just need some support

[Willowwoman777]

I had the IV solumedrol the week after Thanksgiving. The awful ON is gone, but it seems like other symptoms are worse, such as dizziness, fatigue, balance, hands not working right. My gp says stress can make MS progress and he knows I am under tremendous stress: sick husband that we have home health 6 hours a day, his being very demanding and also not very nice to me at times. I am feeling so frustrated tonight. My hands don't always work right and lately as I said. I was setting out the nativity scene his late mother gave to him that she made in ceramics and I accidentally broke 2 pieces which I immediately fixed. That was last week. He just asked me a half hour ago, "How could you break my things?" like I did it on purpose. I told him I didn't do it on purpose, it was an accident and it's not my fault I have MS. He makes me feel sooo stupid. Like it's not bad enough I've almost falled 4 times in the past 5 days, and my words are all messed up, he adds guilt to it all. So, that's why I just need a little encouragement from people who understand what I'm going through.

[supermum_ms]

Just had to give you a [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[HUG]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

All I can say is sometimes fear is enacted as anger, frustration at self is taken out on those they dont mean or intend to hurt, it become a downward spiral unless its brought out into the open in a loving an supportive, none accusary way. Have the strenght to tell him what his anger is doing, if you do decide to speak to him, make sure to be honest and use I instead of You.

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[HUGS]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

JJ

[figuerpa]

Ahhhh....BIG HUGS for you.

Nothing worse than people who don't understand. But JJ made good points about fear being made into anger. I just hope you can sit down and talk to him and let him know how much it bothers you.

She has better advice than I would have given lol. I get so tired of being not believed or that I am using it as an excuse that I just get mean myself. lol I try to keep it under control but sometimes it isn't easy.

I do hope you can find a way to get him to understand, and to get your stress under control.

Take Care,

Paula

[HVAC]

The MS Society has a great Teleconference and workbook for couples. Our local chapter goes further and has a couples workshop. For better or worse couples have to learn to deal with this disease. I had to learn it is not easy for my spouse. Sometimes he gets sick of the MS being the main focus. He gets sick of the stress of being the bread winner. I had not thought of it from his perspective. What we learned was how to communicate better. I have learned to cut my husband slack and be supportive and he has started doing that for me as well.

Alex

[HoustonDogLove]

You're not stupid so don't let it get to you. It sounds like high stress for both of you, It sounds like y'all may need to take a deep breath re-evaluate the things you have no control over.
Him especially. He need to look at why he cant forgive you.
My guess he is angry stressed out and hurt from whatever he is going through, maybe he's missing his mother around Christmas.
It was an accident, you know those are sentimental things, you have little you can do about it now, you already fixed them.
What family do you know that doesn't have some ornament/decoration that is very precious and they haven't done everything year after year to fix it.
My mother gets very ugly around this time of year too. it makes it very hard to deal with her. You want to help but she won't let anyone in.
I sometimes need to break off and do something on my own, Go with a girlfriend maybe if you can.  
Be a bigger person and forgive him.  Maybe say it to his face? maybe doing it internally will be a relief of stress.

[rendean]

Big, Big hugs for you!!!! You are NOT stupid... you have MS and it can mess up your entire body! For me the IV steroids add another layer of fog to my world for about 10 days. It's like everything is in slow motion.

You do need to sit down and talk to him as JJ said. She gave you excellent advice!!!!! Especially using  "i" instead of "you" so he doesn't feel like you are attacking him but that you are just explaining how it makes you feel.

Hang in there!!! You are NOT alone. There are many of us who have spells like you are having. Fell free to come back to vent or for more support!

Ren

[Sumanadevii]

It sounds like your husband is very ill if he is receiving home health care six hours daily.  He may be in a lot of pain or the medicine he is taking brings him to saying things not of his character.  Add your own stress of caring for an ill husband, pile on MS and you have a mess!!  I doubt sitting down with a heart to heart will do a thing at this point.  My suggestion is to get "out" from the home to take a breather while the health care providers are there taking care of him.... even if you sit visiting a friend or window shopping.  Just get away from it all.  

[Willowwoman777]

Thank you everyone. You can not believe how much your words of support have helped me. To HoustonDogLove - I did something for myself...ate pizza and cookies. I figure after being on the MS diet for a year and a half one binge aint gonna kill me..

Yep, MS is the pits for sure and it does help to have this place to come to for understanding and compassion both being the receiver and giver. Thank you my friends. If I'm lurking, or not on every day it's because of what I live with. I hope you'll understand and not forget me :)