I had my first child at 36 years old. The pregnancy was free of complications, I was terribly sick with morning sickness for the first 4 months.I had a healthy baby girl in July of 2004.
At 39, I got pregnant again. I had no pregnancy symptoms at all and actually thought, "This is great, no sickness." Little did I know my hormone levels were so low, I miscarried at 8 weeks.
Three months later, I got pregnant again. This time I suffered morning sickness again, at all times of the day. My doctor tested and my blood levels were all good. "Excellent" was his exact word as to how good my levels were. The equipment in his office could not pick up a heartbeat, so he sent me to the hospital for a scan. At 8 weeks, the hospital scan saw the heartbeat immediately, the report was good, thumbs up all the way. We saw the heartbeat Monday morning. By Monday afternoon, I was bleeding. Went back to doctor Tuesday and he sent me back to hospital where they confirmed there was no longer a heartbeat and I was having my second miscarriage.
I am devastated. Thursday, I had a D&C and the doc sent the tissue for tests. He also did this with the first miscarriage, the results were inconclusive.
I am wondering if I will be able to have a successful and healthy pregnancy or if my time has passed. I will be 40 in 2 months. The thought of trying again is so painful. The thought of never having another child is excruciating.
I fear at my age, with 2 consecutive miscarriages, I may never be able to carry a pregnancy to term again. I am having such a difficult time with this. I just don't know where to go from here. I am so angry and sad and having a hard time accepting it.
I spend the day trying to be upbeat for my daughter, but once she goes to bed at night, I just sink.