Need your support...it's back

I haven't been around much lately...have been in a bit of a funk after reading about another death of one of our dear 'forum sisters'...my heart was aching too much, and I guess I thought I could be selfish and hide my little ostrich looking head.  I feel badly for asking for your help when I haven't been around much. The day before yesterday, I had to have emergency gallbladder surgery...it was near rupturing.  Today, I found out that the doctor had removed some "spots" from my liver and the surrounding abdominal wall and near my diaphram and they are malignant.  I've only had 4 months of NED...and I'm really scared again.  I guess this is going to be a "longer than 15 minutes" party pooper for me!  

I don't know what to expect now...and with it going to my liver, I really don't know exactly how bad that is.  I'll be talking to my oncologist and my gyn/onc about the pictures the general surgeon took when he removed my gallbladder.  

But I do know that one of you has probably had an experience or two with it...and even if you haven't...I need your help now...and love, and hope, and comfort...and maybe you could give ME a laugh or two!

Rhonda

[gma718]

I am so sorry for your recent news...I am here to offer support and will pray for you continously...sending many prayers and positive thoughts your way..keep us posted..Gia

[SimplyStar]

Rhonda  do not lose hope hun, keep bugging the doctors to find an answer for you,  I understand that liver spots can be taken care of, along with the other things the surgeon removed,  probably chemo again, but do keep active and after those rotten cells. Wish I had a funny story to tell you,  but will give you Love , Hope and Comfort and lots of Luck.  I know if Leslee were here right now she would tell you, Buck up Kiddo, you are never alone.  We are all here for you anytime.  Love Marty

[msjazz]

So sorry you are dealing with this. I think recurence is worse than the first time for most of us. It doesn't sound too bad, except for having to do  chemo again. I will keep you in my prayers as I do all the ladies on here.   Sincere hug,  Donna

[Brownie3321]

I agree with Donna, it's so hard the first time around. STAY STRONG, think positive and try your hardest not to be scared. You beat this the first time around, why not this time?!?! You can do this! Much love, Deandra

[butterflytc]

  Don't have a joke for you, as I feel so sad hearing your news of reoccurance. You are in shock right now, and have every right to be scared. Soon you will get pissed off, and the fight will come back in you again. Remember you are not alone. We are all here for you, and hoping for the best. Dont forget to Breath.
Love
butterflytc

[TrudieC]

Consider yourself surrounded by a big hug from us all.  You will get through this.

Hugs,
Trudie

[dian07]

Hey there kid....sometimes things just seem way too big and scary to handle.  You can do this.....YOU ARE NOT ALONE.....even when you feel and think you are.....YOU ARE NOT ALONE....not in the middle of the night when everyone else is sleeping....there is always one of us awake right along with you......when you are so tired you  feel you just can't go on there's another one of us out here who feels the same......YOU ARE NOT ALONE......Please , please know we are all here and we all care deeply for you and we will always be here for you whenever you need us (even when you don't!!)......I admit you are living the nightmare we all share.....I wish it wasn't so, but it is.....so, it is time to , once again, take a deep breath and take it head on.  You have no choice but to fight again.....you can, and will, get through this.  
My heart and soul are with you.
Peace.
dian

[jlock]

I'm sorry to hear this news..and I had a similar thing happen to me.  I had a clear ct scan,and a ca-125 of 12 when I had a second look surgery as well as a colostomy reversal done.  i woke up and was happy the colostomy bag was gone.  My Onc had some bad news for me.  he did see remaining cancer in me.  A couple of weeks later the pathology came back and all 15  samples were positive.  I started on Doxil for 6 cycles,felt fairly good during that and it did give me a 13 month remsission.  my Onc told me that now "cure was off the table" but we would continue to fight it.  Since then I have had 2 more recurrences...each chemo has been fairly easy to tolerate..I have a decent quality of life..and we treat the disease as chronic disease.  I am montiored closely and both recurrences have been caught early while the disease was minimal.  I know how scared you are...I cried my eyes out.  Just remember you are not alone like so many other lovely women have told you..we are there for you....Hang in there ..(((hugz)))~~~Joanne

[ChrisP2236]

I am so sorry to hear this and will keep you in my prayers.  Here is a big hug, Chris P

[bohan54]

People have been sending me jokes on a regular basis, could forward to you but will not just yet.  Let me know when you're ready to start laughin again and I'll see what I can come up with.
I feel for you big time,
Sharon B

[momofsandj]

I'm sorry to hear of these recent developments -- the first time I had a recurrence I was furious and frightened at the same time --- the second time I was more upset because it was only 5 months from the end of chemo --- I know everyone says this but unfortunately it becomes a chronic condition like diabetes only uglier ----- You will get through this and we are all supporting you -- take as much time as you need to greive then move on to aggressively treating whatever you have, and stay strong and otherwise healthy to fight it off.
Jeanne

[survivor_susie]

Rhonda,
I'm near tears for you since I just read this. But,  it sounds like the doctors found these when they were very, very small, which is great news for you.  Thank God that you needed the gallbladder surgery.

Just know that there are different kinds of meds to keep this at bay, and even kill it completely.  We're all here to love you through this.

ok. now I *am* in tears,
Kathy

[bohan54]

P.S
It was my friggin gall bladder that led to the discovery of my OVCA, too.
S

[silver&gold]

Im sorry you are going through this Rhonda, I know how scared you must feel . You will get through this  , while we live and breath there is always hope.

Sending positive thoughts your way . Love Angie

[Teresa222]

I am saddened by the news.  It's time to put those fightin' gloves on again.  It's a pain that you have to face these additional problems after the dx.  God Bless You!
Teresa

[StillFighting]

I dont know you yet, but HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[Sandymac]

I am so sorry to hear your news. Please know that you have so many friends here. I wish there was something to say that would comfort you..but I will def.add you to my "joke" list.

Take care and keep us posted,
Sandy

[justscore]

Sending you good thoughts and praying for healing for you.  

Heidi

[lvfrogs]

Rhonda,
I am so sorry to hear about this and can't begin to imagine how you feel. I am glad though that you had the gallbladder surgery and that they found it now instead of later.  Sometimes, that is a small blessing.  I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts every day. Hugs, Colleen

[crecco]

I am sorry to hear this. This friggin disease just will not give up will it?
I know how you must be feeling down right now, but try not to let it get to you too bad. The spots in your liver can be taken care of relatively easy. When I was first dx (at stage IV with mets to the skin and liver) the Dr described my liver as "spectacular". I later assumed that meant that it was full of cancer. The chemo shrunk and removed most of it. My next step was to recieve a radiofrequency ablation done by an interventional radiologist. (yes I know that is a mouthful)  which removed the 3 spots that were left in my liver. My problem is that is where i keep recurring at. I had a second RFA done last May. But once again have spots in my liver. The good thing about RFA is that it can be done numerous times because it does not affect healthy tissue, it only kills the tumors themselves. Plus it is a fairly easy procedure, requiring only an over night stay in the hospital and is virtually painless.
  I know that this is probably not what you want to hear because you would rather be hearing that you are still all clear. But just try not to get yourself too down. I know how hard it is, but your screen name makes me believe that you will come out of this just fine.
Hang in there.
   Chris