I'm still so scared!

[carrie235]

Hi everyone:

Julie:  I am sorry to hear that you were diagnosed yesterday with MS.  It sounds as though you are a very strong woman though and that you are going to get through this.

I am going for my spinal MRI tomorrow night at UCSF.  I am soooo terrified that I have MS and what my future holds.  I have noticed a new symtom lately and that is of my right foot feeling as though it wants to fall asleep.  I have NOT noticed any muscle weakness though....I just don't know what to think and I'm so scared.

In early March two neurologists said my tingling/vribrating was due to anxiety and they put me on prozac which gave me terrible acid reflux....I'm off the prozac but the acid reflux is totally getting me down along with my pending dx.  I'm just feel like crying and I know that the stress and anxiety I'm causing myself waiting for next Tuesday isn't helping.  By the way,, my gastrointerologist of all people is the one who sent me to ms specialist at UCSF....go figure.

To make matters worse, I read somewhere that people who are diagnosed after 40 and show a lot of lesions with symptoms over several parts of their body are progressive and not remit/relapse.  This is really scaring me.  Is this true?

Sorry to be rambling....but soooo many questions.  

My prayers and thoughts are with everyone.

Carrie

[meg321]

Hi Carrie,

I also was a mess for awhile but was happy for my diagnosis of MS....there are much worse things to have I have found out.  

I was diagnosed at age 65 with RRMS, so I dont know that it really makes much difference and i am on copaxone and my MS is stable now.

Try to be positive even though its hard.  I go to UCSF also and they have been terrific.

hugs, meg

[tonyad]

  Hello :)

    I can certainly feel your anxieties and concerns. Just know onw thing for sure.......
MS is NOT a death sentence!  There are good days nad bad days......

    I too think that Julie did an awesome job on her response!  I too am a Believer and w/out him, I would not have made it this far....So, whatever 'your" higher power is, look to it and meditate on it.

    Please keep us updated after you get your results.
Take Care..No worries, everything is going to be alright!
~Tonya

[rendean]

Dear Carie,

Julie said everything I would have told you. She is right about you not being able to change the diagnosis, it is what is its. What can change is your attitude surrounding. Try to think positive thoughts, I know this is difficult as I went through what you are experiencing a little over a year ago.  Cry when you need to,  get xanex or Ativan (what I was given by my neuro) for the MS and try not worry about things you cannot change.

Huge comforting hugs,
Ren
dx 4/09

[carrie235]

Thank you Julie.  I am going to stop looking at anything else as of right now.  My MRI is tomorrow night at 7pm in San Francisco then I have an OCT (vision test I think) at 1230 in SFO on Thursday.  THEN, on Monday, have have a lumbar puncture and two other tests.  My doctor appt for results is on Tuesday at 4pm in "SFO.  I will let you know what happens.

Thanks for your kind words.  I really appreciate it.

Carrie

[jujuminx]

  Take a deep breath.  Breath and don't let your mind get away from you.  It sounds like the doctors are doing what they need to do to dx you.  Your job right now is to take care of yourself.  Did your doc give you pills to relax you while in MRI?  I am not the type to like tight spaces so mine gave me two xanex pills. Took one 30 min before and one right before they put me in.  MRI of c and  t spine w/ and w/o contrast can take 2 hrs.
  IF you have MS and right now it is a big IF you getting yourself worked up will not help anything.  You either have it or you don't, the worry wont change a thing. So breath and be very, very kind to yourself.  Cry yes, that is natural.
  I would encourage you if you are a believer to have some conversations with God.  Talk and LISTEN.  There will be great comfort there.  This burden is way too big for anyone but Him.
  My neuro cannot definitively say that my first episode with numbness was in fact an MS response since I never had a spinal MRI.  He can guess but it's just that a guess.  I don't know anything abou the different MS types as as soon as I realized that MS was a likely hood I stopped reading all the stuff on the internet. This forum was the only one I came to and I was careful to stay away from anyone too negative.
  It is way too early in this dx journey for you to be looking at kinds of MS.  Leave it alone and believe you are doing all you can to get a dx, whatever it is so that you can get on the proper drugs.
  I will be saying prayers for you. What time is your MRI?  Peace and comfort to you.

Julie