UK2

[EL18]

Hi Samantha, sorry our posts went to the next page so I didn't see your reply until today.

I'm really sorry you're going through it at the moment.  But I wouldn't read too much into the fact that you are going to have to wait for the results.  When I had my first MRI done and they thought it was a prolapsed disc, when it wasn't, I was sent on my way and waited for a few weeks to see the neuroloigst.  I thought because I was told they didn't find what they were looking for, that nothing was wrong.  I actually remember talking to the dr  saying, well there must be something, I'm not mad you know, my leg hasn't gone numb for no reason.  She never said anything, just smiled. However, when I went to the neurologist he went through the mri and showed me there were lesions on my spine.  I was really quite shocked, actually quiet relieved as I then knew I wasn't mad but confused as to why the other dr had said nothing.  I guess I needed to wait though as the neurologist was the best person to look at the mri thoroughly.

Thanks for your thoughts about my 'mum' situation. I'm sorry to here about your mum and dad.  I feel really guilty now for moaning, I should be grateful, which I am for their support and concern but like you said about your parnets in law, it's nice to be pampared sometimes, but other times it's just good to feel and be treated as normal. I did try to call my mum and I've texted her but she's ignoring me at the moment.  I do feel awful as they have just moved up to be near me about 6 weeks ago.  The move really was because my dad has parkinsons and they wanted to be closer to family but the tables have been turned really at the moment.  I've talked to my big brother about it and he says I just need to give her time.  I know he is right but she will sulk forever unless I make the first move, but that's almost like admitting I was wrong and I know I'm not...I know my own mind and know what I need right now.  I just wish they would respect that, that's all.  Moan, moan, moan....that's all I ever do...he he!!

I really hope you're feeling a bit brighter today.  I can only imagine how tired you must get with your children but I also hope they can take your mind of things for a bit until you get your results. If they are anything like me and my 6 brothers and sisters were like...you won't be getting any peace.  We were always fighting, I still have the scares to prove it and my sister still has 3 very odd shaped broken fingers....wonder how she got them...he he. In my defence I was the youngest so I had to stand my ground...she's forgiven me now.

It's really good to talk to you and also really good to compare notes on the great British NHS. Do stay in touch and I'm here anytime if you want to scream, talk, let off steam or have a laugh.

Take care

Em

[uk2]

Gosh you really did give it to your sister but sounds like you had to take alot from your brothers too!!
Maybe being an only child had its advantages after all!

My kids are normal then the way they fight all the time LOL does wear me down though ok at mo though as just dropped the eldest off for a sleepover so the other two are getting on fine now, another round of questions of "how are you doing" "your walking better" "you look so well" i just nod (cant be bothered to tell them about the all the stabbing pains numbness thats going on right at the miniute while im talking to them or the fact i feel like im on a moving bus and feel like swaying like a drunk person ( gosh i sound bitter dont i) i am thankfull that the spasm have stoped and that i seem stronger and i know they want to be encouraging but its so hard even my best friend does not understand though she really wants to but you cant understand how this feels unless you have or are going through it.

But there is only one way through that like you said keep smiling being positive brings you through it we all have are venting days and are down days but if on the whole we keep positive i think it helps.

I can see how your mum would be bitter my mum and dad were they had come to a time in there life when they wanted to enjoy things but they had hospital appointments and this shadow of cancer always over them and i was bitter when i lost them its only since i have found my faith that things on that side improved for me i have the big boss upstairs to chat to now LOL and this forum which is wonderfull getting to know wonderfull people like yourself has been so nice.

Thanks for your advise about my daughter and saying those things about me i hope i am a good mum and she will turn out good. She is a lovley girl underneath she just has alot of anger which she vents at me and her sisters.

See if your mum will open up to you about how she is feeling she might be scared first your dad gets ill then you, plus she prob had plans for her retirment things they were going to do together she could ber almost grieving for a life she has now lost and adjusting to a new one of uncertainty, i used to work as a support worker in the community and i worked with people with ms,parkinsons,alezemeirs,picks disease and there are carer groups out there for your mum where she can meet and get out there is also councilling groups out there too and i dont know how old or how bad your dad is but there are groups he can go to too so he can get out and about your dc would know about these. It might help her get involved in things again.

Im sure when the time is right you and rob will have a wonderfull family but for now you can just enjoy each other thats one of the things i miss the most is that alone time as a couple i did not plan my prenacies well and never seem to have that special time with my first husaband i was young and could not wait to have kids and with my second i already had kids then fell accidently with my third when my second was only seven months that was hard work!!

Take Care

Samantha

[EL18]

You haven't bored me at all...it's good to talk and really nice to get to know you.

I'm actually the baby of 7, so I have 6 other brothers and sisters. I broke her fingers by jumping on her whilst playing with our neighbour's children....revenge is sweet.  I jumped on her, she said, I think you've broken my fingers, so I jumped on her some more just to make sure....I was only about 7 at the time...boy did I get smacked for that one. We are the best of friends now though.  She lives in Northampton so I don't see her as much as I'd like to...now we are not pulling each others hair out...I still have the bad patch to prove it.  I have a bald patch about 2cm long where she ripped it out...as we tubbled down the stairs fighting. We laugh about it now. One of my brothers used to practice karate on me and another one used to lock me in the garage and through stink bombs in at me.....believe me, being an only child would have been great sometimes.  We all get on ok now but I got my revenge in my own way...I'm about 5 inches taller than my brothers...he he, they hate it.

I don't know much about bi-polar. But I'm sure if your daughter is as strong and thoughtufl as her mum, she'll do ok.

Rob and I were hoping to try for a family round about now but with all this going on, don't think that's going to happen soon.

I will take your advice and try, again, to ring my mum tonight. I think there is more to all this though.  My mum was always so energetic and worked full time, until she retired  some years ago to look after my dad, she was always sorrunded by people.  I think she gets frustrated with my dad sometimes as he is just so slow these days and doesn't talk much.  She's always been a  really talkative person and rushes everywhere at 100mph, so I think she almost feels bitter about what has happened.  I think I would to, you work all your life then come to retirement and bham...parkinsons. I do worry about her, she seems to get really angry these days and won't let things go.  She has almost become quite nasty at times, like she won't let things go.  I was hoping the move might have given them a new lease of life, for my dad it has but my mum just seems to dwell on things and the past.  She also takes everything personally and won't take advice when she asks for it as she thinks we are picking on her, we're not, we're just trying to help her but we can't if she won't help herself.

I'm probably making no sense at all but it kind of puts things into perspective I guess.

Thanks for everything

Take care and more importantly try to keep smiling....we'll get through this.

Em

[uk2]

I do miss my parents i was very close as i was an only child i moved close to them after she got breast cancer she carried on for four years before she died she saw me marry my first husband and seen the birth of my first child before she died in 1999 and my dad seen the birth of my second child the break down of my first marriage and met my now husband (we were only friends then) before he died while i was on holiday with my friend in early 2001.

I would not feel bad about moaning about your parents i moaned alot about mine and i loved them to bits!!

Its sometimes hard to make the first move after arguments i know that when i argue with my husband (not that that happens too often) but i have learnt even if i am right that not being the first to make the move leaves things to go on forever and that sometimes being right does not mean everything life is too short so approching the person is the best way to move forward from things i think your right to contact your mum im sure she will come round soon!!

Same here im always here if you need anyone to talk to or moan and never feel bad for moaning thats what this forum is all about sometimes.

It is so great to talk to another uk person in limbo land on the nhs.

Kids are keeping me busy climbing over me a miniute ago cause one of them hit the other!! LOL i dont get this sibling thing being a only child i dreamed of having sisters and playing with them!!

My two oldest fight the most they are so like my first husband hot tempered LOL I do worry about them sometime cause my eldest ( 9) gets very down about her dad who she nevers sees her anymore and he had bi-polar disorder and i know that can get passed down in genes.

Anyway now i have bored you with my life story HA HA ill go.

Keep in touch

ps id love to hear the story about how you broke your sister fingers must of been great growing up one of 6.
Samantha