Twitches or ticks?

[quillswriting]

I have a bit of a strange question - I haven't been online for a while, trying to deal with what is going on with me and no closer to finding out what.  The GP still has not arranged for the neuro appt.  In the mean time, I'm still getting the same things, a few new things have occured.

Recently I was having trouble with my speech and my typing, when I talked it was like someone else was talking, it is so weird but i could not feel myself talking, I could hear it, but it was some kind of depersonalised feeling.  Also, I am struggling to type the correct keys now - I get some kind of carpal tunnel symptoms from typing fast, I normally type 80wpm with little mistakes, at the moment I am making lots of mistakes when I type, hitting the wrong keys, this is someone who can touch type.  Some days I am ok and other days I really struggle.

The other night it felt like my tongue was spasming a little when I spoke, causing me to stammer.

I have also been getting a twitch in the back of my neck.  Usually when I go to turn my head it happens.  I do notice that when I am angry or anxious it does it more often than normal, but sometimes it can happen out of nowhere.  But I get lots of them in a row when I am anxious or angry.  Sometimes I get it when I go to take a sip of my drink.  It is scary.  I've had the twitch in the back of my neck for years.  It would usually happen maybe once a month or so but now it is almost every day.  In two weeks I think I have had two days where it has not happened, three days where it has happened once that day, and the rest of the time it has been happening lots, mostly in the evenings.

I'm getting such random things.  Recently, like a few days ago I started getting red fingertips, they're red all the time.  It looks like raynaud's in a way because when I am cold they go darker like purpley colour but usually they're dark pink.  I get one hand colder than the other all day too.

I had none of this before I had my baby!  I did have paresthesias etc... before the baby but not during the pregnancy.  The cardiovascular symptoms came on after the birth, as did the visual disturbances which began on the day I gave birth.  I have had a number of examinations, I had a neurological basic exam by a GP (balance, looked into my eyes, checked my ears, told me to touch my nose etc...) and all looked perfect.  I have also noticed that my pupils which were uneven stopped being uneven for a few days, then today, I was getting my hair cut and when my hair was over my eye, that pupil got bigger.  I do tend to wear my hair to one side so it MAY be caused by my hair, the GP did suggest that may be the cause.  I have been wearing my hair back for a few days and my pupils looked fine.  

I am getting all sorts of sensations though which are scary, I'm holding on to each day waiting for the neuro appt.  I haven't been out of the house for 3 weeks now, just concentrating on my job (I work from home).  

My mother said she had similar problems to me all her life from her 30's onwards.  She was never diagnosed with MS, she was told that she had Ankylosing Spondilitis which became apparent years after a car accident, however, one GP thought she may have MS and suggested she had an MRI but she refused it.

A close friend of mine's mother has MS also and we talked the other night, she thinks I may have it, that or CFS.  I know what does scare me and I try not to think about it, my mind is all over the place with what it could be.  

Is there any free online counselling available where I could write to about these symptoms and the emotional state it is getting me in?  I have asked my GP for a counsellor and again, I'm on a waiting list, I've been told it will be about 18 months before I get a counsellor through the NHS round here.  (UK)

[Momzilla]

I wonder if you're familiar with the Alice in Wonderland type aura symptoms.  They can include depersonalization and multitude neuro symptoms.  When I began having strange symptoms two years ago, this was my first diagnosis.  I'm not saying quills has this, but it may explain the depersonalization in combination with neuro symptoms perhaps exacerbated by the anxiety one would expect by the frustration she would have having to wait insufferably for proper care. (I am so sorry you are kept waiting so long, quills, and I don't mean to talk as if you're not here!  Not trying to be rude!)

Quills, you sure do have lots of different symptoms, and I do hope they get to the bottom of all of this and soon.  I think Quix is right about not waiting the 18 months and just sharing with someone right now.  There have to be resources for you.

I haven't read all your posts, so I don't know how the depersonalization would fit in with the big picture, but I wanted to throw that in, for whatever it's worth.  I sure hope you feel well, and of course, will defer to our Good Doctor!

I hope both of you are feeling well!

Chris*

[quillswriting]

Hi Quix,

I did see the psychiatrist and he said my problems were more linked with CFS or something neurological.  

I am so confused at the moment.  I'm still waiting for the neuro appt.  

I was going to ask - sounds silly, my fingertips are dark red and have been for two days.  Sometimes they're pink and other times they go purply red.  

I think this whole wondering what is going on is starting to drive me mad!  

I DID have an episode of tachycardia this morning, and I noticed what brought it on too, it felt almost like a panic attack, but all I felt was the butterflies in my belly accompanied by tension, but nothing else, my breathing was normal, just the butterflies then I noticed the heart rate was way up.

I think the red fingers is something to do with circulation.  I've had lots of palps all day, where as two days ago I was fine.

I notice that my fingertips are only red if I have been typing, or if I lean on something the area goes really red, like the blood rushes to the surface of my skin where I have been pressing on.  

The depersonalization thing, I get it a lot at the moment, only started getting it about a week ago.  Is that psychological?  I have heard it CAN be.  

I really appreciate your help though, I feel trapped with this "thing" that I have which i can't explain.  One GP recently joked they may have to name a syndrome after me if they can't find the cause, he then laughed, but it is so upsetting.  I just want to be normal again and be looking after my baby properly.

[Quixotic1]

Hi, there!  I don't think you saw my note to you on the other forum.  Glad to see you back here.  I'm really sorry about the way you're feeling.  It's incredible that a wait to see a counselor is 18 months!!  That's useless.  Is there anyone you could talk to at your church?  I don't know about any on-line thing except there are other anxiety forums only.  I've heard people talk about them and I've heard people say they got a lot of good out of them.  It's a matter of seeing which one's are most interactive.

From what you describe, it sounds like the thing in the back of your neck is a twitch.  If it is just a quick contraction of a muscle group, then it is a twitch or a fasciculation.  If it actually causes your head to move then it's a myoclonic jerk.  If it is repetitive and rhythmic then it may be a tremor.  I've been reading the Neurology forums now for a few months and it seems that any time the nervous system gets "out of whack" be it from a disease like MS, a viral infection, an injury or even severe anxiety, twitches can appear and hang around.  If people already had twitches, they get worse.  They seem to be very common after a common viral infection.

Honestly, I don't have a good idea about what is going on with your various symptoms.  As I read all your posts (and I do, here and on the other forums), the picture of all your symptoms does not "strike" me as MS.  I do think you overanalyze some things too much and worry about things which are actually quite common in healthy people (like unequal pupils and Raynaud's).  That makes it hard to evaluate your other symptoms.   It's frustrating because it seems that your medical care is fragmented and everything is so delayed.  Did you get the neuro appointment time yet?  I wish we could help more, but if need be we'll be here for friendship while you wait all this out.

How is your husband doing in getting the new business started?  Is that going okay?  I'm sure that's stressful.  And how is the little one doing?  How old is he now?

You feelings of not being present in your body  or "depersonalization" are worrisome.  Didn't you see a psychiatrist a while back?  Maybe you could write up a little note to him describing these feelings.  Did he prescribe something for the anxiety?

Stay with us, Quix

[quillswriting]

What I originally wanted to know is, would that be classed (the neck things) as a tick or something else?