Best Friends Boyfriend

[CAR88]

Help me!!  I know this is wrong.  But what can you do when you love your best friends boyfriend?  They have been together for over a year now and all I've done is watch her mistreat him.  She's only using him for what he can do for her and he knows that.

[BabyHardiman]

Maybe you are just wanting what someone else has.  Alot of women do that!  Once you get your hands on him, you will probably not even want him.. then you've lost 2 friends.

Leave her man alone woman!!

[jo929]

i am an older person and i was young once also i raised 3 daughters and i have seen this so many times also when my daughers were about your age one had a girlfreind that they did every thing together then the girl got a boyfreind and the 3 went everywhere until i saw him eying my daughter, and coming over sometime she did not really see what was going on and i had a talk with her and explained what would happen if he broke up with her freind she would lose a good freind she then started to make it a foursome always make it a foursome not 3 because 2 is a couple and 3 is a crowd i also have seen this in the older generation then the husband leaves his wife for wifes  girl freind crazy world isnt it also remember the Tennesse waltz where his best freind took his girl from him it is much better to have a special freind for life than make an enemy also i think in time these feelings you have may transfer to someone else you do have a good head on your shoulders and appear to have a lot of common sense my money is on you wanting to stay freinds you appear to be loyal   lots luck  jo

[mami1323]

Why would I judge, I told you my story.  No one is perfect and sometimes you can't help who you fall in love with.  However, being older now, I know what's right and what's wrong.  If the roles were reversed and you were with someone, even for the wrong reasons, and your friend moved in on him, how would you feel?  When you're young it's easy to not care so much but when you're older and respect relationships, whatever type they may be, then you need to know better.  Being a woman who is engaged and has started a family, I would really hate it if some other woman stepped into my relationship and was aware that I existed.  We have to have some moral obligations to other women and this one is your friend.  

[CAR88]

Thank you for not being judgemental. I know what is right and I thought our friendship was stronger than this.  Never thought it would happen.

[mami1323]

Maybe she does suspect or maybe she just trusts the both of you.  It might be your own guilty conscience eating away at you.  It's hard I know but I would recommend you distancing yourself from that situation for awhile.  If you see your friend make sure it's just the two of you and he's not around.  If she's curious to why you may be acting differently, just tell her you are going through something right now and feel that you need to be alone.  If your friendship is important to you then you need to push those feelings deep inside of you and try to move on from this.

[CAR88]

I know that what your saying is right. I just wish I could get over these feelings. He got off work this morning and dropped my my house to look at some pictures we had taken over the weekend.  He was here for about 1 hour when my best friend walked through the door.  Nothing was out of the ordinary.  We have always hung out, so why is it I feel she knows.  Is it just me, cause if I was her I would already suspect something. And nothing has happened.  

[mami1323]

Ok, I know I will get smashed for this but I was young and so naive.  When I was 15, my friend started dating this guy.  Well it turned out that me and him got along great.  A little too great, I started developing feelings for him and no matter how much I tried to fight it, it was just there.  We were always hanging out the 3 of us and the more we hung out the closer him and I became.  Well she would always ask me to call him and talk to him for her because she was afraid to call his house because of his mother.  So one day I told him how I felt and it turned out that he felt the same way.  We wound up cheating together.  I felt horrible for what I was doing to her but I was so in love with him I couldn't see straight.  Long story short, they eventually ended their relationship and him and I got together.  She was heartbroken.  She begged me to leave him alone and to stay friends with her and I couldn't.  I was in love.  I wound up staying with him for 6 years.  You would think it would have been a happy ending...well he wound up leaving me for a girl he worked with.  So basically, he wound up doing me dirty just like he did to her.  I was stupid for thinking that his love for me was stronger.  But I was young and dumb.  I know your situation is a little different but my point is, I lost someone in my life over a guy who turned around to hurt me.  He was my first everything and I was destroyed.  I am engaged and have a 4 month old now with a man who is wonderful.  There are other men out there, you do not need to be with an unavailable man.  If your friend treats him like **** then it is his problem to leave her.  Don't get involved in that situation.  She is your friend and that relationship is none of your business.  Don't give in to those feelings....trust me it isn't worth it.  Good luck.

[RockRose]

You don't want a guy who hangs around for over a year of abuse.

[slow_healer]

I have to agree with jo929 on this one. You can support your friends, but try not to get involved. I've seen and experienced this - being the friend on the outside of a bad relationship. In the end people make their own decisions, and if the relationship does end (and if it does, it will likely end badly), you'll get a fair amount of the blame for meddling. Support him and let him come to his own decisions, but try not to fix the situation or get further involved. It's a tough situation - good luck!

[jo929]

stay out of it and let them handle it or you will make an enemy, out of both of them,
If he is fool enough to put up with it , then let it be  luck  jo