Aa
going backwards
I was held hostage when I was young, there was no treatment for
the outcome that put me on the path to depression with PTSD
so many years ago.
I have tried to isolate the PTSD from my general anxiety disorder
and depressive disorder, but am finding I need to actually
address the PTSD and to do that while being kind and gentle
toward myself.
I write in a journal everyday, but am quite introverted when it
comes to sharing feelings in mostly an extroverted world.
I did have a counselor and we worked on PTSD for nearly 2
years, but all I did was cry for almost the full 2 years. I think I
am older and stronger now and some of the people involved
in the Hostage incident have passed on which makes me feel
safer in some small way...
Thank you so much, This group/community looks awesome
the outcome that put me on the path to depression with PTSD
so many years ago.
I have tried to isolate the PTSD from my general anxiety disorder
and depressive disorder, but am finding I need to actually
address the PTSD and to do that while being kind and gentle
toward myself.
I write in a journal everyday, but am quite introverted when it
comes to sharing feelings in mostly an extroverted world.
I did have a counselor and we worked on PTSD for nearly 2
years, but all I did was cry for almost the full 2 years. I think I
am older and stronger now and some of the people involved
in the Hostage incident have passed on which makes me feel
safer in some small way...
Thank you so much, This group/community looks awesome
Todays News:
Yoga’s not usually the first thing that springs to mind when thinking about treatment for post traumatic stress disorder in veterans. But from the Veterans Administration to the Pentagon, yoga classes are becoming not just commonplace, but in some rehabilitation programs mandatory.
One of the places in the forefront of change is the Newington Yoga Center, in Newington, Connecticut.
About 20 veterans train to become yoga teachers. Suzanne Manafort of the Veterans Yoga Project, said what began as a small project has burgeoned into programs across the country. Manafort taught yoga for years before using it as a treatment for PTSD. She said she had no idea she might need to make adjustments to her teaching, until she made mistakes.
“Touching is a mistake. In yoga classes we touch all the time. But to somebody whose been sexually assaulted that’s a huge violation. Walking behind them is a huge mistake because it feels like they have to pay attention to what’s going on in the room instead of just practicing their yoga practice,” Manafort said.
She said ultimately it was veterans themselves that guided her, in some cases just by the courage it took simply to stay in class.
“Some of the men and women that I work with are Vietnam Veterans so they’ve been at home suffering for 40 years,” said Manafort. “And when they come into this treatment program and they’re told they have to do yoga, ‘they’re like are you kidding me?’”
“I thought it was a joke,” said Vietnam veteran Paul Gryzwinski. “And I remembered actually laughing out loud and they said no we’re really not kidding you’re going to be going to yoga.”
Gryzwinski is training to teach yoga to veterans. Many years after returning from the war, PTSD hit him hard. He ended up turning to the VA. Where he first encountered yoga.
“And I just thought of myself in like, tights with you know a bunch of women. And I know that sounds sexist – and I’m not, so forgive me – but it was such an alien concept to me,” Gryzwinski said with a chuckle.
And Gryswinski’s early misperceptions are one reason that Dan libby, a co-founder of the Veterans Yoga Project, said the 12 week yoga training for treating vets with PTSD tries to strip all the new-agey stuff out.
“We really emphasize, ‘leave all the Sanskrit names at home, right. Leave the candles at home, don’t talk about you know moonbeams and chakras and all these things,’” he said. “It’s really just about learning about your body and your experience; learning to breathe.”
M
Yoga’s not usually the first thing that springs to mind when thinking about treatment for post traumatic stress disorder in veterans. But from the Veterans Administration to the Pentagon, yoga classes are becoming not just commonplace, but in some rehabilitation programs mandatory.
One of the places in the forefront of change is the Newington Yoga Center, in Newington, Connecticut.
About 20 veterans train to become yoga teachers. Suzanne Manafort of the Veterans Yoga Project, said what began as a small project has burgeoned into programs across the country. Manafort taught yoga for years before using it as a treatment for PTSD. She said she had no idea she might need to make adjustments to her teaching, until she made mistakes.
“Touching is a mistake. In yoga classes we touch all the time. But to somebody whose been sexually assaulted that’s a huge violation. Walking behind them is a huge mistake because it feels like they have to pay attention to what’s going on in the room instead of just practicing their yoga practice,” Manafort said.
She said ultimately it was veterans themselves that guided her, in some cases just by the courage it took simply to stay in class.
“Some of the men and women that I work with are Vietnam Veterans so they’ve been at home suffering for 40 years,” said Manafort. “And when they come into this treatment program and they’re told they have to do yoga, ‘they’re like are you kidding me?’”
“I thought it was a joke,” said Vietnam veteran Paul Gryzwinski. “And I remembered actually laughing out loud and they said no we’re really not kidding you’re going to be going to yoga.”
Gryzwinski is training to teach yoga to veterans. Many years after returning from the war, PTSD hit him hard. He ended up turning to the VA. Where he first encountered yoga.
“And I just thought of myself in like, tights with you know a bunch of women. And I know that sounds sexist – and I’m not, so forgive me – but it was such an alien concept to me,” Gryzwinski said with a chuckle.
And Gryswinski’s early misperceptions are one reason that Dan libby, a co-founder of the Veterans Yoga Project, said the 12 week yoga training for treating vets with PTSD tries to strip all the new-agey stuff out.
“We really emphasize, ‘leave all the Sanskrit names at home, right. Leave the candles at home, don’t talk about you know moonbeams and chakras and all these things,’” he said. “It’s really just about learning about your body and your experience; learning to breathe.”
M
Thanks :) I too felt they were written for me and same with other books I have read. :)
I can truly attest to ticked choices of books to get into. Only a few books have I found before recovery that I felt were actually written just for me, but the more I find, the more personal a lot of the books feel.....
Great comment ticked....Thank you so much
M
Great comment ticked....Thank you so much
M
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have almost been made to be silent and fight what happened to me alone. It is like the secret has to stay a secret no matter what pain my father put me through. It angers me to no end.
I read a book that has helped me really deal with many things that have happened to me. Actually 2.
The first one was Toxic parents. I really started to see how I was angry more at my dad than my mother who enabled his behavior and stood by him. This book made me really see that I was really angry at my mother and that she is too blame just as much for allowing it to happen to begin with.
As for the other book its called Discovering your inner child. It has really help me discover the child in me that was forced into hiding during all of the abuse and it teaches you how to love and nurture that child. It helped me unlock and release all the pain that I was in for all of these years and has helped me move on with my life knowing my feelings and emotions will never be validated by them. As much as it hurts I understand now that I dont need the validation. I know it happened and I am hurt but in the end these people go to their grave with what they have done and that is for them to live with not us. We can move on even though it takes time.
I read a book that has helped me really deal with many things that have happened to me. Actually 2.
The first one was Toxic parents. I really started to see how I was angry more at my dad than my mother who enabled his behavior and stood by him. This book made me really see that I was really angry at my mother and that she is too blame just as much for allowing it to happen to begin with.
As for the other book its called Discovering your inner child. It has really help me discover the child in me that was forced into hiding during all of the abuse and it teaches you how to love and nurture that child. It helped me unlock and release all the pain that I was in for all of these years and has helped me move on with my life knowing my feelings and emotions will never be validated by them. As much as it hurts I understand now that I dont need the validation. I know it happened and I am hurt but in the end these people go to their grave with what they have done and that is for them to live with not us. We can move on even though it takes time.
Dear Sister,
Yes, wanting answers was very important to me at one time. I wanted to make a time map of the day the happiness died and relied on my dad to tell me for my own satisfaction .....Unfortunately he could not tell me, his only reply was " There were just too many of you kids to keep track of just one"....I was just wild then. Too many of us??? Whose fault was that...For years that was my mantra...Too many of us. I was not even important in the tribe, I was just someone in the tribe of 10 children. and felt my self esteem plunge even lower.
Today that has changed for me. My main family is dying off, all that is left are a few of the children from my tribe who don't remember me at all from their childhood because of the age differences. Because I could no longer rely on any ones answers about me and my life, I had to start recovering as my own memories and my own life swirled around me. I had to make a peace with the past,and the present if I wanted a decent sane future...And that is what I brought to my first session in Sept of 2012.
With my mothers death in June of 2012 I started crying and mourning the past that only I remembered ....No one else had any maps for me. I journaled, cried, meditated, listened to tapes, reflective music, cried, journeled, talked, wrote here, and at the time it seemed forever, but now I am getting healthier and stronger.
I know Sister what you are going through. I am sorry you too have not found any answers through your mother, but want you to know that you do have all the answers. You really do.
Are you still in counseling and do you do any alternative work with yourself during this recovery....I feel a bond with you because of our similar histories, and really send Blessings and Best Wishes to you on your journey....Thank you for your imput and I hope to hear from you in the future.....
M
Yes, wanting answers was very important to me at one time. I wanted to make a time map of the day the happiness died and relied on my dad to tell me for my own satisfaction .....Unfortunately he could not tell me, his only reply was " There were just too many of you kids to keep track of just one"....I was just wild then. Too many of us??? Whose fault was that...For years that was my mantra...Too many of us. I was not even important in the tribe, I was just someone in the tribe of 10 children. and felt my self esteem plunge even lower.
Today that has changed for me. My main family is dying off, all that is left are a few of the children from my tribe who don't remember me at all from their childhood because of the age differences. Because I could no longer rely on any ones answers about me and my life, I had to start recovering as my own memories and my own life swirled around me. I had to make a peace with the past,and the present if I wanted a decent sane future...And that is what I brought to my first session in Sept of 2012.
With my mothers death in June of 2012 I started crying and mourning the past that only I remembered ....No one else had any maps for me. I journaled, cried, meditated, listened to tapes, reflective music, cried, journeled, talked, wrote here, and at the time it seemed forever, but now I am getting healthier and stronger.
I know Sister what you are going through. I am sorry you too have not found any answers through your mother, but want you to know that you do have all the answers. You really do.
Are you still in counseling and do you do any alternative work with yourself during this recovery....I feel a bond with you because of our similar histories, and really send Blessings and Best Wishes to you on your journey....Thank you for your imput and I hope to hear from you in the future.....
M
I also was abused as a child in the 60's. When I had a series of breakdowns a few years ago I began counseling. I talked to my mother about how the psychiatrist said he and I needed to talk about my father's abuse. Mom's response was "I wouldn't to that.". Obviously her pride and secretiveness was more important than my mental health. She divorced Dad when I was 15, and then her favorite saying to me was "I should have left your daddy when you were a baby.". Why? She kept repeating this but would never answer my question when I asked her why. I can remember my father's beatings and death threats towards me when I was in grade school, but I can't remember what he did when I was a baby, and I SURELY DON'T UNDERSTAND why my mother kept repeating something about when I was a baby, but won't explain.
Sorry for my lengthy rant. I sure do hope things get better for you. I'm so sorry people didn't believe you....just know, I do believe you and I feel for you.
Sorry for my lengthy rant. I sure do hope things get better for you. I'm so sorry people didn't believe you....just know, I do believe you and I feel for you.
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