vasectomy vs. tubal

[blueeyedtabbycat]

The title pretty much says it all. I need some advise from my MH friends here. I cant take much more of this mirena. DH say absolutly no more kids but I keep saying that you never know what the future holds. What one is more easily reversed?? Cost of either, what is better?? Experiance with either of them??? I really dont want to go the tubal route but if DH wont get the vasectomy I might have to. I dont want to do any other type of BC as I am sick of the hormones and headaches and weight gain. We have tried a bunch of diffrent bc's over the last 13 years but have mainly relied on the pullout method. That has worked very well for us but I think DH might be suffering because of it. He always gets pains in his balls after wards and on other occations from holding it off.  I am not ready to say Im done have kids forever. But I need to get this damn mirena out.
I supoose we could go without BC since we havent had sex in months (sorry tmi) but......................
Any advise would be great!!
Thanks,
Tabitha

[blueeyedtabbycat]

nola- thank you but I dont think that would work for us. It just sounds like to much work to me and I am so busy I would forget and end up pregnant, lol
Heather- thank you. I guess I never really planned on going through with it.  I love the idea of the mirena. No period, no worries for 5 years. I mean it would be perfect if I didnt feel like crap all the time. I cant wait to have it taken out. I wonder if the relief will be immediate?? Hmmm.........
Do we ever "know" we are done having babies?? Or is there always that nagging in the back of our minds reminding us that maybe??? I just wish I could be happy with the 4 I have:~( Well for now I guess I dont have a choice, I am done..............................for now:~)

[Heather3418]

NEVER have a tubal ligation is you have the SLIGHTEST doubt about wanting another baby. (I know Tricia agrees with me)  I had my tubes tied at age 27 and it's a decision I still regret to this day and now I am in my fifties.  (Sorry for what looks like yelling, I only do that when I want to emphasize a thought.)  

I say if hubby wants no more children, than he should go ahead with the vasectomy.  It's much easier to get sperm from a man, even after a vasectomy, if he ever changes his mind.  The doctor's can collect sperm from above the operative site and you can be artificially inseminated.

Alot of people have trouble with Mirena.  I actually looked for it to be taken off the market, one day very soon.  I know you will feel so much better when you have it taken out.

I hope it all works out for the both of you.

All the best,
Heather from the MS Forum

[nola0805]

Just throwing my two cents in about other options.  I have also been limited in what birth control I can use for lots of urological reasons.  What I have used effectively for the last 10 years is the same one we do for conceiving - I track my ovulation with ovulation monitor (I used the saliva microscope) and abstained the week I was fertile.  This may be an option at least while you guys talk about this more.  I agree with everyone else that I would really hesitate to make a permanent move now, especially when you are pretty sure you at least don't want the door closed. Good luck!!

[blueeyedtabbycat]

I am not going through with it, but DH is going to get snipped, I guess. He has stated over and over that he is done. I know in my heart im not so.........In the mean time I might try the diaphram. Never used one of those before. Can you feel them???
The future is unwritten and I keep telling DH that but I cant change his mind. He doesnt have insurance right now so he will get snipped when he does but he is waiting on it to kick in from his new job.
I might just change his mind yet:~D

[SoCalTricia]

What about a diaphram? If I had it to do over again, that's what I would choose. Sounds like you're in the same situation as me regarding your sex life...and, honestly, for as often as it happens, the diaphram wouldn't be inconvenient. Surgical sterilization is such a permanent choice and, well, you know my feelings about it. There are no circumstances under which I'd EVER get it done again. If only I could turn back the clock.

[blueeyedtabbycat]

Rachel, condoms arent an option. DH claims up and down he is allergic. The whole time we dated he complained. When we both finally went in and got checked we ditched them.
meliemi, I dont know if the copper would work for me. I think my body knows there is something forien in my body. I feel like my body is trying to expel it if that makes any sence. My lower belly is always achey and crampy, doesnt matter what time of month it is:~(
I just dont know what to do. DH and I talked tonight and he is soooooooo set on being done. He says absolutly no more kids. He is so stressed about money right now. We cant pay the bills as it is and I swear I wouldnt want to get pregnant right now and give him an ulcer.
I have to wait to do anything untill I get insurance so I guess I still have time to think ...................
Thank you ladies!

[melimeli]

copper iud?  thats what I have no hormones and 10 years of security!

[adgal]

I have to say, I would hold off as well.  You are both young enough that really, you have lot's of time.  No need to hurry into what really is a permanent decision either way.  Yes, both can be reversed, but it's still a risk.  There are so many options around BC, talk to your Dr. again and explore them all.  But if you are feeling the slightest bit hesitant about closing that door, then don't.  The future can hold all kinds of crazy changes.  Good luck hon!!

[oceanv]

my doctor always said you should approach either as a permanent fix.  i had the mirena as well and had to have it out at 2.5 years because of issues with pap smears (they say it wasn't that but like magic once it was out i didn't have an abnormal smear).

i had a tubal with my c-section. no more kids :)

i guess if i had to choose i would probably tell your husband to get the vasectomy done, i think the "reversal" on that is cheaper than the reversal on the tubal.

[rdh1981]

Oh Tabby! You just tell it like it is girl! No holding back with you!!! : )

I would say if there is still the slightest possibility for kids in your future then you two better stay away from the operating table!!!!! Those are both very serious procedures, yes they can be reversed! But at a high cost and could also leave you guys damaged!

I know your pain of BC, that is why I got off of it myself. I just could not handle being on it! So, here is what you can do! Track your ovulation like you would at ttc but use  it to do the opposite (to prevent)! I always stay clear from having sex for a week around the time I know I would be ovulating. I know this is not 100%, but it can be effective if done correctly!!!!! What about condoms is that an option??

I say, hold off on the surgeries!!!!!

Rachel