Confused of where to go next?

[tom219]

Just want to thank whomever is going to read this, any suggestions will be helpful. I have been with my girlfriend for roughly two years now, engaged finally and going to get married in the near future. I am 22 and she is 25. I love this girl to pieces but just really frustrated and dont know what to think anymore. For about the past seven months I have been intimate with her about three to four times if that. Every time I bring something up about sex she gets all worked up and says that is all I think about and then would continue to say if she knew that this is all i wanted when we first met that she would of never gotten involved. So that just makes it hurtful all in itself. I have tried several approaches in many different ways but all the outcomes are the same. No Intimacy. I guess other than that, she never really talks I have to start all the conversations and keep them going when we are together, she seems all alone in her own little world. I just feel as if she has lost interest or if she is holding back to try to tell me something that I dont want to hear. I just need help to determine if I should stay or go. I am more than willing to try to keep this relationship going but I dont know how to confront her with these problems and fix them. Thanks for any help. Tom

[Evie1029]

RockRose- LOL!!  Spoken like a mother of grown boys :)   I've been reading these forums for a while and think you give awesome advice.

Tom-  I agree with these ladies, time to move on.  Best of luck to you!

[RockRose]

Sorry to keep posting,  but I just read your profile.  This girls has never wanted sex,  even in the beginning.

If you want a happy life,  find a partner who is like you,  and at least at the time you marry her she appears to be a PERFECT match.  Not someone who never ever was a match.

[RockRose]

BTW,  you're too young to get married.

There,  I said it.  ;D

[RockRose]

I agree with Londres,  and I have to say your sex drive isn't "through the roof" if you've been with the same woman and have had sex with her 4 times in 7 months.  22 year old men typically have a healthy sex drive,  and it sounds like you have that,  but have been exceptionally patient.  Exceptionally.

You're not a match.  There is no shame in breaking off an engagement.  That's what engagement periods are for - to try to decide if you're a match.

Best wishes.

[Londres70]

All the best.  Go find what you want and deserve.  

[tom219]

i believe you are right. I was kind of thinking along the same lines. Thanks for the help

[Londres70]

If you are "spinning" your wheels trying to discuss these concerns with her, etc., then I would assume move on especially since you aren't getting what you need.

Based on your other posts sounds like you been dealing with this for a while.  

From the post you posted here in the Relationships forum, I got the impression that you all just started having sex 7 months ago, but that is not the case.  

Sounds like the relationship has "run" its course.  

[Londres70]

If she is starting to "disconnect" from you plus "0" intimacy there is a high possibility that she wants out.  

[Londres70]

Sounds like the relationship is possibly hitting the skids/has run its course.  Perhaps she is having doubts about being engaged and getting married.  Plus, sounds like your sex drives aren't jiving any more for whatever reason or reasons.  

Is she working alot and/or have obligations that are stressing her causing her not to feel like having sex?  

[tom219]

At the beginning of the relationship we would have sex more than now thats for sure. After I proposed to her it seemed to go downhill from there. I know my sex drive is through the roof and I thought maybe hers is slowing down or whatever. I try talking to her about our relationship even leaving the sex thing out of the factor. I will bring up something I am not happy about and then she gets really defensive about everything and I tell her that I am not trying to argue about it but it always turns into a big to do. I know that nothing has happened significantly to her in the past and that is why I am confused about the whole thing. I know it all sounds odd and that is why I guess I am in the need for some suggestions. Thanks again.

[Londres70]

Hmmm.....well, it's strange she would state that you just want to be with her for sex and you all just started having sex 7 months ago, but have been together for roughly two years.  Plus,  you all are engaged and will be married.  The situation sounds odd.  

Do you know if something traumatic happen to her in her past and/or recently? Has this been her view about sex the entire time you have known her?

I will agree with you about she is not revealing or telling you something that you probably don't want to hear AND/OR it is difficult for her to tell you.  

"No Intimacy. I guess other than that, she never really talks I have to start all the conversations and keep them going when we are together, she seems all alone in her own little world."  This is very concerning.  

Have you tried just talking in general about your relationship concerns without making sex the focus?  

I just feel like there is a piece or pieces missing from your story.  Anything else significant that has happened between you to?