I offended someone?

[Hope75]

I would never, ever want to offend or hurt my fellow forum members.  I am on here to hopefully help others while I am trying to help myself.  I got a message from one of your members and she was very unhappy with me.  I can't deal with drama, so my first inclination was to just not respond.  But, it is important for me to clear up any wrong interpretations of a statement I made with any that I have offended and didn't want to send me a message.  I am in chronic pain, and I mean really chronic.  Every day, I am in pain.  I have been diagnosed with idiopathic peripepheral neuropathy.  I have been battling a few medical professionals for two years to get the tests that I needed and to not be dismissed as "making the pain up in my head."  My first neuro gave up after one MRI that showed one lesion (quoted " could be MS plaque" on the report) and I had a normal LP and normal NCS.  So, I am a medical professional and I thought I could show up in my scrubs and this cranky little man may listen to at least a full sentence from me if he realized I was a medical professional.  I was trying to pull any card that would help me, and if that card had to be my medical credentials, then you better believe I am going to pull it!  This man gave up on me and Dx'd me with Fibromyalgia and sent me to a pain clinic.  He would not order an MRI for 6 months or an LP or any follow-up.  I was ready and willing to get answers.  Begrudgingly, after firing that neuro and getting an appt. with a new one,  I went to the pain clinic as it had a wonderful reputation.  The doc there was great, he said you sound like classic idiopathic PN.  I expressed that I absolutely did not want opiod painkillers.  He agreed that I was on the right path and to continue with the new neuro.  My new neuro set me up with an MRI of brain AND spine (unlike the other doc) and an LP.  Thank you God.  Somebody is listening.  That was all negative, except the same lesion.

So back to the drama, the quote she was offended over simply meant this:  I have credentials after my name and the first guy didn't give a hoot, so I can't imagine if I DIDN'T have credentials - he probably would have committed me or something for "making up" that I have painful burning neuropathy.  He was just a jerk and I tried to pull out all the stops to get him to respect me.  For some jerks, credentials do make them listen, when ANY human being should be treated the same.  His diagnosis of Fibro was to get me out of his hair.  Fibro is a real and painful constellation of symptoms, but it doesn't fit me.  I have been discriminated against because of my history of panic/anxiety disorder despite that fact that I have what some would consider an "in" among doctors - that my friends, was the point.  

Take care and I wish you all well.

[Quixotic1]

MedHelp is adamant that we not air ANYTHING that happens in the PM area.  Even if we just refer to bad stuff.  So, let's stop this here and let it be.  If the thread disappears, then that is why.

[wishforchange]

I wasn't going to respond to more posts as was intending a break but feel I need to offer you support.  I came to this forum after some particularly hurtful comments were made to me elsewhere on the site.   I have also had to block someone from hurtful comments in my messaging system.  You are absolutely right when you talk about how careful we have to be here regarding each other's feelings.  Especially this being a forum dealing with neurological issues - we have most if not all of us had terrible experiences with health professionals who have humiliated and misunderstood us.  For me I found here a group of people who offered unconditional acceptance of all I was going through.  Someone here pointed out that this being a public forum ultimately we have no control over who responds or how, but there has to date been as far as I can tell something special here in that we are not open to this sort of abuse generally.  You have enough to deal with in life without online bullying of any type.  With me I blocked the abusive messanger from further posts and when they attempted to then contact me by other means reported them to the moderators.  Maybe you wish to consider this?  People here can of course also sign up under more than one name, but you can usually tell if it is the same person by the style of language etc.  I just hope it is not one of the regulars here, if so then maybe it is worth talking to them privately, as they may just have been having a bad day.  I settled here because of the amazing love and support I got (although I am taking a break from next week).  We all enjoy this support, and that you have been made to feel unwelcome should not happen.  Of course anyone is free to express themselves, but there does seem to be an unwritten agreement here that we do not criticize thoughtlessly.  We are all here very sensitive to this in out journies to diagnosis and it is wrong for us to continue the hurt here.  Don't upset yourself over this, you have more important issues to deal with.

[wonko]

Please don't worry about it.  If it helps put it in perspective, just keep in mind that a lot of us here are VERY sensitive to criticism, as a lot of us have had doctors, friends, and even family not support us or understand what we are going through.

I am sure you did not mean anything negative, you are simply scared and confused, and looking for some much needed support from the group!  That is how a lot of us wash up upon these shores.

What makes this group both special and intimidating is how close knit it is.  Please give it another chance, based on your history I think you'll find a lot of people here that can relate to your experiences, and hopefully you can also benefit from the advice and information.

Take care!

[Momzilla]

Yes, sorry you felt the need to explain youself in this way.  

Perhaps someone was having a bad moment and took it the wrong way.  

Please, as Heather said, don't let this keep you from posting.

Feel well,

Momzilla*

[Hope75]

I can't thank you enough.  I am not about giving out the poster's name, because that would be uncalled for as well.  It was a quick judgement on her part and just a misunderstanding.

On that note I think that it is important that on any forum, posters should do their homework on another poster that may have rubbed them the wrong way before sending a slap on the wrist like I received:(  They may find their answers in your other posts.  When posting or emailing, it is easy to project one thing when you really mean another.  When you meet someone face to face, you have body language, etc. that helps you understand the person.

Take care and I will be staying here for the wonderful support I am receiving and hopefully the support that I can give to others.  

[Heather3418]

I apologize to you, for whomever sent you a message about being mad at you.  I am most surprised that it was one of OUR Forum members.

You have my apologies for that kind of treament and I am sure other members will agree that such a message is uncalled for.

Don't let that keep you from posting, please.  We learn something from every post.

All the Best,
Heather