I am trying to get pregnant at 42 and I have questions

[Bren02]

Hi there... this is the start of my baby making process.  I had surgery to open my tubes and stared on Clomid and my doctor says all systems are go!  Do I stop drinking coffee and wine right away? how many attempts does it take?? What should I be doing and not doing??????????  any help will be appreciated.  And some happy new from others would be more than welcome.

[YvetteY]

Hi....if you dont' get pregnant within 6 months you should see a fertility doctor and be more aggressive with you TTC efforts.  It's very difficult to get pregnant at 42.   (If you do get pregnant, make sure that your doctor does an ultrasound fairly early to ensure you don't have ectopic pregancy.  You are at higher risk since you've had tubal surgery. )

As far as attempts...who knows...you might get lucky and get pregnant right away or it could take a very long time.   Also if you get pregnant know that you're up against a high miscarriage rate.  But there are many women in their 40s who get pregnant and carry a baby to term, they are just few and far between.  It's just harder to do at this age, than if you were 19 or 20.  


As far as the coffee and wine...while that's all fine and dandy to stop right now, I wouldn't bother to stop.   Those things aren't going to prevent you from getting pregnant.  You're biggest obstacle now is to find a good egg that will turn into a healthy embryo.   Of course cut the wine out once you're pregnant and cut down on the coffee..( I've read two cups is okay during pregnancy).   I'm pregnant and still have an occassional cup of coffee, although no wine, but I did have an itty bitty sip.  

Also I recommend getting your hand on some books for women trying to conceive when they are advanced maternal age.   We're fighting mother nature here when we try to get pregnant over 40.  I liked this book...  A Few Good Eggs: Two Chicks Dish on Overcoming the Insanity of Infertility.   It is incredibly stressful trying to get pregnant and then getting pregnant and losing to miscarriage.  

Good luck to you!

[YvetteY]

Oops...I forgot to mention getting an ovulation predictor kit.  If you have a regular 28 day cycle have sex ever other day starting on cycle day 10 to cycle day 14.   That's your ideal fertility window.  

And if you're efforts don't work go to the infertility doctor and get something a bit stronger than clomid.  I took clomid for 5 days (200mg) and then two days of injectibles to stimulate ovaries.  I got 2 follicles I think!    When I took follistim I got more follicles to work with for IUI....unfortunately neither one of those agressive efforts worked.  ONe I didn't get pregnant and the other I did but miscarried.   So my point is maybe something more agressive that clomid.  

Keep your fingers crossed and say a lot of prayers...you might get lucky!!  

[mlb1234]

You can always call just schedule a consult with an RE, see what they say, and make a plan (even if that includes trying naturally for a few months first).   That would be your best bet I think.  I am 39y and I know if I were just starting TTC at age 42y, knowing what I know now, I would just go directly there without wasting any time.  Best of luck.

[PamelaBee]

Hello Bren02, welcome to the community.  First of all, let me say, all women are different.  Some women get pregnant first time trying, and others take forever, and some never do.  It's all the roll of the dice.  Unfortunately, we can't have a miniscule camera inside our cervix monitoring when it's going to happen.  At 42, and just TTC, it's hard to say if things will happen right away for you, usually after 6mos most women consult an RE.  Please do not get consummed and worried with miscarriage, some women fixate on those statistics and worry themselves sick (and others)...it's too much.  If you conceive it can go one of two ways, viable or not viable.  And then, it's just a waiting game, every day and week and month that passes.  As far as any other advice, I would definitely start taking prenatal vitamins and eat healthy, enjoy your current lifestyle, and everything in moderation.  OPKs are a great guideline for predicting your fertile days and ovulation, but don't always have sex just when the OPK indicates, be spontaneous with sex, do it early in your cycle, and later.  The OPKs are simply a tool to help detect, they are not always accurate.  The month I became pregnant (currently with #2), I didn't do an OPK, and we had sex about 3 days earlier than we usually did...so who knows, I just always assummed because the OPK targeted certain days for me that it was right. The rest...well just enjoy the process...I know once a women is ready to conceive it becomes her sole  priority, but try to not make it be, because that just might be the time when you get lucky!  Disappointment may come and go each month you anxciously await to do a HPT, but ust know you are on the best forum for support and information.  Extra doses of babydust coming your way, and best of luck TTC!  Pam  

[Savanha]

Welcome Bren...

I think you've gotten some pretty good info already, so I'll just say...here's hoping you get a BFP real soon. ;o) Mega mounds of SSBD to ya.

Cheers,
--Savanha

[natalie910]

Well after reading some of the posts I'm starting to be afraid to ttc again. I just turned 38 and I had a m/c at the beginning of the month. I was actually 16w along, still waiting on some reason why I had a late m/c. Anyway, we really want to ttc again but after hearing so many bac things about having a baby over 35, I have to admit I am starting to second guess myselt. We really want another child but is it too risky? I am not one to focus on statistics that's why I stay off of those sites. At 38 am I too old? Is it a bad decision? I really hope not.

[PamelaBee]

There are certain posters that are compelled to mention the statistics and complications with miscarriage and chromosome complications to women inquiring to have a baby at an advanced maternal age. I apologize if it made you second guess or question your desire to try again.  It does put a sense of apprehension and doom on the entire process, even before you get started.  Yes, we all know that women TTC over the age of 35 are at risk.  To what degree that is, depends on the woman, her medical history, or reasons beyond our control.  All women are different, some have miscarriage after miscarriage, some have one, some none.  It's all out of our control, and when it does happen, it's natures way of ending an unviable pregnancy, so you can't put the blame on yourself.  But, that doesn't mean there are not more of your healthy quality eggs ready to be fertilized and develop into a healthy, viable pregnancy.  Please continue to try, do not let scary statistics stand in your way....you can do this!  Pls keep us posted.  Pam

[7preg3b]

well I'm TTC at age 38..  I have four beautiful children and am finding myself wanting another..  we will ttc until July and then stop if not pregnant yet..  I don;t want to raise kids all of my life...  I have a 17 year old too..  good luck on TTC..   I just tell myself age is just a myth..  

[Bren02]

Thank you for the positive feedback.  It's nice to hear that you had a child in your 40's a second one on the way!  It makes me trust that it can and will happen.  I got married last year.  I could have had a baby at any point in my life but I waited until the time was right to be fair to myself and a little one.  I am very excited about the process!  And it helps to find a group that understands what this is like.

Thanks to all of you for your feedback.

[natalie910]

To PamalaBee, thank you so much for your wise words. I feel much better about it now. We really do want another child. I did see a new ob/gyn today and he gave me a lot of hope, too. He really answered all of my questions and gave us the go ahead to ttc again. I have to wait for 2 cycles but I'm ok with that.
Thanks again for being so positive!

[SoCalTricia]

I second everything Pam said. Sometimes I think people (naturally) allow their own experiences to color their opinion. If you've had a hard time conceiving and/or have had miscarriages, you tend to think it is more common. If you *didn't have a hard time, then you might think it's easy. Either way, statistics can be frightening if you allow them to get to you. I'm almost 41 and got pregnant very easily...the second month trying. I'm almost 18 weeks now, and everything looks great. I've had a fairly easy pregnancy so far. As for miscarriages...Natalie, if you've had just one, sometimes it is just an anomoly. No one knows why it happened, and if there's no pattern of miscarriage, chances are you won't have another one. Anyway...I hope both of you don't get discouraged. I'm keeping you in my thoughts, and send lots of sticky baby dust to you! Please keep us updated...

Tricia

[Miranda9]

Hello,

I agree with Tricia.  We all tend to speak from our own experience.

I'm your age and I certainly believe you can get pregnant!  

I've never had any trouble conceiving naturally....but I have had three miscarriages.  I've just found out that I have anticardiolipin antibodies that may have contributed to these losses.  My twin sister is currently pregnant with her second child and she is doing great!  

What should you be doing?  Eat healthy.  Take your folic acid supplements.  Try to cut down on your coffee and wine now...to make it easier when you want to eliminate.  

The obvious thing is to have sex right before you ovulate.  Are you tracking your cycle with bloodwork and u/s or by BBT?  

Don't use lubrication when you have sex...apparently it hinders the sperm mobility!

Good luck and I'm with you on this journey,
M

[melimeli]

I have read the coffee can interfere with fertility so I would stop it.  Also you are taking prenatals right?  

Have you had your progesterone checked?  That is almost a given in this crowd as most of us sustained pg. with progesterone supplements..

Also clomid thinned my lining so you may want to have your lining checked. I had to go to injectables

With your age you may want to do iui with clomid and up your chances.  It really doesn't cost that much more and your insurance may cover it.  I did iui with clomid and they just did the iui when I was o'ing

[Bren02]

Well I quit coffee and wine just in case and so far so good! I changed to Ovaltine it has vitimins that I need anyway.  I have been taking Materna for the last year and I am pretty active and healty.  I used an Ovulation kit and we were right on time... here's hoping!  We'll find out in the next week or so.  I plan to stay pretty positive and I know this will happen!

Thanks everyone :)

Bren

[Selenea]

To the ones who just love to throw those, ahem, stats, at women TTC over 35, as if these women weren't aware of the negative bull that swarms the universe when you're trying for a baby after a certain age that some find 'offensive', just throw some positive thinking why don't you!!!

You can be 20 and miscarry, would you bring that up to a 20 year old, I think not.  Google pregnancy over 44 and you'll find loads who have had healthy babies!

[natalie910]

Salenea-Thanks for bringing up the positives. It's already a little scary without having to keep hearing about the stats.
Thanks for the positive thoughts :)

[Selenea]

You're welcome sweetie.

here's a great positive site:

http://pregnancyover44y.blogspot.com/2007/03/im-44-20-weeks-pregnant-with-my-3rd.html

for you and all you lovely ladies TTC after 35!

[tinkerbell101]

Ahh stumbled upon this thread quite accidently and have once again had my soul soothed by the lovely pamela along with the kind encouraging and gentle words from Seleana. Good luck to everyone and sticky babydust to all xxxx

[Selenea]

....thank you dear.

Can't wait to hear everyone's updates, whether ur BFP came this month or whether it's about to come, love hearing updates.

Bren, keep us updated!

[Selenea]

We're happy to hear you were comforted!  Wishing you much baby dust spread your way.

[natalie910]

Salenea- I checked out the site you recommended and I really loved it. There were a lot of links to other helpful sites. I appreciate your positive thoughts and great attitude. I'll keep you posted when I get my bfp. I have to wait 2 cycles before we can ttc but hopefully the time will go quickly.
Thanks again

[SoCalTricia]

Just so you note...there was really only ONE post that was gloom and doom. Almost everyone on this forum is very supportive.

Tricia

[Selenea]

Thanks for your note......

Just so you note:  I can read for myself thank you.  It's not necessary for you to point out the support I see it for myself and God bless the women for their support and encouragement, it makes a strong difference.  If I didn't acknowlege the positive support I apologize.  It doesn 't mean I did not recognize it nor did it mean it wasn't greatly appreciated.... and I can see the negative tones as well for myselfl...thanks anyway.

[Selenea]

I'm so glad you found the site encouraging, Natalie.  Focusing on it makes you feel all enthused and hopeful.

O, yes, 2 cycles will go very quickly, in the meantime enjoy your TTC break.

It isn't a rare thing for women to make babies in their 40s.  I don't know where that thinking came from???