Don't do it.

[Hobby10]

It's more of a statement then a comment.   I have felt with controlling abusive people in my time and I feel for women who feel trapped or don't feel they have a way out.  I've been reading in a book called"the verbally abusive relationship -- how to recognize it and how to respond" and I would suggest it for anyone being verbally abused or if u know someone who is. Sometimes we adapt to the abuse over time which is very sad and true.  The book talks about conditioning and there was an interesting part which read
"A scientist conducted an experiment. She put frog number one into a pan of very hot water. The frog jumped right out.  Then she placed frog number two in a pan of cool water.  This frog didn't jump out. Very gradually, the scientist raised the temperature of the water.  The frog gradually adapted until it boiled to death.  --- anonymous.

My point is we stay in relationships that aren't healthy for a lot of reasons kids, finances, don't want to b alone and bit by bit we are killing our spirits the essence of who we are.  And it can happen so gradually that u learn to tune out the. Iolence verbal abuse and rage til one day u can't tune it out anymore because u get a call in the middle of the night that your daughter who acted like everything was fine is in the ER because she got the crap beat out of her or u lost yet another job because the jealous boyfriend doesn't like the men u work with and calls 12 times a day til u get fired.  These are fake examples but people die all the time in the US over jealous out a control rage by selfish control freaks who won't seek help. If anyone sees ths post and is in a bad situation speak up.  Talk to us. Post a comment.  You do matter.  
and u don't have to be hit or called names one more day!!! Not one more day.  Not one more second.  There is help available and u are worth it.  message me if anyone needs guidance or. someone to listen.  All the best.  Hobby

[Hobby10]

Not -- typo.  Not reveal location

[Hobby10]

Thanks for the comments everybody.  And I'm not sure on an iPhone how to exactly cut and paste in different category etc..... Not the most computer savvy!   However,  if someone sees this and needs someone in the corner message me or post here.  Let us help.  Another abuse tactic is to isolate .... If he can keep u isolated maybe a friend can't help etc....... Speak out.  Giv the abuse a voice but be carefully about your safety.  In our area we have an organization called Alive that is supposed to b only clients that go there and you are supposed to reveal their location.  I think we still got that group about a half hour from where I live.  If u don't knw who to call in your area call the local police and inquire.  Please don't stay with someone who is violent love yourself enough to rebuild your life.  I know someone whose daughter had her abusive boyfriend back a truck up on her. Her mother said that had to take her organs out and replace them.  She eventually got out of the hospital amazing that she had lived thru.  She didn't hav memory of the accident.  She went back to him and whn she was alone with him she died her daughter in the next room.  That's the way I recall the story..... He was sentenced to 9 months.  Wouldn't that just make u sick. .......
         Anyway Thanx guys for the comments.  Peace and love, hobby

[shell921]

Good info - thanks for posting and I read that book years ago - it's a great book-! I want to mention something called "Stockholm Syndrome"
What is it?  It happens when captives begin to identify with their captors initially as a defensive mechanism, out of fear of violence. Small acts of kindness by the captor are magnified, since finding perspective in a hostage situation is by definition impossible. Rescue attempts are also seen as a threat, since it's likely the captive would be injured during such attempts.

It's important to note that these symptoms occur under tremendous emotional and often physical duress. The behavior is considered a common survival strategy for victims of interpersonal abuse, and has been observed in battered spouses, abused children, prisoners of war, and concentration camp survivors. I know a man who stays with an abusive wife because he has taken so much abuse over the years he thinks it is normal. It is not.

[specialmom]

Hi again,  I also wanted to say that sometimes too, a topic like this that is  mainly informational would be a great journal for you to start as well.  That way it is there for others to see it any time.  

thanks again for posting Hobby.  

[Kayannaboo]

Thanks so much for posting this, I really hope people take heed and listen and it makes alot of sense too. You get so used to verbal abuse that it becomes another thing in everyday life. Also, so persons believe that just because they are not being hit, its not that bad. Whoever said 'stick and stones break bones but words do not hurt' lied.

Could you also post this in the abuse community?

Keep well.


xoxoxoxo Anna

[specialmom]

Thanks for the post Hobby.  There are resources if someone is in this situation to help get them out if they feel trapped.  They can PM our moderators if they need help with numbers to call as well as other supportive messures too,.

[RainLover71]

Well said--This is so true.I hope people read this Hobby because it's real & needs to be talked about not hidden away.