis of Lymphoctytic colitis. And the hosptial billing dept. misfiled a ton of my insurance claims. Including one for pelvic floor therapy. I was told it was covered. We found out they mis-filed the claims, and now they are trying to tell my husband that we are supposed to know who covers PT. Last he talked to them, they said they were going to check and see if they were supposed to get it pre-approved If that isn't bad enough, my Tech had a different Tech do my therapy a number of times, and I didn't get the benefit of it, that I was getting with my regular Tech.)
She asked me if I would like a prescription and a referral to a therapist. I agreed. But she really hurt my feelings, as she was writing the prescription, she smiled at me and said, "And your problems are worse than everyone elses?" I was stunned. The anti-depressant only made my insomnia worse, and I decided not to see the therapist, because I can't take on any more medical bills.
Rich is retired, and BCBS doesn't cover my office calls. They increased our deductible again, so I am overwhelmed with paying towards my tests.
I know that Kia wouldn't want me to suffer this way. But I am so lonely without her and Sydney. They were the sweetest little Yorkies you could ever imagine, and the house is so empty without them.
I will have to get through the grief.....one day at a time.
I'm so very, very sorry for your loss of Kia, my heart aches:(
As you know my boy is so very tiny as well, and things get them quick, but like you say, they bounce back quick too.
I am glad however, that she passed w/her mama. You did what you could, this was out of your control love. Take your time to mourn, and know our heart is with you. You'll smile again when your sweet memories remind you of the good years you had with those darlings :)
Yes, I know your boy is tiny & we both know how quickly they can go down, but bounce right back with immediate treatment.
I wish I believed it was out of my control, but I've spoken with another Vet in the Clinic, and she felt that my Vet should have seen her immediately, and she didn't understand, why, he didn't return my call, until 7:40 in the evening.
We both felt she needed immediate treatment.
So, losing my sweet baby, was so unneccessary.
It's been 9 weeks tomorrow, and I still can't get dressed.
I am so sorry for your loss!! May 14th will be one year since our sweet Chloe died in my arms after I tried giving her CPR. I, too, was brushed off my a vet we trusted.
Chloe was a Shih-tzu/Dashaud mix and was a tiny one, though overweight was healthy for her age, and would run through the yard chasing squirrels up to the day before she died.
She was restless the night before and panted for a while so I suspected pulmonary edema and when we rushed her to another nearby clinic (the ER clinc was closed)with her limp in my arms but having agnonal breaths. They tried vainly to revive her but it was too late. I was holding her when she took hr last breath.
It still causes a flood of tears almost a year later.
My condolences and sympathies are with you on your loss. Please do follow up on some help with the grieving process. Even though you're housebound you can still find caregivers who can do talk therapy via telephone (with some research and an explanation of your health isues, I know of 2 friends who found such help).
It was so sudden, and so fast. One day she was perfectly fine, the next, she had symptoms that needed to be checked,and the following morning, she I held her in my hands, and she looked into my eyes, took, one, small breath, and she was gone.
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