OT: Stress - How do you deal with yours?

[cubbiesfan918]

Hey Everyone -

I have been absent as of late, with a couple of peeks here and there. The past month and a half has been the most stressful time of my life since the weeks leading up to the ON that led to my DX. I am completely concerned with the amount of stress I am currently under as I completely respect the implications of it all.

I lost my father very suddenly the day  before Valentines Day. In addition to handling my mom's affairs an hour away, I am also working  6 days a week,  parenting a 1 year old and have a husband in college. I am completely exhausted and on stress overload...............

What works for you guys during stressful times? I am consciously trying to not feel tense as I really want this to be the first year since 2008 hat my MS does not come out to play.

PS The 1 year anniversary of my Dx is Apr 1, which also means I've been lurking here a year! I appreciate all of the advice, knowledge, correspondence and friendships I have shared with many of you and can never thank you enough!

Always,
Lizzie

[cubbiesfan918]

Thank you all for your thoughts and advice! You all passed on great insight!

Happy Weekend!

[ghost39]

Things can only get better. Last year I got diagnosed with MS, was forced out of my job of 11 yrs, my beloved dog and guardian angel of 18 yrs died, and whilst away on holiday my house was burgled. I miss my dog every day, my grans treasured ring cannot be replaced, but I have a new job, 2 great kids and a loving husband. Its not what life throws at us, its how we deal with it that counts :)

[HVAC]

I write. I have a health coach who started me writing. In fact I am writing a book showing how I deal with stress.

I am into Mindfulness meditation a monk named Thicht Nhat Hahn. He helps me a lot in real simple language

I go to a therapist who Specializes in Chronic illness. She has taught me self hypnosis. If you start at a 5 you get to 10 really fast so you learn through calming to start at a say 2 then when you get upset you do not hit 10.

I spend time with my pets. I have my Service Dogs who are always with me. They keep me calmer. I can always stop and pet them if I am in a stressful situation like getting chemo. I have a great cat who I pet all the time when I am home.

I have to exercise. Walk the dog even if it is down the block.

Music calms me. I got an ipod for Xmas. I have songs which calm me down.

Peppermint candy. I love it and keep it with me.

The Serenity Prayer. God Grant Me the Serenity the accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdon to know the difference. I can't change anything but my attitude most of the time.

Telling myself "This to shall pass". No situation is forever.

My motto "True contentment comes from playing the hand you are dealt". Bill Wilson.

I have to be forgiving not just of others but to myself.

In traffic I let people in. That gives me power and then I am less stressed. Otherwise they are cutting me off and I get angry.

Talk to friends. I have lots of girl friends I talk to.

Realizing unless you are a brain surgeon or nuclear scientist if you screw up nobody really gets hurt so its okay.

Humor even black humor. I worked at an emergency vet and many animals who came through the doors did not walk out. We used humor to survive it. Plus we focused on the critters we did save and the happy families.

I have stage 4 Cancer and MS. I was a terribly abused kid. I have seen a lot of death. I was a very angry person. Now I am really happy most of the time.

There will always be stress.

Alex

[SarahL2491]

So sorry to hear about your dad.  Stress is my biggest problem!
I hope things work out for you, just take it slow and easy

[immisceo]

I randomly took it into my head to learn knitting in February. It's fast become my go-to destressor. It's portable, it's productive, it has a really satisfying rhythm. It takes my focus off of anything else, and I've kind of fallen in love with it.

[karryon55]

Hi Lizzie,

My sincere condolences for the loss of your father.

This all on it's own is a big stress but after reading what you have written I can see you have a lot to contend with. I think seeing a movie sounds great as well. Often the death of somebody makes us realise that life is short & to not just think about the fun things in life but to do the fun things in life.

Laughter is the one thing I always find beneficial. I also have a love of music which for me helps relieve some pain from my arthritis. If I'm anxious then exercise is definitely on my list even if it's just getting stuck into cleaning out a room or walking the dog.

Hugs,

Karry.

[cubbiesfan918]

Thanks so much DV and JJ :)

D V- I don't drink and have a special "no drinking because of bad days, only drinking because I'm happy" rule....I am going to take the weekend off with my family, watch basketball and hopefully be happy enough for beer tomorrow :) I took some Continuing Ed this week and had a hard test for my insurance license, I am only sure that added to my stress. I am feeling better at the moment, I think catching up on little things at home will be a great help.

I also think I'm going to go to the movies, I don't watch commercials so I never know what is out...... We took a family walk tonight and plan on soaking up as much Spring as possible. It was 75 today!

Thanks for listening ladies and for taking the time to respond.

XOXOXO's
Lizzie

[supermum_ms]

Big Hug Lizzie,

You've definitely had a rotten year and i am truly very sorry for your loss. I think everyone in your family, will understandably be under a lot of stress at the moment and to be feeling the chaos right along with you. I hope you are being close to your family, because sticking together and talking can really help share the love and minimise the mental and physical weight each of you are going through.  

It is always a good thing to be making sure you're also looking after your self, and to me a big part of that means having some 'me' time to decompress and recharge mental and physical batteries. I meditate, snooze when i need to and read good books but I am a people person through and through, and when i feel the chaos building I need to feel loved and love back, so i do a lot of hugging, family dinners/lunches etc

I'm the type of person who also needs to feel the blood pumping through my veins and have the natural high of adrenalin, so when i'm in need of a boost.... you'll often find me tootling down the highway with the top down on my convertible, some up beat music blaring and i'm singing my (out of tune) head off :D or you'll find me bopping and weaving to music whilst dragging the vacuum around the house or doing some other thankless house hold chore.

I'm a big believer in the mental health benefits of laughter, I've always laughed my way through life, i'm not sure why that is exactly but i do know it's helped me keep a healthy head space and humour seems to work with my son too. Not my kettle of fish but he loves watching funny utube clips and being silly with me.

Find what works for you, try anything and everything that takes your fancy and you'l find something that you'll like doing and doing often. I personally need the natural highs as well as the quiet time.

Hugs..........JJ      

[doublevision1]

Lizzie - I'm so sorry about your dad. What a terrible shock that must have been for you. Yes, you have a LOT on your plate right now, it's no wonder you feel stressed. I have not had to deal with so much all at once and I'm not sure how well I would manage it myself.

But when I do feel anxious about something in particular, I find that exercise is always a sure thing that will make me feel better, mentally and physically. It's a great outlet, temporarily gets my mind off my concerns, and of course the benefits continue after you're done. For me I like a hard workout on my treadmill with loud music, or a nice long walk with my dog. The mental health benefits of exercise are backed by research.

It can be tough, but I try to avoid foods that aren't good for me particularly when I'm stressed, as I can be an emotional eater if I allow myself to give into it. There's nothing better than a sugar high, and nothing worse than a sugar crash. :(

I'm not a big drinker but a relaxing glass of wine with my feet up is a lovely way to unwind, alone or with my spouse and/or friends.

Reaching out to friends.....like you just did here. :)

I love going to the movies and those two hours are a great temporary distraction to whatever might be bothering me.

Not having kids, I'm not in a position to advise on that aspect of your situation but I can only imagine how all consuming parenting must be. Hopefully you have friends or family who can perhaps give you an occasional break.

The last time I was highly, horribly stressed was years ago during my dx. For a short time I took Lorazepam and zopiclone for anxiety and sleep. It was helpful for a few nights but the effects wore off rather quickly and I didn't want to increase the dose. But it helped me over a little hump.

Sleep is especially important during stress but can be elusive when your mind is racing. If you're having any trouble with it, you might discuss with your doc.

Again, my condolences on your loss, and it hope you can find ways to alleviate some of the pressure you are under.