For anyone who has or had a miscarriage

[pinkbelle]

I recently suffered a miscarriage I was 6-7 weeks pregnant with my second child. I had just had my first daughter 3 months before. I wasn't very thrilled with this pregnancy at first .. I was scared because I had just had my first child and to be pregnant so soon after... But now that I have miscarried I feel an aching in my heart to get pregnant right away.. I know its not the best time for us to have another child but I can't get that aching out of my heart... my dh understands and say we can try for another child.. the thing is we are only 22 years old and neither of us has finished college yet.. We bought our first home in FEb. of 2008 and we both work part time jobs..  I know in my head that right now is not the right time for another child financially.. but I just can't get it out of my heart... I was just wondering if any of you have felt this way after suffering a loss. and any advice is much appreciated

[Mumita]

I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy in June after 7 weeks.  I think that one of the hardest things about a miscarriage is that you think that there's "something wrong" with your body when miscarriages are very normal and your body's way to check for errors, something wasn't right, it wasn't your fault.  Its a hard adjustment going from being pregnant and planning ahead to loosing it and not having that plan.  
Just take it day by day, its hard to loose in any sense, just take it one day at a time.  Just try to remember that you don't NEED to be pregnant and previous to getting pregnant, you didn't want to be pregnant.  You will want to later, now its not the time.
Also, I recomend a copper IUD, I had it for a while, it was wonderful.

[laura1985]

my husband and i started trying in May 2007 for a baby, and i got pregnant right away. i lost that baby that july. since then i have had 4 miscarriages. i just kept trying to get pregnant. it was almost like if i did it would fill the void of the babies i lost. i was on every possible drug to try and stay pregnant. i even has to have a round of methotexate, which is a form of chemo, after my 4th miscarriage (i had a d&c last nov too).after my 4th miscarriage i had a breakdown and had to be out of work for 2 weeks. it was horrible.  i am now off of every medication that i was on. i feel so much better now that all of the pregnancy hormones are out of my body. there is a small chance i might be pregnant now, even though we really havent been trying. if it happens, it happens. i no longer want to try anymore.

just give yourself some time. you need to physically and mentally heal from your miscarriage. look into counseling. if you are still in college, they should offer it for free at your campus. i know it helped me a lot. i know how hard it can be. i really hope and pray that things get better for you.

[Jame0223]

I wasn't trying when I got pregnant and when I lost my baby at 8 weeks I was completely heart broken. I felt like I wanted to get pregnant right away again. even though I was only 18, I felt like it was what I really wanted. My boyfriend wasn't ready for a baby and still isn't but if it happened, then so be it, but we still don't try. My situation is a bit different because your dh gave the go ahead but I would think it better that you wait. Just be grateful for the baby you just had and try to not think about the wanting of another so soon. To this day I think about my baby and how much I would like to get pregnant but I just keep reassuring myself that its not the right time and that I will have my time soon enough. I am sure you will be much happier after you have waited to try for another. You already know that waiting is the better choice but as for that ache..it doesn't go away anytime soon. Its still not gone in me completely and its been a year since my miscarriage. I still carry around my ultrasoun pictures that were taken 2 days before...My baby and I am the only one that got to see it alive and feel the love for it.  I loved my baby more then anything else in the world and wish everyday that I didn't lose it, so it never really goes away...not soon anyways. Just think little Aubree and how much she means to you and that someday you will be able to give her a sibling. :) Hope this helps!

[Rosa20]

Hunny i am so sorry you had to go through that...as i am sorry for anyone who had to go through that!! I went through it too and i know the feeling of the emptyness in your heart..which is complelty normal too....you have lost a part of you and its going to take time to get over it hun....i agree with the other girls give yourself some time and then make your decision...i really dont want to say this but you have to think about if you do get pregnant would you be ready for this if it happened again!! (god wilkling it wont) But think about the little things too..now you can focus most of your attention to aubree...( i hope thats how you spell it) and when your ready...it will happen again...God works in werid ways..we all know that....i hope i helped a little hun!! Good luck hun...if you need to talk more just message me k!

[KM604]

It's hard because I was TTC when I m/c'd, so of course we wanted to continue trying after the doctor gave us the go ahead.  I never went a day without thinking about the m/c, until I finally got pregnant again - 4 months later.  Every now and then I will think about it but I am trying to focus on the life inside of me.  There is a reason for everything, whether it be something is wrong with the baby or maybe the timing wasn't right.  For me, I had all these other issues we discovered after the m/c, and I think that was the reason for my m/c - to make sure my body was in order before we got pregnant again.  My advice to you would be to enjoy your daughter and do what is best for both of you.  My husband and I have been together for almost 9 years and married for 4 of those years.  I was going through school, working 32 hours/week and interning so even though we wanted kids it wasn't the best time.  But I graduated last year and have a good job (pay isn't the best but I can't expect much being a social worker) so we decided the time is right.  Honestly, I want another baby within 2 years of this one being born, but realistically we will have to make sure we can do it financially.  So I think that you might want to take time to grieve the loss and THEN start weighing out your options.  Only you and hubby know if it is right, but I wouldn't make any decisions now since the m/c just happened.  I would give yourself some time, thats the best advice I can give.  I am so sorry for your loss and wish you the best of luck with all your decisions.

[mh2968]

First and foremost, I am so sorry for your loss.  I think that wanting to get pregnant again right away is a totally natural reaction after experiencing a loss.  However, it would be a lot healthier for you and your family to mourn the loss, give yourselves a little time to heal, and then make your decision when to get pregnant again.  Your body was probably trying to tell that it need some more time to heal and rebuild after your daughter's birth.  Enjoy you daughter, and love all the precious new moments you have with her. You will get pregnant again when the time is right.