Decisions, decisions, decisions

[EMOTIONALx2]

So I am in a relationship, been for three years now, attempted to have kids but ended in two miscarriages. I believe we are soul mates because my spirit used to go to him and his come to me when asleep. We even bought a house together. But I just can't get past his ways. Ex: he is not affectionate, he doesn't understand a relationship is two people not one, I feel I give more than I receive, I feel like he wants me to be more like his mother. I am an independent female, and I only require basic things which even that he cannot seem to handle. I don't really want to leave but as much as I expressed my feelings I still haven't gotten anything in return.  He thinks I am not serious about leaving him so he does nothing to take me serious. He is a good guy for the most part but lacks reality. He lacks educational aspect of things. I just want the best but he thinks I'm being pushy and selfish. He say give him time but how much time does one needs. I feel as much as I do for him when I ask for something it shouldn't be a problem getting it done. He apologize so much that it no longer has any meaning. I don't know which way to go. I have told him it's over but we do live in the same house, sleep in the same bed , but I really don't feel anything that I once felt. I love him but I feel like my feelings are buried. Any thoughts.

[specialmom]

I think you've gotten good advice here.  It's hard when you have a history with someone to move on but it sounds like deep down you realize that would probably be best.  You deserve to have an equal partner and to have your needs met as well.  

Wishing you luck in the next phase of your life.  Go be happy!!

[Jinx_777]

I could be wrong, but reading this it appears as if you have assumed the 'mother role'  ' I asked him to go get his GED over a year and a half and still nothing.' .  that sounds like something a mom would say.  
I agree with the poster above that you are more mature than him and you thought you could 'fix him'.  that is never a good idea and it is a trait in you that you will have to watch in the future.  If you find you are thinking "he would be great if only..." then walk away.  there are fully grown adult men out there.
If I were you I would get out now.  

[Chima7]

All I can say is, it's your life and ultimately your choice to stay or go. I know that if it were me, I would not have the patience to tolerate someone like him who is a lazy, selfish, unmotivated moocher who just kept taking, taking, taking. I literally have zero patience for that. So if it were me, I would have kicked him out of MY house a long, long time ago. I've worked so hard to be financially secure and independent, and no one will ever take that away from me. But you're not me and maybe this is the life you have chosen to live. I would not choose that for myself.

[jleeflcntrygrl]

I think at some point u have to ask yourself are u willing to settle? You sound like you are far more mature than he is. If u have kids with him u will never leave then u will resent him. U need to find someone who has there **** together and is a man not a boy.

[EMOTIONALx2]

The house is not an issue in my book. It's more of a business deal. Your right about a man not being a project. At first I didn't see that but now I feel that way. Sometimes I just thought he wanted or could be more. I didn't want to judge a book by its cover and I figured everyone deserves a chance. I also thought when someone sees how simple you are and you don't have much expectations it would of been easy. But I never knew how overwhelming it would of become. I don't want to let go of someone I had a strong connection with but I don't like this feeling of loneliness and his selfish, ignorant and lack of giving towards me. Can it get better, do you just move on, is it with fighting for.

[Londres70]

I would have a serious talk with him and figure out what you should do about the house and end this.

[Londres70]

Trying to have a baby with this guy?  Then, you bought a home with him?

Seriously?  Sounds like you aren't thinking clearly.  

It is not your duty to be his mother.  You are in a relationship with a boy, not a man.  Plus, you two are in NO way compatible.

You need to find a man, not a boy who you think you can turn into a man.

It's important to find someone who you don't have to shape and form into what you want, but to find him that way already.

A guy shouldn't be a "project" to work on.  

[EMOTIONALx2]

We bought this house together and he makes no attempt to make it a home. He puts no effort into me like I do him. It gets so lonely even though I lay next to him every night. I can go on and on.

[EMOTIONALx2]

No not married. I asked him to go get his GED over a year and a half and still nothing. We don't kiss, we have sex and only he gets off 9/10 times, he always talks about the same thing over and over but doesn't take action so I get tired of hearing about it. If I talk about things I like or want he doesn't attempt to get it, yet he always tell me things and knows that I will get it cause I want to make him happy. I bought a car and he drives around in it and when I ask him to buy it he refuses. He is materialistic and when I point that out he doesn't acknowledge it he tells me that if he wants something he always get it. We were trying to have a baby and after the first miscarriage he let me go to ER by my self. On Mother's Day he let his mother pick out some shoes for me and when I mentioned it he freaked out. Yet he spent more money on his mothers gift then mines. We suppose to get married but his ways has not changed so I refused.

[nursegirl6572]

While your post is lengthy, it's really quite vague.  Could you elaborate on what "needs" you feel he's not meeting?  What is he apologizing for?  Could it be that your expectations are a bit too lofty?  

I wish I could give you more advice, but you honestly don't say anything very specific.  Mostly just vague phrases.  With a little elaboration, it may make more sense.

[Life360_Dave]

Are you married?