Scared

[carrie83]

Hi everyone I just joined this forum. I've been poking around this site the last two weeks when suddenly I've been having trouble sleeping. I am afraid of what I'm not sure I wake up scared, feeling alone, anxious, amd a million other feelings. I'm due May 2, and am scared about giving birth (she's my first) and was wondering if any of you already have children if there is anything you can tell me about child birth, so i'll stop being so scared. Or maybe just having other pregnant woman to talk to will help me. I wish I heard of this place sooner and would appreciate anyone willing to become my friends, yet I'm not sure how to go about asking people. I apprecaite any help or feedback.

[foo803]

I went all natural with my first in August of 2007. I am actually more freaked out this time knowing what I can expect labor to be like. I am glad I didn't have drugs even though the pain is not fun because I was totally in control of my body and the moment.

Waiting for labor to start is actually the hardest part because of all the worrying but once it starts you just get in the moment and get through it. To me its like going to an amusement park and waiting in line for a roller coaster. The waiting in line ***** because you think of all the scary parts but once you get on and the ride starts you calm down and enjoy the ride.

Labor is 80% mental and 20% physical. Prepare yourself mentally and you can handle anything that comes along. Also, learn about what life is going to be like after delivery. Labor is just the start not the finish. You will have more to deal with physically and mentally after the baby is out.

[kikicoates78]

Even if it's your 2nd or 3rd the anxiety is still there! I don't think people realize how their stories can add to the anxiety! You always hear OH labor hurts SOO bad! Well yeah it hurts, but it really isn't that bad. Just remember this is actually what we were built for.

I have 2 boys 14, and 9. So this being my 3rd, (and it's a girl) it's like starting all over. 9 years was a long time ago!  I'm glad you found our forum we all have developed bonds with our pregnancies, and we find that all of "our" problems seem to affect all of us, so we know it's "normal" and we have great support of each other.

That being said Welcome Aboard!!

[kylesMom09]

Carrie-
You are definitley not alone...I have been dealing with some anxiety issues lately and it all seems to be centered on getting this little one out!!  I know there is no way around all of it, but it doesn't seem to calm my nerves at all.  I took my birthing classes this past weekend and i found them to be overwhelming at the time, but i am starting to process all of the info and i am starting to feel a little better.  I just find it helps to talk about all my fears, so thats what all these wonderful ladies are here for!!!

[hkenny]

Carrie- i think its 100% normal for every 1st time mommy to feel scared. even 2nd and \3rd timers. Its the thought of the unknown! When I was 1st pregnant I thought about labour all the time and was really stressing myself out, I decided to just not think about it, I figure there is no getting around the fact that the baby has to come out so why stress. Plus I am planning an epidural if the pain gets to bad. I just recently started thinking about it and as lame as it sounds I just think its going to go smoothly, and the baby and I will both be fine. Try to think positve about it. ( i know we dont know if that will happen) I figure positivity is better than being scared!

Welcome to the may forum!! Welcome to the pink team!! have you got any names picked?

[krushing]

I wanted to first say welcome to our board!  Glad to have another May Mommy.

As for your concern, this is my first too and I just wanted you to know that I am the same way...scared to death of the unknown.  I'm just trying to stay calm and enjoy the last days, if possible.

Don't be a stranger around here!

[carrie83]

Thanks I really appreciate your comments, I really just think I need people in my life going through the same things as me, and sometimes just getting something off my chest and getting logical, calm, and outside advice makes a world of a difference. I really couldn't of found this site at a better time. I thought once you had a c-section you'd always need to have them, but that takes a lot of guts to try to go through a natural birth again after last time. Again thanks a lot for telling me about your expirence and helping me get out of mt own head

[njrohe]

I'm having my second child now (due May 6th).  My first was born via c-section after a 27-hour labor, but even I would say that childbirth is not bad at all.  Mind you, I cannot speak for women who choose the "no drugs" route.  I had an epidural before the pain got really intense (I was 4 centimeters when I got the epidural), and the most I felt after that was intense pressure -- like the most severe constipation of your life.

The c-section felt a little uncomfortable and annoying.  No pain, just like someone is rummaging through a drawer and the drawer is you.  :-)  And later, I'll admit, the recovery was not pleasant.  I felt fine if I stayed still, but they want you up and walking and the incision hurt a lot!  But within about 3-4 days I was about 70% better and within 2 weeks I was nearly 100%.  Clearly, it's not so bad that I wouldn't do it again.

This time around, I am trying for a natural birth again, but while most women seem to fear c-section, my anxiety is ONLY about natural birth.  C-section doesn't phase me at all.  And my concerns about natural center around the idea that I am at higher risk now because of my prior surgery, so I have concerns about the baby being born healthy and about preserving my own ability to have more kids, not about pain or anything like that.

In any case, I would just remind you that we're all here now and there is no way to avoid childbirth, so worrying about it doesn't fix a thing!  I know I'm giving a logical argument to an emotional feeling, but it is true.  So, sit back and fantasize about your precious baby and try not to worry about the birth.  You will probably look back on it as a wonderful experience -- I do.