This community is for discussions relating to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Please note, this community is not monitored by professionals, rather questions will be answered by other members of the community.
while on the locked unit - he took off his wedding ring and through it at me and yelled - "I WANT A DIVORCE!!" - then the next day - when he was back and so sorry - he asked for the ring back and said he loved me.
Drifter 0213 is correct that your husband needs deeper help. Has he been diagnosed with PTSD and does he go to therapy or is he on any medication to help with the PTSD.
Many mental illnesses can mimic PTSD and your husband does need to be diagnosed by an qualified professional.
As for yourself, there is nothing wrong with taking a time out and moving to a new place or distancing yourself until your husband gets proper help.
Please do not fall for the " I am sorry" routine until you see real improvement in your husband once he starts treatment or therapy...
A proper diagnosis is necessary to treat his issues. I'm no doctor so me trying to diagnose is unlawful and, well, ridiculous. From the descrition you've presented he sounds like he could be manic/depressive, bypolar or perhaps a dozen other things.... Proper diagnosis is essential!
I am so sorry that you have to go through this. It truly sounds like a nightmare. "Why do you stay with him?" is a question that you need to honestly answer for yourself. Is there hope for the marriage? Is there hope for him getting the help he needs? Can you stand in there and be his support system after enduring all of this?
Sticking around is a decision only you can make. While working this out in your head, it might not be a bad idea to start making an exit plan. Find housing, get money stashed and get yourself some help from enduring this. It is abuse, but it night not be intentional. You deserve help, peace of mind, and well being. If he can't provide that or support you, you may have to do this on your own. Do your homework. Look into all of the programs available to someone in your shoes, locally.
At this point, I am more than surprised that your local police department has not issued a 5150 (I believe that's what its called) on your husband. It is a psychiatric evaluation that normally has the affected person in custody for at least 72 hours so they can completely evaluate his health and the health of those around him.
This is me speaking from my own experience here, but I'd bet he can't get the help HE needs because HE doesn't want the help or doesn't feel the need for help. A lot of people with issues aren't completely capable of realizing that there is an issue. It takes a great deal of honesty and the ability to do a self inventory and realize that there is an issue. Its easier for the mind to pretend there isn't an issue than to go through the "embarrassment" of going through therapy.
My ego fought getting help for my problems for about 15 years. I was "too big, too strong" to have any mental illness or mental issues, or at least that's what part of me was trying to convince the other part of me of. The admission of mental problems is a perceived sign of "weakness" to a lot of male ego's. We are taught that we are the big strong people that just get things done. Nothing is supposed to bother us.
I still think you need to concentrate on you being healthy and staying healthy, and that includes an exit strategy and everything around that strategy. It appears this guy is ill and wants nothing to do with getting better.
For the life of me, I can't believe they don't have him on a psychiatric evaluation hold with as many times as the cops have been called. This is the system not working, and we don't know enough about mental illness and we care so much about "human rights".... it just gets messy.
The system appears to be failing you. It sounds like he has repeated issues, so I'm surprised that nobody is figuring this out. There is a problem and he has been apparently misdiagnosed and therefore incorrectly treated. The system may be the problem.
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