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Beach "True Story"
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Beach "True Story"

So the other day I had court downtown.  I was so anxious that I paid no attention to where I was parking.  I walked off into an alley and came out the other side across the street from the court house.  I walked out from court on the "other wrong sided" of the building with my Atty talking and not paying attention.  All dressed up with 2" heal boots on to most this would mean nothing but for us with chronic back pain you know why I mention this.  I was LOST for 2.5hrs I walked around in pain, in tears, not knowing if I was coming or going.  My phone battery was dead/dying, I had locked my purse in the trunk, as to not have to carry it 'again a CP issue". I was at my end!   2 - hours and I could not take another step, i could not keep it together, I was bawling, stressed, in pain, embarrassed, just felt like a total looser that was going to die if I couldn't find my car.  I had nothing and no way of getting any help.  I had asked a few on the street but because of my crying and whinny voice they probably thought I was a crack head and were afraid of me because they just shook heads and walked away.  So the reason I am telling you all of this...
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3112530_tn?1342559764
Reading your story brings laughter and tears to my eyes. I can relate to some of the story. I love walking (never in two inch heals) but I remember days when I would walk and just forget where I was. Then the though of going back when I was in pain from the walking made me think I would never do this again. Now I have gotten a little smarter BUT still get caught up in the moment. Now a days I have to plan my days and trips which limits where I WANT to go vs WHERE I WOULD LIKE TO BE. With those thoughts in mind, I have to pull out the energy to WANT to go to the same places I have been already and make something positive out of it, so usually I bring my music and hope it is going to be a nice day. I usually come out of it jammed with energy due to my music but sorry I could not share my day and energy with someone who would understand. At least I get the satisfaction out of it.
A wonderful story and it reminds me of a saying by Kahill Gabran called 'A tear and a smile'.
32 Comments Post a Comment
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2183581_tn?1369941147
was only able to post 2k characters and after cutting my story down in half figured if i cut anymore it would not make any sense to anyone.

...

At this point, I sat in a corner somewhere on the dirty streets of downtown, crying, in pain, I was vomiting and unable to catch my breath, I sat down and I went to the beach I sat on the shore line, I smelt, tasted, felt, breathed, all of it.I even picked up the sand with my hands and rubbed it together to watch it slowly flow through my fingertips. People I am sure thought I was nuts!  but! after about 15minutes I was able to compose myself, get back up, look at where I was, and guess what?  I found my car! Yes I did it took me 2.5 hours after getting out of court but I found my car.  Opened the trunk got my purse and sat inside just breathing, catching my breath and thanking OM for my moment at the beach and helping myself to find my car.  This is a TRUE story and OMG not a feeling I ever want to have again.  Turns out the parking lot is not off of an alley and that is what messed me up because I didn't look around when I stopped I was turned around and walking for hours.
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Sorry you had to go through that, some people can be so uncaring at times. It sounds like your suffering from severe back problems, you need to get a spine doctor to get an MRI of your back. But because of your severe pain issues you are also suffering from anxiety and deppresion. I know because I also suffer from these because of my neck an back pain. You also need to wear proper shoes from now on.
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2183581_tn?1369941147
Are you new to the forum?
Thank you for your empathy, it is very welcoming and endearing. My story is long.   I have seen several doctors in my time. And had several procedures. Comfortable shoes yes they are a good idea for this particular situation it was not viable I was not planning to walk for hours and it was important to me to look professional as I once did. Again long story. I thank you for your response and your empathy. I hope you are doing well today, having a low pain, great day!
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Avatar_m_tn
hello samantha and welcome to our group. I will second motowngirl and say that that advice and little bit of help you offered is appreciated. Posting is the name of the game and how we ll help each other out. So thanks for posting.  
     You might like to read some of the threads here and see if they interest you. And let me say that one major thing we all try to do (and do not always succeed at----humans all!)  Is To Not Be Judgmental of each other as far as that is possible. Support--yes. Advice---yes. Judgments----maybe not a good idea.  OK?  
   again welcome and we all hope you stay around samantha.   omhome
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Avatar_m_tn
i hope this story will help many of you to believe that these techniques work if you will remember to use them. That's a biggie---remembering during the storm (of emotions--energy--fear---confusion--etc.) to center on your chosen technique---on what you have practiced--and to pause and give yourself just a moment.
       And i think motown has done this sort of thing before---some "focus muscle" building. We use the same principal as muscle builders use. Just consider neurons and their connections and pathways in  the brain are like muscle fibers in your arm and slowly Build those connections you have chosen that center you---that take you back to your inner oasis---your anchor in a storm--your "Beach".  Everybody Post!   om
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Avatar_m_tn
motown--this beautiful story--well written and expressed-shared deserves---Deserves to be seen so bump it up to the top every now and then   inspiration for those like us (we have similar inner experiences of that "lost" feeling--and how we get back to the beach!) inspiration for sure. You others help her keep it where people see it.  OK??  Please.    omhome
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2183581_tn?1369941147
Thanks OM,
Wanting to keep my story up at the top, viewable, accessible for people to see is a wonderful compliment. Thank you!

I do hope that it helps somebody someday. I know that from now on I do have it in me. To be able to sit down and stop an anxiety attack is Meijer for me it is such an accomplishment to do that without any help with out any drugs. And to be able to solve my crisis at the moment was an amazing feeling. Thank you for helping me how to get here. I have been practicing daily but have not been on the forum, have not been posting much lately. Glad to see you are still around smiles
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2183581_tn?1369941147
Oh and I wanted to add as far as your comment as being well written.. i have to laugh because I cut so much out of that story trying to get it to fit before I decided to cut it in half and make it 2 postings. It was a little more comical with the additional adverbs that I used.
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3112530_tn?1342559764
Reading your story brings laughter and tears to my eyes. I can relate to some of the story. I love walking (never in two inch heals) but I remember days when I would walk and just forget where I was. Then the though of going back when I was in pain from the walking made me think I would never do this again. Now I have gotten a little smarter BUT still get caught up in the moment. Now a days I have to plan my days and trips which limits where I WANT to go vs WHERE I WOULD LIKE TO BE. With those thoughts in mind, I have to pull out the energy to WANT to go to the same places I have been already and make something positive out of it, so usually I bring my music and hope it is going to be a nice day. I usually come out of it jammed with energy due to my music but sorry I could not share my day and energy with someone who would understand. At least I get the satisfaction out of it.
A wonderful story and it reminds me of a saying by Kahill Gabran called 'A tear and a smile'.
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Avatar_m_tn
very beautiful madman and thank you for trying to keep the thread going. And where is everybody else who professed interest and desire to help???Let's keep the "class" and associated threads Active. Up to you guys?   I love you guys where are you?   Omhome
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Avatar_m_tn
i would love to bring this story to the couch---anybody want to do that---i would just lose it in cyberspace for sure!!!  om
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Avatar_m_tn
this a perfect example of real  Pain Management and how we can do it and how it works.  IT WORKS you guys-----come to class!  om
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3112530_tn?1342559764
Well, the Thanksgiving holidays are over with and I can actually say I enjoyed them for the first time in years. My former years have been filled with drama, family problems and a lot of deaths. Trying to put this all behind me has been rough. In my selfishness, I did not celebrate the holidays because they brought back too many memories for me. I did not think about the others around me who wanted to celebrate the holidays. My caregiver who is the only family I have left, has 'tolerated' my selfishness and complained very little with understanding but reminded me this year, that I have to remember to let go once in a while. I never saw this from his point of view but I was too self absorbed in my pain and creating my own drama.
Well that is behind me now and Thanksgiving was wonderful. Quiet, and sensible and with food that I have not eaten in a long time. Two days after Thanksgiving I took out the Christmas decorations and started decorating the house. I still have a lot to do but the start has really got me in the mood. I have shopping to do for my caregiver and he has already done his for me. Now all I have to do is to get him to wrap the presents and help me with the decorating. Now is the challenge. He thinks I let him off the hook by just pulling out the tree but this is going to be a good year, in spite of all the medical treatments I still have to undergo but that is not the thought at present.
My thoughts are on the present and to let go of the selfishness I had created and learn to share and be thankful for what I can share with others. To see a smile that maybe I can create for someone who has done SO MUCH for me.
It may be hard to remember what it is that I am supposed to do for these holidays but I am sure I can find a way to remember. This year I hope to focus on doing something for someone else and be thankful for what has been done for me.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank you for that madman. Two inspirational stories for Free!!~  Yes!Yes!Yes!
     thank you madman and the same right back at you. My teacher's favorite word was "remember" as in remember just those things you shared madman.
  We remember our way home to that less selfish and more open spirit we truly are underneath all the negative conditioning we have been programmed with form "baby" until Now.  Most of the "props" used by all the religions are for the purpose of Remembering. Bells---candle light----music---mantras----and anything we decide to use to remember can bring us back to ourSelves.
   Season of light!! Share----not so much the material stuff as the Stuff of those
Selves--share our hearts!!! OK everybody Now  darn it folks Post--i am trying not to but i am getting impatient and frustrated with some of you not helping the energy here. I see you post everywhere else--???
    What i have shared so far is just the beginning steps and So Much More is to come after these important beginning steps. You can learn to go home to that Self--to that inner place we are building the foundation of---and stay there more often. You can learn to sense the pain but Not Suffer from it.
     It is up to you guys. I am curious to see any response--spread the word OK??   Omhome
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Avatar_m_tn
someone else please help keep this story where folks can see it---it is truly an answer to your hopes for some help with anxiety and pain issues. Help me help you guys---and if you are tired of omhome Well say so and post! If ya want more Well say so and post!
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2183581_tn?1369941147
Sorry I have not been posting. After Thanksgiving I have had a serious flair up and my pain levels are very high, migraines are back with a vengence. So my appologies. I will try to post some positive and some more post.

Om I have been using and practicing your techniques and keeping and open mind body and spirit. Trying to focus on only the goo, only the positive. Madman I have been using your music therapy for at least an hour a day. With the migraines it has been hard, but I am working on it.  just wanted to post a quick note. Let you know I am reading bits here and there and working. Just please be patient with me. We have court again on Friday so keep me in your prayers for that and then a quick trip to AZ for my sister in laws 60 bday... 12 hrs there and 12 hrs back leaving Friday after court. Car trips are really hard on me so not sure how I will be when I return but will post and let you all know how it went.  Thanks again for your support.... Positive thoughts to come I promise.
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3112530_tn?1342559764
Trying to post a reply and can't get through. Constantly being kicked to another reply message. WHY?
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3112530_tn?1342559764
Lets, try this again., I am trying to post a message of support for this lady who is going through the stress of her life and what lies ahead of her. I posted this big long story of some of the issues that I experienced in my life but I guess that story was not to be for what ever the reason.
For now, I will just say that we are here for you and hope you can build the strength you need to deal with your situation and then tell us all about it. Your experiences that I have read have been inspirational to me and I look forward to learning what you have accomplished in dealing with this strength factor.
Look for you late when you have the time.
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2183581_tn?1369941147
Just a quick note just logged on for a min or two between appointments here.  When My post are two long it just kicks me off with no  real reason.  Try breaking your post in half cut/paste kinds thing.  It worked for me after an hour of cutting my story down and not know why nothing I would post would actually show up.  I am not sure on the work count/Character count.  But it is a thought.  If you are using a smart phone or ipad it is really hard because I hve several hours of fustration under my belt on that one too.  So try smaller post and do several if needed just keep'em short.  Just a thought.
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Avatar_m_tn
you know that is the only thing that has worked for me (post in notebook and save) but i keep forgetting and then Pay The Price .  I don't know what i am doing wrong?? omhome
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Avatar_m_tn
this is such an inspiring group of people posting here. Let us all know how you experience the "feel" of this thread (as we weave our tapestry of tricks). Please keep it in view for new folks to see ok?   omhome
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Avatar_m_tn
well it happened to me again --i forgot to do it-=--motown is right ---short and save and short and save or ya mite lose it.
     someone else post in
     please
     om
     home
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2183581_tn?1369941147
Alright i thought I would try to post an update on this post. So last week we went back to court for our son and this time I parked at a Smart and Final parking lot as to not repeat the previous incident. 'Gotta giggle'.  Court could not have gone better! We were elated! Didn't loose the car! Wonderful day so far...  My husband and I decided to go shopping for some new furniture.  We are looking for a new bed. Needless to say we all know I am on this site due to pain and back issuez. We were enjoying each other and shopping. Needless to say between walking, sitting in the court room, driving and getting in and out of beds my back and legs were getting very sore and weak. I just didnt realize how weak and sore.  I laid down in a bed to try it out, thought it was very comfortable, as i lay there my hubby ran off to look at something.  I could not for the life of me get up outta this bed it was one of those tempur beds that dont move when you do.... so, I am laying in a store no one around wondering how the heck ima get out of this bed. Laughing in my head, breathing trying to make sure I don't loose my cool. I attempt to roll out and roll myself right onto the floor in the doggie position and of course get stuck I couldn't move. I dont about u but I know I get very stiff after just a few minutes of not moving and it takes a few minutes to get going.  Needless to say I was rocking back and forth to get momentum to get up and of course my husband comes back with the salesman!!! After what seemed like eternity to get me up off the floor we ran out giggling like teenagers I was so embarrassed I will NEVER go back and back to square one in trying to find a new bed...  I guess you really had to be there but it was very comical.
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2183581_tn?1369941147
I do have to say the breathing and the 'beach' saved me once again!!! I think that I am getting the hang of this and find myself breathing much deeper and able to stay calm in many situations that previously i would just avoid or loose it in....  So it is working! Thank you so much for the support the teachings and the eye openers...   Oh, and my morning funnies!
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Avatar_m_tn
motowngirl!    !!!   !!!!   Yep!  I love your story and i see the bed and you and the whole thing because of the wonderful flow and naturalness of your writing style. I've read all your posts and Hey Let's make a book out of them----The MedHelp Chronicles!---Motown Madness (with a guest appearance from --that's right-- MadMan!------) .
     Sooooooo---keep practicing everybody as you now can have confidence that it works out in real life!
     ----More is to come!! Yep. Get's more and more powerful as you practice. You can choose which thought to bring to the surface and into daily life and you can choose to Not bring to the surface the conditioned negative ****. Really. More about that later---for now deepen the focus on pauses of the3 breath---don't "cause" them just rest in them.  Expand and elongate them.  Be creative. Watch.        OK Later with all that . Practice going deeper.    omhome
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2183581_tn?1369941147
Hello I have been practicing going deeper. It is scary. I am going to have to psych myself up a little more. That's all I have to say for now. But thanks for sticking in there.
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Avatar_m_tn
it can be a little scary motown as it is unfamiliar--weird huh because it feels  good. Just breathe-center--focus---relax more each ahhhh exhale--etc. yep you breathe right thru it. And then when it gets scary just back up a little if ya want or chant or say yes yes yes---hell go get a drink!  HA!!
    Hey everybody else when you read this remember you can use what worked for motown in your own real life when you have bad pain episodes or domestic squabbles or are just sitting and enjoying "beingness"--"isness" 'aliveness" and vibrancy!  Remember is the trick. Remember to practice (even when ya feel fine--anytime). Remember to use it. And remember to ask omhome for another lesson once you have been practicing the "tricks" already shared.  OK? Remember?
      Remember how it feels to be excited and inspired and self-generate that feeling now----or when you can remember. Enough already om. God!
  Ok. So i forget what i was going to say---Ha!     Omhome
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Avatar_m_tn
this is a story that could inspire all of you to learn what motowngirl is doing and how to learn to do that and similar "tricks" to significantly help yourselves. I just do not "Get" why more of you do not seem interested! Post when you like what someone took the time to share with you in hopes of being some little bit of help.    I kow you are in pain and as a pain-partner i love you no matter--ok?   Omhome
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Avatar_m_tn
hey motown are you still practicing every day. Let me know your practice and i can start adding some things that will help even more! Truly. When you are focusing on the pause between the breaths begin to notice when a thought "bubble" begins to rise up towards the surface of your consciousness . Just notice--don't care what the thought is--just that it is a thought ok? The "Game" is to observe that thought earlier and earlier in the formulation process.   See how that works and let me know what happens ok?
      The rest of you who are practicing can start this too---but don't skip the preliminary stuff---the foundation. Do that and then you can observe the thoughts. Again---don't skip ahead. And of course important to post back with what happens for you.  Alright!!  Now do it!    omhome
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Avatar_m_tn
anybody else understand the deeper significance of what motown shares in this story? And the possibilities of this simple technique?
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Avatar_m_tn
if you want to know how to do this come over to the pain couch and check out alternatives to just medication.
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Avatar_m_tn
ok  ok i know but this needs another chance for some response!   om
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