baby shower ettiquette question

[nikko*ttc]

I'm not big on the whole registry idea because it basicly points to exact items that you want. I was thinking of just making a generic list of items and including with my baby shower invitations instead of pointing out places where I am registered.

Here is the list I am thinking of including:

• Boppy Pillow with 2 slipcovers – one to throw in the wash and one on the pillow
• Diaper Bag
• Diapering Accessories – Planning on regular diapers  
• Shopping cart cover
• Back seat storage and seat protector – fits under and to the side of the car seat
• Vehicle window shade
• Baby bathtub and accessories such as towels and washcloths
• Medela Electric Double Pump
• Nursing covers for public – very light weight preferable so baby and mom don’t get too hot
• Bottle drying rack – We don’t have a dishwasher so this will come in handy
• Health and grooming kits/supplies
• Baby toys – teethers, rattles, mirrors, belly/back gyms
• Extra sheets and mattress protectors
• Glider with Ottoman
• Graco SnugGlider – This allows my Graco infant car seat to fit onto the frame and continue swinging baby. Great for car rides, no having to take the baby out of car seat, just attach seat to swing.
• Clothing – Not picky, even gently used items will be appreciated. Baby grows so quick that new is not necessary.
• Baby gates
• Baby safety supplies such as outlet covers and cabinet closers
• Baby carrier/sling – I am really fond of the slings with a metal clasps, they seem to be more versatile for positioning baby

I was only specific on 3 items (boppy pillow, graco SnugGlider, and medela pump), because these are absolute preferences whereas the rest is stuff best left to parental judgement. Do you think this is bad ettiquette or acceptable, also let me know if you think I have left anything off?

[g8r grl]

I would register because you could research the best products and put those on your list. If you just ask for a "baby gate," then you could get the cheapest junk that's just going to break or something that's just not functional...

The BEST thing you could do is to READ, READ, READ all of the reviews online for items that you might want. You may like a tub or highchair, and then find out about all of the complaints that people have and what they wish that they had instead. The best reviews are on Target.com...they're so helpful! Especially when it comes to breast pumps, strollers, and carseats...those are all things that are big purchases and you want to get it right the first time!

I don't mind shopping off of registeries at all...I think most would agree (at least that's what it looks like on the thread!).

[motherofan18month]

on many registries u can put little notes for anyone who is buying that item for you such as: you registered for a graco pack-n-play & on the note you could say that the brand is not neccessary!

[JoyRenee]

Registering is a lot more simple than a list of items. It also helps others to see what has been purchased and what is left to purchase whereas a list won't tell them that.

When I registered, I registered for specifics (like the bathtub, swing, etc.) but I did not put toys or clothes on the registry. Most people won't shop from the registry but it gives them a general idea.

I can't tell you how much I had to return because people bought me things I didn't need/like. Like I'm not a fan of Winnie the Pooh and I got some Pooh stuff. And then someone got me these covers that go over your stove buttons so baby can't turn the stove on--- didn't need those because our buttons are up high, not low.

So definitely register so you know you'll get what you need!

[Rozy321]

I was wondering about this same kind of thing.  My sister got almost all of the little $10-$20 things she wanted from her friends at the shower, but ended up not getting the bigger registry items that she really wanted and needed help buying...

I was thinking, is it ok to register and find a way to encourage gift cards so you could use them towards big things like swings and strollers (instead of getting 25 layettes, 50 baby towels, and ten gallons of lansinoh haha!) ?

[Hope2OneDay]

They make registries for a reason...so you can get what YOU need and want. Otherwise, you may end up with a bunch of junk that you will never use. Another thing, this will prevent you from getting a lot of duplicates (a registry allows the store to mark items off the list that have been purchased, so no one else buys it, too).
I got diapers that weren't on our registry last time, and was so exhausted from no sleep and feeling like c rap the first few weeks that I didn't feel up to dragging the baby with me to return them. This would be the same with a bunch of stuff you don't need.

Another thing (and this is not saying anything negative about people who can't afford nicer stuff), but you may end up with a lot of small "cheap" gifts instead of one nice gift that you'd rather not have to purchase for yourself. Someone may think a big basket of Dollar Tree items such as rattles, toys, bottles and teethers (that will break and are probably made in China with lead paint) will be nicer than a $20 wipe warmer. I'd rather get less cheap stuff, and instead get ONE item that is well built and will last me. You want people to make it worth your while (and theirs) when shopping.

Does this make sense at all? Sometimes I make absolutely no sense! LOL

As for the list...it looks good! :-)

[sweetangel7]

The one thing that I think is nice is that a registry shows what has been purchased so you don't end up with a ton of one thing and nothing of another.  I'd register but that is just me =)

[njrohe]

You also may want to keep in mind that you are likely to get a lot of repeat items using this method.  With a registry, it is removed once filled and avoids a lot of returns...which is quite a hassle with a 9-month belly to lug around.

[nikko*ttc]

I think my main reasoning is because I don't want to say I want this specifically on any of the other items, but rather leave it up the person about what they would like to purchase.

[jesslee83]

i'd def say register....and put even the CHEAPEST items on there, like $5 this or $10 that.....it gives those who can't really afford to get you something, something YOU WANTED, and they can still share in the giving--but if you don't want that, you may just want to say "any gifts appreciated", b/c otherwise, you've made a list of items some people may prefer, and you don't, and you may not be able to return them.....my cousin had a "sprinkle shower", and actually asked for items to be gently used, aside from things that need to be new.....it was more like a "Hand-me-Down" shower, and it was really fun, b/c alot of my aunts and cousins, and our friends, got to tell why they kept that item(if it was their own child's), the story behind that 1 itty bitty stain(1 woman, and we never found the stain lol), and it was really fun.....or if they found the item at a resale shop, they got to explain WHY they chose that item.....it was actually part of the games, a "show and tell".....of course, for those of us who bought diapers, our explanation was "plastic doesnt go through the washer, and no one likes a "double-dipped butt" lol....but it was fun.....and actually, if you bought anything at a store like salvation army, or goodwill, or a mission, you got a gift certificate....and if it was something from your own child, you got something age appropriate to "thank" your child for "giving it away"(book, sippy-cups, stuffed animal, etc).....

[LauraB78]

I say register ALL THE WAY.. Just my opinion. I also think people would rather KNOW EXACTLY what you want and need. Those who cannot afford or don't care for registries can get whatever they want wherever they want, you know!?

I agree w/ Krissy that you may end up with may duplicates doing this the way you have listed above. All great items, but I would register, personally..

[krissyy]

i don't have problems with people registering--i'd rather get someone what they want/need than have them return my gift or never use it.  but i think your general registry/gift request looks good and is a nice idea.  my only concern with doing it this way is that you will possibly get lots of duplicates.  hopefully everyone will include gift receipts.  but, it will be fun for people to get what you need and still be able to pick out things on their own...  i think you have the basics...this is my first baby so i can't speak from experience what "must haves" are.  my friends all recommended slings, boppys, and pack-n-plays to me.  it looks like you have the sling and boppy on your list, but maybe consider if a packnplay would be beneficial to your lifestyle (if you have a two level house, like to travel or need a place for baby to sleep before he/she uses crib).  

i hope you have a wonderful shower and remainder of your pregnancy :-)