Hi! New to the Community,

[TCGirl]

Hi everyone!  I am new to this forum, and just wanted to say hello.  I have 1 DD who is 15 months old, and I adore her.  My husband and I waited to start our family, and now we are somewhat torn as to when to move on to baby number 2,  We know we would like to have at least 1 more, but cannot decide on the right time.  DH turned 40 in August, and I will be 36 in February, and I am starting to feel concerned about waiting any longer to try for another.  We both are concerned about how much time will be diverted from DD to a new baby, but the reality is, the longer I wait, the more difficult it will be for me to get pregnant, and I am truly concerned about all of the other risks that go along with waiting.  Just wondering how you all made the decision to begin trying for another one.

Thanks in advance for taking the time to read and respond to this.

[ChristineMP]

I understand how you feel about changing jobs/starting a new job pregnant. You may want to try to stay where you are and have the baby sooner (since in the U.S. you need to work a year for the employer to be covered by FMLA). If you change jobs before, you may have to wait quite some time to start trying...

When my husband and I decided to have a child together (we both have other children but this is our first and only child together), we thought it would take a while for me to get pregnant, especially since I was on birth control for so long AND am 41 years old. So, I stopped taking the birth months before we really wanted to get pregnant...and got a BFP almost immediately LOL. I was in nursing school at the time...so I had to finish school pregnant and then find a job (as a new grad/new licensee) while 5 months pregnant! Not the ideal way of going about things, but I believe things happen for a reason :)

Best wishes for you, whatever you decide!

[TCGirl]

Thank you all for your comments.  I am in the process of looking for a new job, I have a good job, but am ready for a change.  So, now I am feeling the pressure of age and the want for my children to be close, but I don't want to start a new job pregnant.  But...who knows how long either of those changes may take.  

Adgal - Congratulations!  How exciting, I hope this pregnancy goes well, what wonderful news.

[ChristineMP]

My older children are two years apart (well, 23 months if you want to be technical) and are VERY close. For them that spacing was perfect.

From other personal experience...I am the youngest of 3 and the only girl. My oldest brother is 5 years older than me and we have never gotten along. We are trying now, as adults, to develop a relationship but it is work. On the other hand, our brother (the middle child who is 2 years younger than my oldest brother and three years older than me) was always close to BOTH of us...so I personally think 2-3 years apart is best for the relationships between the children...

[adgal]

Hello there and welcome!  For me the decision was a pretty easy one.  We knew we wanted two and it took me a long time to have our first.  I was just a week away from turning 41 when he was born, so we pretty much started trying when he was 6 months old.  My issue is not conceiving, I do that rather easily, but I have trouble carrying past first trimester.  So for us, there was no choice but to try right away. DS is 22 months, and I just found out over the weekend that I am pregnant again...at the young age of 42!  Lol.  Around here, 36 is young..lol.  Welcome again to our community, and I hope you find the support and friendship here that I have.  Best of luck on making your decision, and ssbd to you!!

[stacey10]

welcome !x :) in these last years for me it was the time/egg factor, and I  have found that having them close together is the easiest way, I would suggest to start trying now as you dont really know how long it will take, hopefully you will be lucky and fall pregnant soon, just keep your little one informed from the start and involve her in every part of your pregnancy and  once the baby is here, you should find that she is just as excited about the baby comming as you are :)