Rena's Post about dealing with the outside world...

[Heather3418]

Rena's post about 'dealing with the outside world,' was a fantastic discussion and I believe something we can all identify with.  Peoples misunderstanding of what it's like for a person with disabilities.  How we can sometimes be shunned by the people we thought were friends.  How we can be stared at, when we are out in public, if we happen to walk with the aid of a cane or a walker.

When I was diagnosed with MS so many years ago, I suddenly looked around and found that there were many "friends," missing from my life, that HAD been there before my diagnosis.  It hurt and it hurt me deeply.  I realized that is was THEIR ignorance and misunderstanding of this disease, that drove them out of my life.  Many would say that I am better off without "friends" like that.

Rena has taught us alot about how to deal with such "friends."  Her discussion and comments were invaluable.  Rena dear, you handled it all like a tropper....as always!  I know it hurt you, but hopefully you felt the love of REAL friends, such as you have on this forum.

Rena's post brought out healthly discussion.  It also showed what I have said all along...this group is the finest on the Internet and deeply devoted.  I am proud to say that I am a member of the MedHelp MS Forum.  I know that many of you are, also...

Thank you Rena.  Stay strong girl.  You've come through this like the champ that you are....

BIG (((HUGS))))
Heather

[tmjfibro]

I  TOTALLY AGREE THAT WE HAVE TO EMPOWER OURSELVES TOLET PEOPLE KNOW THE OBSTICLES AND CHALLANGES WE FACE DAILY .I AM STILL IN LIMBO LAND WITH A DX ,BUT I KNOW FIRST HAND HOW PEOPLE TREAT YOU WITH A DISABILTY .I HAVE ALWAYS USED THE SAME SHOP FOR YEARS .THE PEOPLE IN THERE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN POLITE A ND HELPFUL AS I USE A CANE TO WALK .I RECENTLY HAD A BAD FLARE UP WITH MY FIBROMYALGIA  AND HAD TO USE W/C .THE REACTION FROM PEOPLE I HAD SPOKEN TO FOR YEARS WAS UNBELIEVABLE .I HAD SUDDENLY BECOME INVISABLE AND DEAF .THEY SPOKE OVER MY HEAD AS  IF I WAS NT THERE  .OR SPOKE TO ME LIKE A CHILD .MY REPLY WAS I AM DISABLED NOT STUPID .I HAVE SINCE REFUSED TO BE AROUND PEOPLE WHO CANT TREAT ME WITH GOOD MANNERS ,AS THEY COST NOTHING .TO BE POLITE AND NICE TO SOMEONE

HUGS TMJ

[Rena705]

I only hope that this will be a subject that will be spoken about more so that we can help others deals with similar situations.

People with the disabilities need to move on with dignity and the people which cause the problem need to have an education as to how they really have not dealt with the situation in a dignified manner.

Some people will say that it is not worth the time and effort to go back and let these "friends" know how their actions have affected us and yes in some situations I agree (but usually those people were probably not worth calling a friend to begin with).  However, if we don't start small with a few, we won't start at all, to educate others as to what people with disabilities have to deal with and the power that the disabled have to change people's attitudes if given the chance.

I believe that we can continue to EMPOWER OURSELVES towards spreading the knowledge of some of the obstacles that we face, to those without disabilities.  It is through knowledge that they will gain the power to treat us as equals and others will hopefully not have to deal with a situation such as the one I went through on the weekend.  My husband and I have made a "date" with the people I was speaking of and we are going to tell them what I laid out to you in my last post.  I am going to let you know what the conclusion is to this situation tomorrow...I am hoping that we will see a lightbulb go on over their heads and if not...we will wish them all the best and WE WILL simply move on to a happier life without being surrounded by ignorance!  

Lots of Hugs,

Rena