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New Donna Update
by Jan214, Sep 24, 2008 09:03PM
Dear Friends,
I received a text msg from Donna a little while ago and I am just going to write it here verbatim.
"Starting to tell everyone may have 2 get news from u hard 2 type answers 2 all 4 me now lol put u as who will let them know i appreciate them all get so looped on dilaudid"
I am glad she gets looped on dilaudid, that means she isn't in any pain.
I sent her two texts that she answered in one. I asked her if she wanted Cory to come get her husband out of the house tomorrow while she picks out her funeral arrangements. OMG I can't even imagine. The funeral home people are going to go to her house so she doesn't have to get out. Her husband "J" thought she would get better once she was home and is having a hard time dealing with the reality of the situation. For him picking that stuff is in the unseen future, for Donna it is close at hand, so I think he will take it hard. Donna is so strong even now she is more worried about those around her than herself. Her pastor came to visit today also so I think that was a good thing. I also told her I was going to ask you all to say your goodbyes and than stop writing because it was to taxing on her and she didn't need to be worrying about whether she was hurting someone's feelings or not. You all know how it is. This is her response to those text msgs.
"I hope j will pick his stuff 2 he said he would & no one 2 do it 4 him talked to chris & ronnie just now & they want 2 send notes if i can't answer so i want them 2 know i c them & appr it & u would update 4 me pastor helped"
Donna's onc told her that she could have two months if she stayed on the glucose IV, but that it would get uncomfortable for her and she would want to stop it. She gets about 1500 calories a day that way, but that is not the same as food and Donna is losing a lot of weight. She will slowly starve to death if she stays on it to long so she will stop sometime soon. We are looking at week/s not months now. Cory and I are going down Friday and I don't know how long we will stay. Maybe just the day, maybe longer. I know I am going back down next week also after my CT/Chest X Ray on Tuesday and will stay several days if not longer. I want to be there for her in the end and that is so up in the air right now. She has decided that when she gets to a certain point she wants to be in the hospital/hospice care. It is a local hospital in a small town, but she has a Dr friend who works there and she will get VIP treatment. She is kind of afraid of being in pain and worried about how J will take it if she dies at home. She is afraid he will lose it and not know what to do. That is one of the reasons I want to be there. Just in case she doesn't get to the hospital before, I don't want him to be home alone when/if it does happen like that. She is not to awfully afraid of the dying part, but she is scared of being in pain so that is one reason she is choosing the hospital at the end. She has gone the range of feelings and is angry at the Drs who can't do anything, angry at the world, angry that she has to go so young, angry that J will be left alone, but through all of that anger, she is LOL a lot so that could be a good lesson for us: no matter how angry we get, we have to keep our heads and not let the rage keep us from LOL. Most of you know who/what I am talking about. I will keep you informed as well as I can. Please understand if Donna does not answer your notes or emails. She just doesn't have it in her right now, but wants you all to know how much she loves and appreciates all of you for your numerous kindnesses.
Love,
Jan
I received a text msg from Donna a little while ago and I am just going to write it here verbatim.
"Starting to tell everyone may have 2 get news from u hard 2 type answers 2 all 4 me now lol put u as who will let them know i appreciate them all get so looped on dilaudid"
I am glad she gets looped on dilaudid, that means she isn't in any pain.
I sent her two texts that she answered in one. I asked her if she wanted Cory to come get her husband out of the house tomorrow while she picks out her funeral arrangements. OMG I can't even imagine. The funeral home people are going to go to her house so she doesn't have to get out. Her husband "J" thought she would get better once she was home and is having a hard time dealing with the reality of the situation. For him picking that stuff is in the unseen future, for Donna it is close at hand, so I think he will take it hard. Donna is so strong even now she is more worried about those around her than herself. Her pastor came to visit today also so I think that was a good thing. I also told her I was going to ask you all to say your goodbyes and than stop writing because it was to taxing on her and she didn't need to be worrying about whether she was hurting someone's feelings or not. You all know how it is. This is her response to those text msgs.
"I hope j will pick his stuff 2 he said he would & no one 2 do it 4 him talked to chris & ronnie just now & they want 2 send notes if i can't answer so i want them 2 know i c them & appr it & u would update 4 me pastor helped"
Donna's onc told her that she could have two months if she stayed on the glucose IV, but that it would get uncomfortable for her and she would want to stop it. She gets about 1500 calories a day that way, but that is not the same as food and Donna is losing a lot of weight. She will slowly starve to death if she stays on it to long so she will stop sometime soon. We are looking at week/s not months now. Cory and I are going down Friday and I don't know how long we will stay. Maybe just the day, maybe longer. I know I am going back down next week also after my CT/Chest X Ray on Tuesday and will stay several days if not longer. I want to be there for her in the end and that is so up in the air right now. She has decided that when she gets to a certain point she wants to be in the hospital/hospice care. It is a local hospital in a small town, but she has a Dr friend who works there and she will get VIP treatment. She is kind of afraid of being in pain and worried about how J will take it if she dies at home. She is afraid he will lose it and not know what to do. That is one of the reasons I want to be there. Just in case she doesn't get to the hospital before, I don't want him to be home alone when/if it does happen like that. She is not to awfully afraid of the dying part, but she is scared of being in pain so that is one reason she is choosing the hospital at the end. She has gone the range of feelings and is angry at the Drs who can't do anything, angry at the world, angry that she has to go so young, angry that J will be left alone, but through all of that anger, she is LOL a lot so that could be a good lesson for us: no matter how angry we get, we have to keep our heads and not let the rage keep us from LOL. Most of you know who/what I am talking about. I will keep you informed as well as I can. Please understand if Donna does not answer your notes or emails. She just doesn't have it in her right now, but wants you all to know how much she loves and appreciates all of you for your numerous kindnesses.
Love,
Jan
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Heidi
Jan , words can't say how wonderful a friend I think you are. I know she and "J" are immensely grateful to you and Cory.
Much love to you all,
Sandy
Over the months I have seen many posts by msjazz. She was a regular poster and I guess sometimes when you see the same folks posting on a regular basis everything is cool and life goes on. This is no longer the case for Donna. Oh, Lord I pray she is not suffering pain or feels alone. I don't technically "know" her, but my heart goes out to her, her husband, and family. You and your husband must truly be living angels to make the time to help in any way you can. I have read your recent posts, Jan, and I hope you also take care of yourself. In my opinion you are one of the strongest presence on the ovca forum.
Please Lord, wrap your arms around Donna and give her peace and comfort as her life here on earth evolves into an angel for ever more.
I pray for Jan to have strength, but to know when it's time to take a breather.
I pray for all the ladies that are going through rough times right now, but also the ones who are having good times and savoring the moments.
Thank you, Jan for keeping everyone up to date, you are one in a million. But then again I think we all are in our own way. Margo
Please tell Donna she is in my prayers and thoughts as she goes through this very tough time...(((hugz))~~~Joanne
She is very tired although still has her wit and charm about her. Please G-d wrap Donna in your arms and give her peace.. Johnny you are also in my thoughts she loves you so much... Ronni
You are a good friend.
Donna was very kind to me when I first came here... when my mother was first diagnosed. I am so sad to hear this is happening and I pray for peace and quiet as she faces these next few weeks.
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Love, Meg
Love, Trudie
Love,
Pam
Jan, thank you for being you.....What a wonderful caring person you are.
Love,
Dawnlyn
Donna was one of the first to welcome me here a year ago when I found the forum and became a special friend to me. I only wish I had had the chance to meet the wonderful woman behind that beautiful southern drawl.
I too have spoke with Donna on the phone and she is so amazingly strong. And I told her the same, do not worry about answering the messages, no one will mind, they just want you to know that they are thinking about you and keeping you in there prayers. As Jan said, she is at peace with herself and with God, but now she is worried about those around her and what her passing will do to them. Thats our Donna, always worried about everyone else.
May God bless her and keep her at peace and free from pain.
Love Chris
If someone could pease let her know that I'm thinking of her and will pray that she remains free from pain. I know that she'll be on the other side, cheering us all on as we continue our battles. I know that when ever I'm having a rough day or I'm scared I'll think of Donna and ask her to send me strength just as I'm sending to her now.
I love you Donna...and will never, ever forget you.
((HUGS))
Becky
Peace and Love
jun
Jan, I am sending you a PM. I hope you get it this time. Love ya, Kasie
May the blessing of light be on you—
light without and light within.
May the blessed sunlight shine on you
and warm your heart
till it glows like a great peat fire.
Thank you Jan and how wonderful for Donna to be surrounded by so much love.
Peace and Love...Kim
Love Angie
Warm hugs, Fran
Whew...this is so hard. Donna, I feel as if I'm losing a close friend. This moment right now is the moment I dread for all the women whom I've come to know here. How can it be that friendships are formed over the internet like this. I've long said that this machine allows us all to be more open and honest and so I think it makes it easier to put it all out there. Anyway, you have been a friend to me. Your quick wit and humor have made me chuckle. You are a Lady. I so wish we could have had more talks.
Cancer s*cks and it makes me so mad that it robs beautiful women like you of a long life. I pray for comfort for J and your family. I pray for no pain for you and that you are treated like the princess that you are. I can't even say goodbye so I'll just say that I'll see you in Heaven.
Love you, Sweetie.
We love you too Hon. You have been more than a friend to so many of us and this forum will never be the same without you. We may have never met, but I know that I do not speak only for myself when I say that I feel as though you have been a life long friend
I am glad that your family is there with you. and tell J that he is in our prayers also.
Love You,
Chris