Update from OB appointment

[adgal]

Well, I just got home, and sadly it is not great news.  My initial Beta/HCG (blood taken yesterday) was only 19.  I am also spotting a bit heavier (now there is a little on my pantyliner), although it is still brown.  Now, she said it could be a later ovulation than I thought, late implantation, or just what she called a "slow starter", so she is not calling it a miscarriage yet.  I am having blood drawn again tomorrow, and will have those results friday morning.  But, with the low no. and the spotting, I am being realistic, it's not good.  I am actually ok.  Sad of course and a bit ticked off, but at least I am still conceiving.  It still happens quickly for us, with the exception of the time I spent on the chlomide.  She feels I am one of those 20% of women who have a negative reaction to it.  I asked about other options, such as donor eggs, but she doesn't feel it's time to take that step yet...lol, she said "Amanda, your only 40"...God, I love her!!  I think I told some of you, she herself miscarried 4 times prior to having her first child at 41. She really gets it.  I am still trying to be positive, maybe this number will start to rise dramatically.  I mean, my first FRER was so faint, has progressively gotten darker and that digital this morning is rated at 25 HCG, so maybe that means the level has risen from yesterday.  I will know friday morning.  And ladies, I can still get pregnant, so I am going to hold onto that!  I am NOT going to be defeated!!!!!!  It may be crazy, but I am not prepared to give up yet, I am just not.  Thanks for being so supportive, I will keep you posted!!  Love you guys, Amanda

[prevatt77]

My first HCG with Gavin was 32 and then when to 10,535 2 days later, then thought I was having twins, thank God it was only one.  Stay positive and keep me posted.  I won't be back on until Monday.  Going into the hospital for surgery and they are keeping me til Monday.  Please, Please call me when you find something out.

Love ya,
Debbie

[pcarsey]

I was 3 weeks 5 days pg and my 1st hcg level was 40.41  2 days later it was 93.53.

[Juliaschill]

They waiting *****!!!  I will be wishing for a really great number!! hang in there and if you need to vent just let me know.Julia

[adgal]

Thank you all again. I just had the second blood test, and should have the results around 9:30 tomorrow morning.  I am pretty scared, but this just isn't in my hands now.  Meli...your first HCG with Parisa was only 19?  Do you mind if I ask how many DPO you were?  This blood test was 16 DPO (as best I can tell).  Were you spotting at all?  Peek told me today about a friend of hers who's first HCG was only 13, then all of a sudden took off.  I am hoping that is the case here as well.  The waiting is the worst for sure.  I just want to know so that I can do what I need to do.  Thanks for all the support, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it.  XO  Amanda

[40smama]

Amanda - I just now got on the computer and saw your post - you hang in there!  Like all of your other friends, I'm pulling for you & LOVE your attitude - I could have used some of that perspective when I was ttc - you WILL make a great mommy! - jen

[melimeli]

I couldn't get pg on clomid either it thinned my lining.. did injectables and got pg my second cycle.. good luck.. my first hcg was 19 and she is now 11 months

[usuk]

Hang in there Amanda. I am praying for you.

[etts172]

Amanda,

I am so sorry you are going through this again. Don't worry God is watching you right now because you have a big heart. She will keep an eye on you. Don't give up!

Love,
Etts

[blueeyedtabbycat]

I am so sorry you are going through this after just reciving such exciting news:(  I will be thinking about you and your little bean and praying that this one sticks!! Keep us updated, I hope I hear good news:)

[Juliaschill]

Just wanted to stop in and say I am praying for you and your little one, I don't know you but have loved ready all of your post, you have a way with words that put people at easy. I think you will be a wonderful mother and how lucky any child will be to be able to call you mother! God must just be picking out a very special child for you so it is taking a little while for the perfect one, Hope this one will be it.  You are very strong and loving and I do so hope that this turns out well for you, God bless you and your little bean!  Best wishes Julia

[Leatha]

I just read you post Amanda, your thoughts are everything, so keep focused on the outcome.  I truly believe we create our own reality through our thoughts.  Keep the faith and things will go your way.

[pcarsey]

You hang in there lil bean, mommy and daddy have lovingly and patiently waited for you!!

I think you implanted late. I'm still keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers as always!

Big hugs Sista!!

[SoCalTricia]

Oh, don't give me TOO much credit. We have a travel trailer, so I have a nice, comfy queen-sized bed with a regular mattress, a stove and fridge, hot water and a shower. I'm not roughing it at ALL. LOL. I spent the first 25 years of my life roughing it when we went camping...which is why I have an RV now. ;-)

Tricia

[oceanv]

Hi,
I just wanted to say I hope everything turns out with this pregnancy.  I think its amazing that you can so positive for others on the list while dealing with your own trials and tribulations.

I had the brown discharge at six weeks and it didn't turn out to be anything, brown is okay sometimes in the scheme of things, although emotionally discharge of any color is not a welcome site in your underwear during pregnancy.

Here's hoping you have a slow starter,
Joanne

[adgal]

Yvette, I hear you.  I have had some BFPS start out with really strong numbers, then wham!!  I know you are using a donor egg, and I asked about it, but my OB said she really doesn't want to try that for a year.  So I am on the list to get into the Fertility Clinic (IVF clinic) in a year.  It takes that long to get in anyway.  Hopefully I have to cancel, because I really don't want to wait a year for a healthy pregnancy.  But I will absolutely take that route if that's what happens. No, it would appear I fall into that 20% catagory that chlomide has a negative effect on.  I have conceived literally every 3 cycles or so, except while I was on that.  Femera is not FDA approved in Canada, so illegal to use here.  I will ask about other options at my next appointment. Today I only really asked about IVF with donor eggs. My OB feels I will be able to carry a pregnancy, its just a bunch of bad luck. She won't call this one a loss yet, so there is hope, although I am trying to be realistic.  

Tricia, your going camping????  Good God girl, you are my hero!!  When I got this BFP I told DH no air mattress for me this year, he is on his own!!  lol.  

[SoCalTricia]

I just signed on and saw your post and my stomach lurched! BUT...like you said, there's still some hope! The rotund diva has not sung her last aria yet, my love. You know what is a downer? I'm leaving to go camping tomorrow night, so I won't be able to read what happens until SUNDAY! Ack! What will I DOOOO????

Love ya,
Tricia

[YvetteY]

I'm sorry Amanda...I know exactly how you feel....it's so frustrating.  That was my story with my hcg levels 3/5 times.   I'd be so excited and they would say it's only 11 or 15 or something low like that.  Then other hcg levels would be great and then those ones failed!!   I could get pregnant easy but then it just wouldn't continue!   I was just so frustrating.   It got to the point that the hcg level didn't even mean anything to me.

Did you say you didn't react well to clomid?   Maybe you could try something else like femera?   Or try some injectibles and IUI or timed intercourse.   Maybe you'll have a better shot with 4 eggs vs 1?   Althought I'm not really sure what you're doing to TTC.    But I wish you the best of luck.  

[kmgr32]

Amanda,
You are inspirational.  I LOVE your attitude and am cheering loudly for you every step of the way.  I am also not going to say sorry yet as things can drastically change in a day or two.   I'm hoping and praying for your numbers to sky rocket over the next couple of days.
Hang in there my friend!  It WILL happen for you. I just know it.
Love to you!
Kara

[adgal]

Thanks guys. I really am staying hopeful here.  I started thinking about it (over analyzing..lol).  I read a bunch of posts about FRER.  One women said it picked up a positive for her, she had blood drawn the same day, and it was a 4!!  I found lots of stories like that.  So my first positive was 12DPO (I was negative 10DPO). If it was say only a 5 at 12DPO, then it should be around 10 sunday, and only 20 yesterday.  I know, I can't get my hopes up to high as this is definately 50/50 at best, but I am going to hope for the best.  I mean, even my OB wasn't ready to call it a miscarriage.  She didn't give me false hope either, but she did say we had to see what tomorrow's blood draw said. If the numbers haven't increased I will stop the progesterone and it is far to early to need a D&C or anything.  So at least it will be easier on my physically.  She also gave me 2 extra requisitions for next week.  So if the numbers have increased tomorrow, then I am to go again monday and wed. next week.  And in all honesty, if this doesn't move forward, I would rather know now then at 6 or 8  or 10 weeks.  Whatever the case, I know I can conceive, and rather easily it seems (as long as I stay off the clomid).  So although I will of course be sad for a bit,  I will be ok.  

Thanks everyone.  Talking about this with those that understand helps so much.  You are all so supportive and I truly am grateful for all of you.  XO

[momof8215]

You already know how I feel about all of this...I am pulling for you and praying really hard that this will all work out!!! Try to relax...that is always easier said than done but it does wonders for the body. If your uptight, so is that littl bean. Breathe girl and I believe all will be great!!  

XOXOXOXXO Dawn

[prevatt77]

You better not give up hope yet.  Gavin was a very slow HCG climber also.  My numbers moved very slow with him, but I just stayed positive and prayed and everything worked out for me.  I myself had 4 miscarriages and delivered at 41, just like your doctor and it happened for me and it will happen for you too. Stay strong and positive and I bet your numbers will jump like crazy come Friday.  Try and relax and take your mind off it.  It will take forever for Friday to get hear, but I believe you will be posting great news come Friday.

Take care and call me if you want to talk.

Love Ya,
Debbie

[tbeards]

I didn't know you had a new thread and I was dying to find out the news on your other thread. While feeding a baby I would go over to my laptop and hit refresh. LOL

IMHO, I think you have nothing to worry about right now. If your beta was 19 with yesterday's blood and it doubles every other day, tomorrow's blood would be around 40 so today's would have been in the middle at 30 thus the Digital picking it up today. My beta was 60 with my dd and everything was A-OK there (15 days post 5 day blast transfer). Just one day off could skew the numbers (i.e. today's blood at 30, Saturday's at 60, etc.).

I love your attitude though ; ) You are such a positive person you deserve this so much. I am also really happy for you that you can get pregnant pretty easy.

~t

[SuzM]

My thoughts are exactly the same as Pam's. This waiting game has to be so hard on you. Hang in there, dear.

[Prayerful2528]

Hang on in there my friend.  All things are possible to those who can believe.  No matter what the outcome may be on Friday, which we are all hoping and believing for the best.  Please don't lose that positive attitude you have.  I will continue to lift you up to our Heavenly Father knowing his will, will be done!  Remember you don't have to stress or worry I have that part for you, as you have done so many times for me.  Take care of yourself and relax...

Love Ya
Yolanda