:( Hmm.

[Tasyi]

So I'm 25 weeks, my fiancé still does not have a job, pushes me around, cusses & yells at me, smokes allllll the time, PLUS had his "best friend" & his gf move in.. & he's always with them & does stupid ****, His best friends girlfriend sits there & smokes with **** too. He always tells me he'll quit doing this & quit doing that, but doesnt. I'm so tired of this.. I feel taken advantage of. Plus his best friend is really abusive to his gf too, totally insecure, doesnt let her leave, or anything. I'm just fed up.. & I'm not sure what I can do about it.. Im only 16 & my fiance is 18, we are getting married before the baby & I'm scared that once we tie the knot that he'll become worse.. How do I deal with this nonsense? Please no bashing!

[ale091988]

The best thing is to leave him! Dnt marry someone like that all the warning signs are right there in front of you do you have family you can go with? That's not a good enviroment to raise a child and you are still young and can find someone nice.

[Ashie8149]

Not to sound rude or anything but if youre not happy now, you wont be happy when you get married... If he is that mean and disrespectful to you, then the only way to deal with it is to leave. Just realize once you get married its 10 times harder to leave him. Trust me i thought about marrying my first baby daddy and im sooooo glad i didnt! i took the hard way but the happy way i was a single mom at 15 and then within a year and a half found the man of my dreams and were now married (my oldest knows my husband as dad) and were on our third child! Please just step back and think about it...

[doulamommy]

Do not stay just because you have a baby together. If you are unhappy with him, it's better for baby to have an emotionally stable home, even if that means doing it on your own or moving back in with your parents. Even in the womb stress can be harmful to a baby. Good luck.

[Tasyi]

No I dont. This is my house, & all of my family is twice as abusive. My dad is the reason I lost my first baby.. & my mom lives like 4 hours away & currently is living with her husbands parents.. My family is much worse. Not to sound stupid but the reason we are getting married is because of my cultures rules & also because he will go to jail if we do because I'm not legally allowed to have a baby by an adult .

[jmb4611]

You Need To Get OuT Now!!!! He Will Not Change But Only Get Worse If He Wanted To Change He Would Have ThE First Time You AskEd Him.... And I'm Sorry But If You actually Go Through With This Marriage The Way He Is Now You Are A Horrible Parent For Putting Your Baby Through That! If He Changes It Won't Be For long

[courtney111310]

If he treats you like that its only going to get worse later on...you need to stand up for yourself and your baby and do whats best for you both! Itll hurt but in the end you'll know what you have to do. I wouldnt marry him or be with him if he ever laid a hand on me or cursed at me...my boyfriend knows better than that (ive got him whipped into shape XD). If you have to get out of that situation for a while until he learns that you wont always be there for him to push around

[Tasyi]

I'm not defending him in anyway but he has stopped pushing & yanking me around & holding me down, but the yelling & cussing hasn't.. I'm happy when we are having good times but his friends are a bad influence. & they are currently homeless so I'm not gonna send a pregnant woman out in the streets but I do want a little more respect.

[jmb4611]

Legally Speaking That Is Not True! You Can Only Get Into Trouble If You Are 4 Years Difference! I'm  A Criminal Justice Major And That's Incorrect! The Only That Will Happen Is When You Go To Have That Baby The Hospital Will Ask If You Were Raped And Want To Press Charges! You Do NOT need Him You Can Do This.On Your Own... It Will Be Harder But Believe In Yourself And Don't.Let Your Baby Go Through that

[Tasyi]

I'm not a horrible parent for staying.. Hes a horrible parent for putting me in that position. But I did ask for words but still some wouldnt understand because of the way & where I was brought up.. In my culture I could get sent to a smoke house & what not because of the choices I am making. The only reason I am not being torturted is because I agreed to marry him.

[Tasyi]

But the state of Washington is different. My cousin had to get married & emancipated & was my age with the same age difference with her boyfriend..  

[jmb4611]

Idk, If Leaving Isn't An Option And Obviously It's Not Then You Need To Talk To Him And Tell Him If Something Doesn't Change Your Leaving! Do You Really Want Your Kid Having To Call 911 For Domestic Violence All The Time Or Going To School With Bruises And The Teacher Sees And Calls Dss Then Not Only Your Fiance But YOU will Be Held Responsible For That And Will Get Your Baby Jerked Away From You And Will Be Going To Jail! I Just Don't Understand How Not Leaving One POS man Is Worth Losing Your Baby over

[Tasyi]

Not really. I said I dont need bashing. & calling me a bad parent is bashing. So feel free to hop off my post. I dont care if anyone says anything about him but talking about ME is another.. Youre rude & WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND MY CULTURES RULES.

[Tasyi]

I have talked to him, I just freaking posted that he does not get physical with me anymore!! You just need to stop commenting. You're pretty big mouthed.. But I could understand because you haven't went through anything like this & did not grow up in my culture & probably had a crown handed to you as you were growing up..

[jmb4611]

Some People Will Obviously Never Learn And Don't Want The Help They Asked For Just Because TheY Can't Handle The Truth... Good Luck In Your.Situation :)

[abbb01]

Question do u want to live the rest of ur life like that? Do u want ur baby to grow up to be like him or be in ur situation?  Get away from all of the negative and abusive ppl! U may have a hard time for awhile after leaving but ur dad ur bf and his friends all sound like they're going potentially seriously hurt or kill u or baby someday.  Just because ur pregnant and they stopped in no way means they won't start again once kid is born or even worse when ur kid is a toddler and throws a normal toddler tantrum over something. No offense but screw ur culture if it doesn't smile upon ur and ur childs health wellness and happiness! U need to make ur own way or find someone to help u!

[Tasyi]

Yeah I understand, idk its different from what everyone else grew up to. Idk, sorry I even asked. I'm not saying hes doing right by me or anything but still nobody will ever get it. @abbb01

[0318_0214]

Tasyi, I was in a horrible relationship that was veey abusive both mentally & physically throughout my entire first pregnancy & a few months afterwards. It was horrible. The best decision I ever made was gettinf out of it. For both my daughter & me. When the parents are in a horrible relationship it affects the child more than you can imagine. My advice to you, is do your best to leave. No female, & most definitely NO BABY deserves to be in that kind of environment. I pray you make the right decision even if it is hard for you & your child.

[proudFTMTeTe]

Well sweetie u asked how to deal with the non sense n in my opinion u don't deal with the non sense if its ur house u put ur foot down n demand respect point blank period! N if u can't get respect in your own house then who ever can't respect u needs to leave!! N Idk ur culture but sweetie its not going to get better just cuz u get married its going to get worse n then your child will be in a unstable home with verbal or physical abuse either one it still not good for a child to be in

[Tasyi]

I know it does, my parents were like that but stopped thats the thing is he stopped. I'm not saying what he did is forgotten or fine. But people do change, the only thing he does wrong now is sit there & smoke all the time with out looking for a job. I know at first it was wrong for staying but now I do not have a choice. My culture & rules are different from the average persons life.. If I leave I will be tortured & probably end up losing my baby.. They do not care how old or what not. They will bring me to the smoke house & torture me. I agreed to marry him & everything because of my culture. & also because he learned to stop. I should not have even mentioned that in this post but idk. I shouldn't have even made the post at all.. I'm not saying you are but I asked for no bashing & then someone has to go & tell me I'm a bad parent when they have never been in the position or grew up in my ethnicity or anything..

[abbb01]

Where are u at?

[Tasyi]

@proudFTMTeTe yeah I know I asked but I should have stated my culture, the rules, & my ethnicity & stuff. Cause now everyone changing it to me being the bad one.. I'm not saying he's the best guy or anything but pretty much I made my bed & now have to lay in it.. I understand some people get worse I'm just hoping he will get better. He stopped pushing me around & yeah there's a chance he may start again but I have seen a difference, the smoking & what not is what I don't like.. His friend & his girlfriend will be leaving once his mom adopts his gf next month.. not sure what more I can say to make anyone understand my "religions allegations".. :/

[Tasyi]

I live in Yakama, Washington in white swan. Its a reservation.. If you could come here or something & get to know the culture or something maybe a different point of view could come out..

[proudFTMTeTe]

Were do u stay n what's your religion if u don't mind me asking so I can understand why u have to stay if we understood your religion then we could give u different advice maybe

[TTinKKerBBell]

You came here asking for advice but You have rejected every word of advice given You here
SO
I will not give advice because You aren't open to any, but I will say:

You and He will be modeling these behaviors to Your Child.  Children learn what They live......and the beat goes on