I am sorry!

  Well it seems that in all of my enthusiasm and planning for the summer get together, I have managed to step on some toes and hurt some feelings. I want you all to know that I never meant for any of this to happen and I am deeply hurt by what I have done. So much so that i am thinking of just bowing out gracefully now so as not to cause any more hard feelings.
  As I said in the begining, I did not want to be considered the "head" person in all of the planning and I was looking to you all for suggestions to help make it a weekend we would all remember. But I knew that a lot of you were not feeling well so I went ahead on my own. I guess now that was the wrong thing for me to do.
  As for now, I think that I will just take a break from everything and let things progress as they may.
And know that I am truely sorry for those that I hurt.
       Love Chris

[kimmywah]

I just wanted to say that your idea and your organization of the get together for everyone is a wonderful and truly inspiring thing to do.  If I could come all the way from over in Kiwiland I would.  I'm not sure what happened but please don't be hurt or discouraged, this is a wonderful thing that I am sure lots of women are really looking forward to.

Peace and love....Kim

[Shari4444]

I agree with Kim. I don't know what happened, but I hope you will continue to keep up the great start you have begun with planning the get-together. You have made a lot of invaluable contacts that are going to be a great help!!!!

Hugs,
Shari

[junamgen]

totally agree with Shari and Kim.  You already have done a wonderful job!!!

Peace and Love

Jun

[marie3B]

I agree with the above. So much has been accomplished. I am anxious to meet everyone. Love, Marie

[SimplyStar]

OK ladies, I hope I can call most of you that.  Chris is a fine person that would never hurt anyone, I don't know what has happened, but  if someone wants to quibble about the summer outing,  bring it on, I stand as a Champion for Chris, bring your beefs to me, she does not need to be upset over this at all.  This is why I always enjoyed working with men instead of women,  cat fights  and petty quarrels are disgusting .  Marty

[Kimchi]

PEOPLE ON THIS FORUM ARE UNREAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR ANYTHING...you have good intentions so don't let a few jealous/control freaks  discourage you from doing what you want to do to help people with OC.
Star, I stand with you.

[butterflytc]

I am deeply saddened to hear this. all I can say is wow! I thought it was wonderful of you to do all that work for us. So sorry it has gone awry.
I for one thank you from the bottom of my heart for trying to do something for all of us. I am sorry it has ended up hurting you.
Love
butterflyTc

[JC145]

Someone has to take the lead .. and you did a wonderful job.  I wish I could have joined you .. and I hope you don't quit now.  The American Cancer Society was behind you.  You never know where this path will lead for all of us on this forum.

Don't quit ... keep up the good work.

Judy C

[crecco]

I have been doing a lot of thinking this evening. And I want to thank all of you for your support and encouragement. But you are right. I have come too far with this to just throw it all away now.
  To the person that I hurt so badly, please know that I never intended for this to happen. You are one of the girls that I was so looking forward to meeting and I truely feel that it would not be the same without you. If there is anything that I can do to make this up to you, please let me know. I consider you a very special friend and you do not know how much it hurts me to know that I upset you so. I hope that you will read this and will find it inside yourself to forgive me.
  I will go on with the plans for this summer. I have put a lot of hard work and effort into planning a weekend for all of us to be able to enjoy and remember for a long time to come. I hope that all of you who are able will consider being there as the more of us who are able to actually meet, the closer we will all become. Besides that, you all mean to much to me, and I would never want to let you all down. I look forward to meeting any and all of you who show up and for those of you that can't, please know that you will be in our thoughts the entire weekend.
  Thanks for helping me to see the light!
   Love to you all, Chris

[cirella]

Well, I sure hope that we all can see the BIGGER picture in all this.  It's not about who does what...it's about the goal, which is to have a get together so that we all can meet AND, this is the bonus, get the word out there about OVCA.  So, I really hope that it can be resolved.  If someone is upset and can't or won't be involved then you should still go ahead with it, Chris.  I don't understand why everyone just can't work together.  I know so many people are looking forward to meeting.  

Take care and stop crying over it...please...you are only doing what is in your heart!

[Jan214]

Chris, you are one of the kindest people on here and I don't know how anyone could be so cruel as to make you cry.  I am sorry that this happened and I am sure we are all looking forward to this get together.  Hopefully, whoever was having such a bad day will either be better by than or not show up at all.  You have been wonderfully unselfish in doing this during a very hard time for you and I am sure it will be a wonderful get together.
Love,
Jan

[Brownie3321]

Let's try and see this for what it is - a much-needed get together for women sharing an incredible bond. This is NO time to get caddy whatsoever. I don't know what happened, but I do know all of us women dealing with this sh*tty cancer should not be involved in any un needed stress. Chris, you are wonderful - I'm glad you will continue to plan this great event. With love. Deandra

[Searching48507]

Chris,

Keep up the great job.  Regarding a slogan, how about "Beat the Beast - Submission and Remission"

Perhaps my dry sense of humor.  But that's how I've been feeling recently with trying to help my mom.

Karen

[lvfrogs]

Chris,
I only wish I was able to go, so that I could actually meet all the wonderful women on here and I have followed the posts just to see what you all are planning. I think it will be wonderful for you and the other ladies on here to meet and hopefully, get the word out about OVCA.  It's like any thing that you "join" in life, PTA, Church groups, etc.... there is always someone not happy but I say, too bad - Chris is doing the work and I applaud you for that.  I am hoping the hurt feelings go away!

Colleen

[msjazz]

I know how excited you have been about the gathering. I also know you started back in late March and on your April 6 and 8 post you were still asking for help and suggestions. I admire you for all your work with everything else that has been going on with you. I can't put together a dinner at home for me and Johnny myself. Keep up the good work.   Donna

[butterflytc]

So glad the event is still on Chris, I am sure whoever got hurt by this, will come around and see you just want to hold this for all of us to get together. Thats all that matters
hugs
butterflyTc

[hdryder]

I am  glad as well that you are  going thru with the planning of this get together.I don't know what happened either but in any organization or group that I have been a part of  there  has to be someone that  is willing to do the foot/mind work to get something started or in most cases it never gets off the ground.So I applaud you Chris for  stepping up to the plate and  doing what you feel is in the best interest of the ladies here.
I'm not sure I will be attending,but there is a good possiblity I will,so when all info is in,just post it out there and  they will come!
Best wishes to you,Mary Ann

[Jan214]

Chris, when it comes down to booking hotel rooms and such we need to not discuss that on the open forum.  With the whack jobs we have, we have to make sure that everyone who is coming is who they say they are.  I am not sure yet how to do that, but we are a group of sitting ducks for just about any whacko once we are up there as a group.  There have been people responding that none of us know and I am not comfortable with that.  I guess I didn't think about this as much as I should have.

[fungirl1011]

I think you are very right.  I am probably one of the ones that you do not recognize, but I have been on and off this forum for about 2 years now.  Mid, Gail, Shawn, Pam, Anna, Katie, Becky can all vouch for me:)  I think it is a terrefic idea to come up with a way to make sure that we are who we say we are.  I think this get together is such a great idea and I am looking forward to it.  If I can be of any help, please let me know.

Hugs,
Kasie

[SimplyStar]

Hey  you can find my picture posted in most every post office  nation wide   under   Wanted    $5.00 reward   lol

[crecco]

Thanks for bringing this up. I have also thought about it and figured that when the time got closer, those kind of details can be done through private messages. I have several that have contacted me about the event only through private message anyway, so even though it will take some time, I figured that would be the best route to take. As far as for checking that everyone is who they say they are, I am not quite sure how to do that but for the most part I  think that we know most of the girls. I am glad that you thought of this and expressed your concern because I think that there are several who want to come but just do not want it posted on the open forum. So please feel free to contact me by private message if you are interested. And we will make sure that none of the recent nut cases out there will tarnish this event in any way.
   Love You, Chris

[dawnlyn]

Thanks for not hanging in there....You have done a wonderful job.......

Hugs..
Dawnlyn

[butterflytc]

I thought I recognized you Marty, won't bother turning you in the rewards too cheap!
    

[Teresa222]

Keep up the great job.  I'm wondering if we might have someone or a few on this board who are much too sensitive??  I'm not sure if I can come, but am having fun considering it.
Teresa

[Morrowville]

Even though I don't have OVCA, I was a part of this group...
BTW, I'm starting to work back in my office on Monday!

Would I still be able to go to the outing?  There are so many ladies I'd love to wrap my arms around and support!

Please let me know what y'all think...

Morrowville

[ChrisP2236]

I'm unable to go but think you've done an amazing job getting this off the ground.  You are so appreciated for the hard work you do and the great advice you share.  I'm so sorry I won't be there but hopefully this is just the first of many gatherings.  I'll be with you in spirit.  Hugs, Chris P (the other Chris)

[PF_PVD]

I think Morrowville brings up a good question.  Is this outing open to anyone who stumbles upon this website?  Those who don't even have cysts? Those who think they might have a cyst? Those who have benign cysts? Those who had a cyst but don't anymore? Those who once knew someone who had a cyst? Those who wish they had  a cyst so they could be part of our little group? Those who pretend they have cysts to get attention? Those who have painful periods? Those who had unprotected sex with their BFs? Those who might have had an irregular pap smear but they couldn't hear that well, so they're not sure? Those who are having trouble getting pregnant, and so on?  I'm not trying to stir up trouble, but I think you'll get my point. Paula

[ireneo]

If anyone's going to step on toes, let me be the first one. I had a cyst and all the worry that went with it. But mine was benign. You all were caring and informative and I have a tender spot in my heart for all of you. But. . . . I did not have ovarian cancer so I wouldn't really fit in. I can't discuss chemo and hair loss and nausea and pain. And this get-together is more than a girls' day out for lunch. It sounds like you're raising awareness for OvCa and I wouldn't have anything to add in terms of experience.

I met with some folks from a heart board. We had a great time, talked about our cardiologists, meds, low sodium diets and all. Our husbands (sweethearts) mostly sat around and listened to us jabber on. It was a wonderful visit and I'm glad we got together. But it meant the most to those of us with heart issues.

So (my 2 cents worth) I'd say stick with women who have had OvCa. Not that I wouldn't love to meet you all face to face but I would just be the fly on the wall and not able to contribute much. Have a great time all.  It will be a memory you'll cherish daily.

[nyc lady]

What is the purpose of the get together?  To raise awareness of Ovarian Cancer, to have a get together with some great women that have been corresponding for quiet some time?  Or to have a weekend long support session for OvCa survivors?

I don't think that I will be able to come, although it sounds like a great time.  But, I would hate to think that there is an opportunity to educate people about this disease that anyone would be excluded because they do have not have OvCa.  That is just my opinion.  

Remember, 99 percent of us came to this forum that somehow relates to OvCa, whether it be because we are survivors, patients, friends, family or someone that has experienced the signs and symptoms and fear of the unknown.  

I have said it once before, and will stand behind what I said and say it again.  No where does it say that this forum is FOR patients with Ovarian Cancer, it is about Ovarian Cancer, thus anyone who wants to learn or participate is welcome.

Chris - I don't know what happened or who said what, but, what you are doing is amazing.  I truly wish that I can clear my calendar and find an easy way to get there from New York.  If you need any help with organizing and/or ideas for possible educational seminars or break out sessions or anything, let me know.  You also may be able to work with a local cancer organization and get guest speakers and such.  Good luck and I will support your efforts in any way that I can.

Love,
Pam

[crecco]

  Thank you all for your input and know that I do understand where many of you are coming from. After the wackos that we have had disrupt us, I would be concerned also. And i am trying my hardest to make sure that nothing like this happens.
  I said before that as the time draws closer, and the plans are firmly laid, I will do the correspondence about it through PM just to make sure that no fruitloops can show up.
  Now my feelings are that there are several of you here that have had an ov ca scare and came her looking for support and found out how wonderful the ladies here are. Tehy were very lucky when their tests all came back negative. But so many of us were there for them that they have decided to stay and offer their support to us in any way that they can. Also we do have some caregivers here. Now I feel that it would not be right if I were to tell them that they cannot come because they do not have ov ca. If we do that, then we would be stirring up some old problems that we have all worked very hard to get past. The original plans for this was to give us all a chance to meet the people that have been a source of the care and support that we all came here looking for and found. We have all rallied behind several here when they were scared and did not know what was going to happen or what their outcome was going to be. And when they discovered that they did not have ov ca we were also right there behind them, cheering for them and letting them know how happy we were. I look at it like maybe they want a chance to meet all of the wonderful women that were behind them through their terrifying ordeal. Can I deny them that? No. We all want to meet one another for the same reasons, to actually put a face with the love and support that we found here. Please rest assured that the people who have responded that they are coming are all members that fit into those catagories. I do not want to make this seem as though we are just a select few that are wanted and no one else is allowed. From what I see, I know that we will all have a great time. The ones that will be there are all women that I so would like to meet. I only wish that more of you were able to come. Maybe we can think of making this a yearly or bi-yearly event and have it in a diffrent part of the country, so that everyone will get the same chance to meet the women who have been behind them. I hope that my opinion does not make anyone mad, and please feel free to let me know what your opinion is.
  Love you all,
   Chris

[marie3B]

Chris,

I agree with you totally.  I compare it to the Race for the Cure.  Does everyone there have breast cancer?  No. The people are there for support, to raise money, and certainly to raise awareness. Larger numbers get more attention to a cause. It sure has worked for that cause.  

I do have cancer.  I have been given all kinds of support here on this forum.  Cirella does not have cancer, but has been personally responsible for lifting my mood out of the toilet on numerous occasions. She is not the only one without cancer that is a valuable member of the forum. I don't want to name them all because I may forget someone.

I don't think we will have to set criteria on who qualifies to go.  I think only those with reason to go will want to go. I don't think any one or two time posters have expressed interest in attending. I think it will be those of us with cancer, those with a close relative with cancer, and those that came here fearing cancer and stayed to support others that will want to be there.

I like the idea of making this an annual or bi-annual event, choosing different parts of the country. That way I won't have to feel guilty about it being so close to home for me!

Thank you again, Chris, for putting so much of yourself into this event.

Much Love, Marie

[SimplyStar]

We all get YOUR POINT  Paula   I am fairly sure with gas prices the way they are and Motel costs up like crazy, that it would take a "rich fool" to break into the barriers of this meeting.  I am going to my 60th class reunion in a couple of weeks, I went to school with these people,  many years ago, that is still our comman bond, but do I know  their entire background, NO.   I do not have OVCA, or even a cyst, or even a pretended cyst, nor do I seek attention. What I want is to meet some Ladies that I have become acquainted with via the internet, I have looked into the faces of some of you  from the photos you posted, The comman bond I see is two fold, to develope a closer friendship, by meeting face to face and also to raise awareness of this damn disease. I am not afraid to meet any of you.  No one is FORCING  anyone to attend this week end, it has always been a matter of private choice.  I do  a lot of time shares all over the states,  those weeks are spent with strangers all around me, some of them end up being good friends and others remain just people I met. I was always taught  not to throw "cold water"  on someone elses parade.  Chris you are carrying this load on your shoulders for all of us,  I for one, am really appreciative,  of the  time and effort you are putting into this.

[SimplyStar]

and on second thought, I cannot see us all sitting around talking cancer and cysts all the time. This can be a week end to set those things aside and enjoy some fun good times.  If I thought it was only going to be Cancer talk, I am afraid I would have to leave all my photo albums at home, my joke books, my walking shoes. I want to learn about where you have spent vacations, who your favorite movie stars are, best reciepes, most of all I just want to get to know you all.  

[Morrowville]

Well said, and thank you ladies.  Chris, please keep me on the listed of those who would like to attend!

Also, everyone, please note, I am returning to work next week, and am not available as much as before (I hear some of you cheering)... lol  let it be because I am returning to work!  lmao

I had turned off my messages and notes, but have opened them back up for friends.

love you all,
Donna

[ireneo]

Talking about stepping on toes - how about sticking my foot in my mouth? I should have realized how you would respond: with open arms. My "opinion" was only based on how I tend to think. I worry, too often perhaps, about intruding into people's lives or space. So I tend to hang back and stay out of the way. But that is my thought process. It's a bit of a conflict at times because I truly enjoy people. Yet I'm the typical shy wallflower person.

I'm sorry if I gave anyone the impression that you wouldn't welcome others. That wasn't my intent at all. I was just thinking out loud about why I probably wouldn't come. For those that do make the trip, you'll be in some of the best company. Have a good time and share those hugs all around.

[crecco]

Ireneo,
  Please do not feel as though you said anything wrong. I appreciate everyones opinions. I hasve been asking for them since I first started thinking about this and am glad to finally get to hear everyones different thoughts. I want you to know that if you are able to come you would be just as welcome as anyone, and you could think out loud all that you wanted. And you do know that we would not let you be a shy wallflower. I too worry about intruding into other people lives and space, can't you tell?
  But if you can beleive it I also tend to be shy when meeting someone for the first time. I always have been. But once I get to know you, watch out because i will talk your leg off and you will find yourself wishing I would shut the heck up!
  
  I want you all to know how special you are to me, that is why I am doing this. I have listened to you all since i first came here and i am listening now. As I have said over and over, I just want this to be a weekend that we can all enjoy and remember for a long time to come. You have all done so much for me in giving me a place to come to and listening to me vent, and cry and celebrate, this is my way of giving something back to you. I have thought for a long time that I am still here for a reason but could not figure out what that reason was. Well I think that I have finally figured it out.
  I think no different of any of you for voicing your opinions. Our opinions is what makes us who we are.
  Thank you for giving me this opportunity
   Love Chris

  

[butterflytc]

I am looking forward to meet all of you in August, those with cancer, and those that care so much about those of us that do. The more the merrier, and knowing that it is all happening privately, I dont think we need to worry too much. Like Marty and Marie have already said, so many of the people I call friends on here, are friends because they cared enough to keep my spirits up, when I was down. Others have done amazing research (and you all know who you are , and one is "wanted" at the post office lol) reward is only 5 bucks, but friendships are priceless.
love butterflytc

[PF_PVD]

I just posted my questions as food for thought NOT with anyone in mind or preaching to ONLY open this to those with cancer.  For one thing, we have no way of proving anybody's story anyway.  One of us could be a 10 year old boy and healthy as can be.  I certainly wouldn't want to exclude people like Fran and Lori for example who have contributed so much.  Anyway It sounds like Marty and Morrowville have made the decision that everyone is welcome and everyone seems happy with that decision.  I just want you all to be careful please.  Paula

[Gail8247]

Please add my name to the list.  I too am sorry that someone felt the need to hurt you, obviously their feelings are not shared by the rest of us on the list.

I would be honored to meet all of you who can make it.

Gail

[Sandymac]

All I can say is that if "The Gathering" were to be held in Florida or N.C. , I would really enjoy going. It would be great to put faces on all the names I  see each day and show my support.
     I wonder if this isn't how some of the "big" fund raiser, awareness groups got started?? Just a few gals and their families getting together, sharing, and supporting one another. Then it branches out to---------who knows?? Annual events? Different parts of the country? Fund raisers connected to it?
     I,for one, am sorry I cannot attend but if one ever comes to my 'neck of the woods', I hope I'll be welcome. Think of the awareness you are going to be creating through possible press releases,etc. and the fun you'll be having at the same time!

Y'all have a ball !!
Love,
Sandy

[Jan214]

Sandy you might be onto something there.  Every big group started with one person saying to another,  "what do you think about...?  Who knows maybe making this an annual event would create enough of a stir to get the cause noticed.

[Sandymac]

Well, not to compare the two at all  ... But.. Weight Watchers was started by a few women in a basement in NY years ago.. Jean Neidich (sp?) and some friends decided they wanted to lose some weight, decided to get together and "brainstorm" , share stories, support one another and look at them now !!!  Then there's always "The Komen Foundation".What a huge success story that has become .. started by only a small group. And, what Katie Couric did for colon cancer--- the list just goes on..

Just noticed the time... Oh, did you get any of that bad weather? We have friends in Greensboro.. but the tornadoes on other side of town.. Really sad..

Later, Sandy