I don't have a pain face?

[willowed]

I have had 12 abdominal surgeries to remove cysts from my ovaries and to have adhesions removed. I had my last surgery in 2007 removing my last tube and ovary which could not be done until they cut my appendix out since everything was stuck together by adhesions I was pain free for two weeks and now have severe chronic pain 24/7 and now have severe diverticulitis and am still being told the pain is all in my head. By far the most hurtful comment came from my p.c.p. when I went to her in excruciating pain and was told I don't have a pain face! Why even with all my medical history am I being called a liar? I spend all day every day in my tempupedic hospital style bed and have no quality of life is there anything I can do to get people to understand that what Iam feeling is real and Iam desperate for answers and some form of pain management that will allow me to get my life back.

[NoMoMeth4me]

All your words ring true, when I read things like this it brings it all back for me also, and also reminds me of what I will face in the future as will anybody who deals with long term severe chronic pain.

As people come to know us they learn that our pain is real and that we don't choose to suffer just for the fun of it. With Docs it's painfully true, they ARE skeptical of patients, it's the 2% of abusers that spoil it for the 98% of patients that truly need the help. Even my PCP mentioned to me at my last appt as he was writing me a script for fentanyl. He told me about one of his patients that is faking, negative x-rays, negative MRI's etc, etc.........Of course to me that doesn't mean that this persons pain isn't real but my PCP did.

At times I've told him I felt he doubted me, I have always been open and upfront and have worked to develop a relationship with him and have let him know when he's made me feel uneasy or uncomfortable and it has always had a positive outcome.
Tuck is exactly right about 'finding' the right PCP or PMP.... It means EVERYTHING.
Have you asked your Dr if she is questioning your pain? It's perfectly ok for you to ask that or any question for that matter. Her answer will tell you if you are in the right place or not.
It's sad, but there are MANY in the medical field who are NOT understanding and nurturing, many couldn't even spell the word empathy, let alone understand it's meaning. There are also many WONDERFUL men and women out there in the medical profession and when you find one, you will just know it and will stay with them.
I would encourage you to be your own best advocate and tell your Doctor how it made you feel when she said you don't have a pain face, she may have not even known she hurt you with that comment?

As for the pain being in our heads........It kind of is, by that I mean that long term pain has to be treated with a total mind/body approach, chronic pain causes depression and anxiety and other mental issues, that's the part of it that's in our head's, I never ever looked at it this way until I went to a month long in-patient pain management program where I was lucky enough to learn a lot more about chronic pain.
I would 'HIGHLY' recommend a PMP to anyone dealing with long term chronic pain.
Keep us posted on your progress.
Keep posting here, there are MANY great people on MH who listen and not judge and who can relate to you. It has been a Godsend for me.
Best regards.
-Brian.

[Tuckamore]

Hello Willowed,

Welcome to the Pain Management Forum. I am sorry to hear about all your pain and surgeries. I have heard almost the exact same thing. When I asked my current PCP why I had not been believed for so long one of the things she said was, "Because you look too good and you put on a smiling face to please others."

I am very blessed to have a PCP that could see through my "happy face" and believed and diagnosed my pain In my opinion it is time for you to find another PCP. It is a well known fact that surgical removal of adhesion's frequently cause even more adhesions. If your PCP does not beleive you he/she can do you more harm than good.

I would suggest that you see a PMP but if your PCP is recording that your pain is doubtful or that you are a malinger, a PMP may beleive the same. That is exactly what happened in to me. So run, don't walk from our PCP and find someone that will beleive you. You deserve to be heard and treated.

Good luck to you. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.
Peace, Tuck