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Avatar universal

Advice needed

Hi, I'm 37, married and have 4 children(2,4,8 & 10yrs). We have a big house and my husband has a good job.I found out a few days ago I'm pregnant with baby number 5 (a nice surprise for me), but my husband is set against it. He says its not fair in the others, I'm too old, the cost of another. At first he said he would support my decision but now he is do against it and wants me to abort the baby. I can't. I know if he makes me get rid of the baby I will not be able to stay with him, I will never be able to forgive him. I'd accepted orginally that we weren't having anymore, but things are different as I am pregnant. Any advice Please x
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Avatar universal
The best gift you can give your children is a sibling.  They don't care how much money u have or what name brand their clothes are but they will forever love and cherish a sibling. I say give husband some time.  Then stick to your guns.  He knows how babies are made, So he knew this was a possibility. Good luck mama
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Avatar universal
Maybe if you explain to him how much you all want this baby he'll start feeling better about it?  Try to go through all the issues one by one and at the end of the day it is his child too and this has happened to both of you so try to understand his worries.  Is he worried it's not his? Is he stressed about money/job security? By doing this he might be able to understand yours too.  From reading your original post you have already decided you can't terminate.  
I was one of 5 children and my mum said it wasn't much more effort than having a couple as we all looked after each other and entertained ourselves. I had hand-me-downs from my siblings and you'll already need a super sized car for 4 kids.  
Perhaps part of the plans should be your hubby getting a vasectomy now.
I am 36 and having my first. Would have loved to have a big family but am blessed to be having one I guess!
Will be wishing you well.
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8919982 tn?1400717187
I no its tuff if I was in ur shoes I would keep the baby and tell him to snipe his stuff to avoid any more p.g
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Avatar universal
Oh, I'm so sorry you've been put in this position by your husband. I know you really need his support right now, and his stance on your pregnancy must be breaking your heart. But I'm glad to hear you're sticking to what you believe is right concerning keeping your baby. With that said, you definitely do need some support as you get through this time and decide what the future holds for your marriage. So, perhaps you should think about contacting a local Crisis Pregnancy Center. They have a lot of help and support available to women in your shoes and can give you info on options like adoption, etc. if that's of interest. But definitely don't go through this alone. And maybe even approach the idea of counseling with your husband  to see if you guys can work through this? So, just some thoughts to consider. You'll be in my prayers!
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Avatar universal
smh..Yall have money and a healthy nuclear family.  Its crazy to consider abortion or adoption just bc  its inconvenience for your hubby. That's incredibly selfish.  Have your baby. You are able-bodied and your kids are supportive. If your husband doesn't like it , he can leave. Then pay child support for 5 kids.
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Avatar universal
In the end it is your decision. If abortion is not the option, what about adoption? Open adoption would allow you and the other lil ones contact with their sibling. It is a sad situation, and I wish you the best of luck with whatever you choose.
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Avatar universal
Don't allow your husband to force you into anything you don't want. Ultimately it's your body and you're the one carrying this new life. If you get an abortion because he wants you to, you'll resent him. Sit down and tell him how you feel. Lay all your options out so both of you can see. Good luck!!
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Avatar universal
I am very sorry that you're in this position. It sounds like you already know how you feel about this. It would break my heart if my husband wanted me to abort our baby. I do believe that you shouldn't do anything you are uncomfortable with. My oldest child is adopted and as much as I wanted a babt badly (we tried for 15 years to get pregnant) I have always felt that the mother gave her  up for the wrong reason. Her husband insisted it was best. I do pray that you and your husband can come to a decision that you wil both be able to live with.
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Avatar universal
I would sit down calmly and give him a chance to discuss his concerns. Explain to him how you and your children feel and let him know abortion is not a option. I think he's probably speaking out of fear and possibly stress. It sounds like you have a handle on things, you're contributing to the finances and probably doing most of the work at home. Maybe you guys can come up with ways to save more money, cut out little things here and there to help save some money. It's ultimately your decision and I'm sure he'd feel as bad as you if you actually went through with it.
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Avatar universal
Regardless of how you got pregnant, the fact is that you are. Its not your husbands choice. Tell him your having baby & termination is not even an option. Don't let him pressure u or make u feel guilty, because u will regret it.
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Avatar universal
I wouldn't get an abortion.  It's not right or fair for you to pressure you like this.  I'd tell him no and to just live with your decision.  
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Avatar universal
It's scary for him and you answered all of your questions already you want the baby. You need to express to him what you and the kids want and allow him to decide if he is sticking around or not because you've made up your mind. Write down everything that maybe concerning to him and write down how you can resolve the issue. It will be alright just talk your way through the solution.  Good luck and congratulations on your blessing. This is also #5 for me I feel your pain :).
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Avatar universal
He can't make you have an abortion.
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Avatar universal
Well he knows how to make children by now if he didn't want anymore he should have kept the Army in his pants
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Avatar universal
No we didn't use any, I've come of the implant about 5 months ago due to it causing problems and me having to go to hospital to get seen to,but he knew about it, he knew I wasn't on anything else. Also its always him that has instigated sex(so no tricking him). My head is a mess!
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Avatar universal
Did the condom break or he just never uses one? Did he make sure you're using a backup method since he's the one that doesn't want anymore kids
Why don't you hand him a knife and tell him to pick one of the kids see how he feels about killing children
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Avatar universal
I've recently set up my own buissness which so far is doing well.
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Avatar universal
Are you working? If hubby is the sole bread winner he may just be feeling a bit more pressure.
I know my hubby will occasionally make a snide comment about money and stuff but I just tell him to relax lol.
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Avatar universal
The other children (older ones) have been asking for another baby for over a yr, even 4 yr old recently asked if I could sneak shops and but a baby and not tell daddy, so I know for them they would be pleased.
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Avatar universal
You need to talk to him. If he makes you abort you said yourself you couldn't stay with him. You'll just end up resenting him.
I don't think its particularly unfair to give the other kids another sibling, money wise things always work out in the end.
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