Irresponsible with prenatals

[Jen461]

I really need some reassurance or perspective. I appreciate that I can't have complete reassurance but I think I am irrationally living in fear and I need to hear things could be ok for my pregnancy. I am 7 weeks pregnant after icsi. In the months beforehand I was incredibly stressed out by work and throughout the treatment it got worse. I never expected it would work and was cross because I thought my stress would ruin it. I thought when I got a positive test that I would calm down but my anxiety is worse than ever not least because I realise that in the stress and negativity before the treatment, I was not as careful as I should have been in taking my prenatal vitamins. I missed a number, although I can't remember when, and whether I was taking them basically fine in the month leading up to the treatment (I probably was not too bad then). I definitely took them since embryo transfer and doubt I missed any at that point. Unfortunately I have become obsessed with the idea that I might have caused a neural tube or some other defect in this pregnancy. I can't sleep, am constantly anxious (which I also worry is doing damage). I am waiting to see a specialist mental health midwife very soon. I am convinced I have doomed this pregnancy, if not because of the vitamins, then the stress. I feel thoroughly irresponsible and am desperate for the doctor to test my vitamin levels but he says I'll only worry more if they are lower than I'd like. My b12 is slightly lower than optimal, but my doctor says it's because the baby is using my reserves and you'd expect it to be lower at this stage - it doesn't mean it wasn't better 7 weeks ago. I am in a complete state. I never for a moment dreamt I could feel this appalling if an expensive and emotional treatment actually worked. I feel like I've ruined my life, the baby's and my family's and I am completely convinced that there will be a major problem and it'll all be my fault. I don't know how to live with it. I know the risks and so please don't make me feel worse - I really think that if I could turn back the clock I should never have proceeded with treatment whilst my mental health was so obviously in need of help; but I can't and I am where I am. I am a real real mess.

[babyness]

Im so sorry to hear about how your feeling at the moment. Anxiety is such a complex issue and  very difficult to understand as the triggers are individual to the sufferer. From what you have said your obviously a very caring person who cares deeply about her family, baby and pregnancy. Your body is an amazing gift especially in pregnancy and your little baby will cope and thrive despite amazing obstacles. Think about all the children around the world who are born perfectly healthy in conditions unimaginable who never may have heard of vitamins and women who have children not realising they are pregnant until a few months in. Your baby is blessed to have a mum who cares so much and is so precious that your worry in this way. You can still keep yourself healthy and still do what you can for you and your baby. You need to try focus on the positives you have done in your pregnancy and everytime you have a negative thought, change it to a positive. Nobody in life is perfect and nobody can remember everything so let go of forgetting vitamins. Try to work with the professionals around you who can help you with your anxiety and the reasons you feel the way you do. Give yourself time and love without expectations of getting everything right as in reality thats impossible for anyone. God bless xx    

[rosealie23]

I have anxiety also and it gets worse with pregnancy. I always feel like what I am doing will hurt my baby, from what I eat to vitamins to anything. I know how you feel my husband says I am nuts because my anxiety is really bad and it's times ten when I am pregnant... your vitamins will not affect your baby by much... it's normal to get worse when you have a emotional issue. You are not alone...

[berrylicious123]

Hi Jen
no need to worry if you can eat foods that have folic acid, and the other vitamins you will be fine and so will your baby. I was sick I could not take my prenatal vitamins I tried eating foods with folic acid and the required vitamins. my ultrasound turned out fine. so don't worry your baby will be fine.

[Isthatyoubob]

I'm sure the vitamins are not a big deal for baby.  Baby is a very good parasite that takes everything it needs from your reserves.  Most people miss drugs every now and then when they are prescribed as we have busy lives and other stresses. It doesn't make much difference overall.
However, your stress sounds unbearable and getting help with that now is so important for your health and well being. This community is here to support you but also getting some professional help with someone experienced who has the time to listen to your worries may be invaluable.
(Ps fertility treatment made me very anxious to the point I was convinced it would never work and went biking hard 100km in the hills two days after latest transfer. I'd had 8 transfers resulting in failures, 3 miscarriages and an ectopic.  The latest was the one that worked and I am now 29weeks.  I was paranoid at first I'd hurt the embryo by starving it of oxygen and nutrients and over heating it but baby is great on all the scans.  I had to let my worries/guilt go and focus on looking after us day to day.  During my other unsuccessful pregnancies I was a model patient and they all didn't make it. I think there's bigger forces at play here than just what we as mums-to-be can achieve so don't be so hard on yourself.)

[layla81]

You should try your best to relax.I have  never vitamins for my previous pregnancies and all my children are healthy.All praise is due to God.As long you have a healthy diet don't worry about taking tablets unless u have particular deficiences.
However u should manage ur stress n anxiety as it would have a impact on the baby...x

[mummainoz]

Try not to stress. With my first my dr advised me to stop taking mine as they made me incredibly ill and with this one I only took folate for the first trimester. Studies have shown that folic acid in prenatals can help decrease the chances but so can folic acid in your normal diet. Go and see the mental health midwife and I'm sure you'll get some reassurance.

[Pandatrap]

Try to relax and feel better, I haven't taken a single prenatal vitamin my whole pregnancy and I'm 37w today.

[Shohna]

I read somewhere that you should start taking prenatal vitamins three months before as the baby starts to use the store of vitamins u have built up..not sure if its true..but the store of vitamins you already had ur little one will have been using :) but just to put ur mind at ease I suffered horrendous morning sickness with my daughter and am pretty sure even when i managed to take my tablets I brought them up again soon after and she was perfect..I stressed from start to finish with that pregnancy aswell (Husband left me) and was utterly convinced at times something would be wrong with her..I think it just shows how much you love that little one and what a great Mummy your going to be :)

[pania58]

Remember bby needs you to be relaxed. Dont jump to conclusions over vitamins. Im sure one you get your ultrasound youll have peace of mind. God bless dear

[slm39]

It will be absolutely fine, but I do worry that this anxiety goes a lot deeper than worrying about vitamins. There's no shame at all in asking for help, your doctor can refer you to someone that will be able to help you unravel everything that's happening in your head. I'm currently seeing someone once a month as sometimes it's too hard on our own. Please let me know how you get on. Take care :-)

[Sienna14]

I must apologise.... i initially read the begining of your post and got the jist... but only afterwarda did i read the whole thing.... seems as though your anxieties may need a think about and perhaps talking to a counsellor may help hun xx

[Sienna14]

I havent consistently taken pre vits with any of my 4 and have been strrssed like u wouldnt believe at various times with all 4!!!.. all i would say is that each of my previous 3 have been gorgeously healthy and i believe this one will too...

As such make an effort to take the vits like using the reminder on this very app and equally make time for u too relax and distance yourself from stressors too... im sure things will be fine.. its really early days and u have your whole pregnancy to take vits so try enjoying your little blessing xxx

[Shandy04]

I do not know what your religious beliefs are but by all means have faith n trust that this blessing was bestowed upon you because you are able to withstand it. Now understand stressing n worrying isn't good but it's natural for any mother. I find it hard to believe that missing a prenatal vitamin is detrimental to ur health n that of the baby. Try your best to focus on things moving forward, what's done can't be undone. Nothing is perfect n sometimes being overly educated on the what ifs just causes more anxiety. So focus on your regiments n plans from here forward. You are too early on to take on so much stress. Enjoy the success of the procedure. Have faith over all.