Not pregnancy related but I have to tell someone.

[chickymama]

I took my 4yr old to dance class this morning and everything was fine she was happy to be there, we were going through the normal routine. (take off the sweat suit you have over your leotard and tights put on your tap shoes) Well, Eva always sits by Makenna. They go to the same preschool and always play together there. As soon as Eva sat down Makenna and another little girl said "We don't want to be your friend, don't sit by us anymore!" (here I am crying again)....If you could have seen the shock and hurt in my little girls big blue eyes!! (sob)..I didn't know what to say! I tryed to blow it off like no big deal, lets sit some where else. She went along with it and hasn't said anything about it. but I feel like my heart has been stomped on! She has to finish out the year my parents have pay in advance and her costume is payed for her recital on June 21st (the last day) and I don't want to teach her to quit things if someone is mean to her.... I know everyone has to go through stuff like this, but 4-5 yr olds??.....I can't say anything to DH about it. His coping skills are worse then mine. He'll either want to beat up their dads or tell her she doesn't have to go there with those lil b*tches again or something to make it worse.....They are outside painting the trailer for the boat so I need to pull it together and quit crying, maybe some of it is hormones but really you guys should have seen her little face!! (more sobbing) anyway, do you think I should try to get her to talk about it when we are alone or just let it go unless she brings it up??

[40smama]

Girls can be sooooo mean to each other!!!  I hate that it starts at this age but I've seen it time and time again as a teacher/parent of three girls.  Tennessee's right, I think they'll go back to being friends next week and probably the right thing to do is not to make a big deal about it but be ready to talk about her feelings if she brings it up.  Telling those other little girls to be nice and reminding them of using their manners is an EXCELLENT idea too.  Little girls like this shouldn't be allowed to get away with being b!tchy to each other - too much of that happens later on.  I remember my dd telling me about one of her little girlfriends telling her to "shut-up" and it hurt her heart (her words).  I wanted to friggin' beat that little kid up!!  Normal reaction especially when you're pregnant (which I wasn't - LOL).

[Tennesseegirl]

It is a very sad thing to hear.. but trust me... next week will be diffrent. they will be back talking and laughing. yes.. they are inocent.. they dont hold grudges!! saying anything to her I think would make it bigger then it is.
She accepted the situation very niceley. If it would of bothered her she would of cryed then when it happened. Mothers.. We.. tend to take it more and dont forgive as easy.. In siturations like that... We can learn from them... smile

I dont think I would of got up and moved though.. In situations like that? If the other mother didnt say anything... which Im sure she was sitting right there?? I would of corrected them just by saying aaaawww.. you girls need to be nice. and leave it at that.
yes... quiting would be the worst thing you could do... keep strong... you will see .. next week they will be over their anger.

I fill for you. because it is such a sad thing to witness. and Kids can be soooo mean.

unfortunally... as they get older.. they learn too.. not to forgive as fast. ;c

[chickymama]

Thanks girls!! I'm feeling better now. I think I just needed to cry, and that set me off. Eva and I met my Mom for dinner and she did bring it up when my Mom asked how dance class was. She's such a sweet kid. She said it did hurt her feelings, and she didn't know what she did to make them mad but she wasn't mad at them and maybe her and Makenna can be friends at school that maybe Makenna just didn't want to dance with her.....and like you guys said kids say things like that then forget all about it. I know this little girl is around older girls alot and has probably heard them talk like that........

babyprayers- Maybe we should bust up a few mothers just to get the word around not to mess with our kids LOL.....Poor kid, how is she supposed to go to school with the whole class picking on her.? Have you talked to the teacher or do we need to slap her around too? (sigh) It's hard being a kid and even harder being a Mother and watching them suffer but what can we do?

[babyprayers]

wow, sounds like my own sad story, first let me start by saying Patty... you are a saint, I know deep in my heart your advise is the most accurate and the way things should be dealt with, you are 100% correct, but for me, I cannot do that, My DD is 10 and came home a week ago crying her eyes out, now let me start by saying Dominique is a huge cry A$$ to begin with, but it appears as though one little girl in her class has gotten the whole class minus one little boy to gang up on my daughter, saying mean things like your ugly, your a scumbag, your smile is weird, rotten things, I flipped out, my DH was like Luci, stop it, I was like take that witch by her hair and knock her lights out, dont put up with that nonsense, I know thats wrong, but somewhere along the line she needs to defend herself,

chickymama--> I feel bad because your situation is different, these little girls are way way way to young to be talking like that! children are a product of their enviroment, I wonder what their mothers are like, perhaps you could speak to the mother, and see what she has to say, again, go with pattys advise, she is the wise one here, I am very hot headed, and very protective of my daughter, sometimes to much I think, well at least I can admit it right girls!! whatever you decide to do, good luck and be happy that your little girl is not like that

[pcarsey]

Andrea,
If it were me I would say something like... Eva?.. do you remember what happened with Makenna today (or yesterday... depends on when you talk to her about it..) and if she says yes, then I would then say, would you like to talk about it? or would you like to talk about how that made you feel?.. if she doesn't then I would drop it because at that age, the next time she sees her it will probably be totally forgotten and they will be best friends again. I know this hurt your heart probably more then hers and the thing you have to remember is that they are just being their age.

Something similar happened with my great niece, and my niece (her mom) decided to take it out against the other little girl, always making a fuss over the incident when they saw her, reminding her of what she did and then using that as an excuse for Hayleigh not to play with her. Then when I was there and saw this happening, I asked her why she was punishing a 5 year old for being 5.. It may not have been any of my business, but you should have saw the way my niece was with this little girl, it was wrong in my eyes, to me it was teaching Hayleigh to be mean and to hold a grudge against someone when they are mean to you.  Hayleigh wanted to play with her and thought nothing of the incident. It was her mom who wouldn't let her let it go.

Not saying you would do this in any way, but there is always different outcomes in how we deal with things and how we teach our children to deal with things.


Good Luck to you..

[agamommy]

Hi,

I have two dd ages 12 yrs and 6 yrs.... I have been thru the same thing with them... although children can be very cruel and mean.... the are innocent human beings... they learn by example.... When my deaughter (Grace) went to preschool a couple of years ago... she  come home upset because a little girl told her she wasn't her friend.... Grace didn't understand  why this little girl was being so mean..... I told her the most important thing to remember is to treat people the way you want to be treated..... It breaks every moms heart to see their children hurting..... Sorry to say...but, this will not be the last time she will go thru this..... Raise her up to be strong (at heart and mind) she needs to know that not all ppl are very nice and that  its ok to voice her feelings... I hope this helps you, and good luck..   By the way, you have a beautiful daughter....