Please don't tell me to call it tapering. To me, methadone is poison of the worst sort and I will call it detoxification. I have numbed myself with pain killers for 18 yrs so I feel I'm qualified to write about it. Eventually I ended up on methadone, but Percocet and Oxycontin came first.
I believe Oxycontin is a drug that was created for the sole purpose of addiction. Did they know it would eventually become the GenX epidemic? I believe yes. I also believe that the methadone clinics in our country (US) saw this and prepared for the day when Oxycontin would become "less available".
When I first started methadone (at the clinic), I thought it was the greatest. I no longer worried about where to get my drug because it was there. I never failed UA's because numbing my past was all I wanted and methadone was king. Problem was that methadone (to me) is the most debilitation and unhealthy of all the pain killers. I reached as high as 160mgs/day when I wanted out.
I started looking all over the net to find someone that had detoxed, but could find very little. I just wanted to find one person who had done what I knew I was going to do. There were a few stories of people that said they had detoxed, but just like a ghost, they were always gone. There was no way for me to "reach out" to them.
So I started 1.5years ago on a slow and painful detox alone. Instead of helping and being an integral part of my detox, the clinic has actually stood in the way in a few instances. Still, I have continued and I'm now at 15mgs/day. I wish I could tell every one of you that it has been easy, but it has not.
Before beginning my detox I put many barriers in place and when I get through I will owe a significant amount of gratitude to the barriers. The barriers ranged from things as significant as my family to as small as an MP3 player full of inspiring music. I owe it most of all to my family, but every barrier has played a role, and I could not have done it with one less of each.
When I detoxed to 40mgs, I was in pain. I had never laid eyes on my clinics physician and they never gave me any emergency numbers to call. It was a very lonely and painful place and I wanted someone that had felt the same way to tell me I was going to be okay. There was none. My family was there, but they couldn't understand the craziness going on in my head. So I started a blog.
ismelltherain.me would become my outlet. I have posted daily detox symptoms and every thought in between on those pages. I haven't decided what to do with it when I'm done (with detox), but I know I will leave it there for anyone else going through the nightmare of pulling these methadone hooks out.
It is true; I have done this detox alone in many respects. I believe no one should ever have to go through these kinds of doubts alone and I will do my part to make sure that happens to nobody else. The blog address is above and my email is purplerain at ismelltherain.me
I was on painpills advanced to heroine for total of 11 years. I got on methadone thru my dealer back when you had to have someone to sign a paper saying they knew you to be an I.V. drug user for at least 2 years. Ever heard of that? thats the way it was when I got on metadone thru my heroine dealer, who was on the clinic, and he signed my I.V. paper. I'v been on the clinic for 20 years now so I think I might know a thing or two about the subject. I have tapered from 200mg down to 30 mg. It has taken 3 years and sometimes I even skip a day. I have not suffered with this tapering. Methadone is a lifesaver in some cases, like mine. I heard a girl at the clinic said she was geting on the clinic because she did 5 5mg hydrocodone a day. Someone should have ran her out of there quick. The clinic just saw it as a cashcow! As for methadone being poison, arent they all, especially opiates with tylenol in them. In all my time on methadone,I have never suffered any toxic side effects;I take tons of supplements though. It is a medical that true opiates, which methadone is not, has no harmful effects on any organ or organ system. This is opiates with no other additives. I wish I was not on methadone but if I came off 30 mgs Iwould have go dance with the devil at a pain clinic. I got shot with a .44 magnum hollow point bullet. The Clint Eastwood gun,you know, when he says "Go ahead make my day". This happened in 89 and there were no pain clinics then. My orthopedic surgeon told me you r not going to be able to get the pain meds you r going to have to have for the rest of your life. He said, you might want to check about a methadone clinic. I didn't know what that was so I gave it no thought.well after three years of the drugs he gave me plentifully and he didnt need to see me anymore he gave me 30 darvocet to go and said good luck. I found out what wd was then. I found out what a methadone clinic was then. The gunshot blew my hip to pieces and 5 inches of femur. They put rods in and did bone graphs. When they took the rods out I got MERSA down in the bone. I almost lost my leg. The CDC in Atlanta made an antibiotic that would keep it under control but would never kill it. They said it coulc come back at any time or it might never come back. They said we cant do a hip replacement because if they got the MERSA stirred up they would have to take the replacement out and cuy my leg off. SO, Methadone a very complicated individual treatment, for lack of anything I can think of better to say. SORRY FOR THE RANT PEACE
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