what to do....

[Elise77]

Hello everyone, I wanted to hear opinions because I have had a shocking week and I am really confused. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. He mentioned before that he wanted to make a sex tape but I did not feel good about having those laying around. I told him I felt really uncomfortable about this. So..the other day I surprised him with his birthday presents a day early. Then after he fell asleep, I went on the computer. Under his search history was "alarm/spy cam." I clicked on it and felt sick to my stomach as I looked back and saw this was the alarm he had just bought and set up right in front of the bed. Luckily, he did not get anything on tape yet as he had just set it up. I took the alarm and left the apartment and have not went back since. He admitted he planned on keeping it there and filming us without me knowing. (Guess im lucky he forgot to clear his search history). Is this as crazy as I think? We met when I was 19-only serious bf I've had. Feel free to share opinions...thanks

[specialmom]

Well, as always------- good point Rockrose.  Usually the second our partner's eyes shut . . . we don't jump on their computer and check ot what's going on with them.  Do you know I've been married 11 years and I've NEVER gone into my husband's search history?  Not once.  

Anyway, if what you say is true------------- you know what to do here.  No 'boyfriend' is worth your dignity and he isn't safe at this point.  He'll do things behind your back to get what he wants----------  lie, cheat, steal.  Yuck.  

Move on.  good luck

[RockRose]

Just the fact that you routinely look through his search history (I'm guessing this was routine for you since you managed to catch it very quickly after he had done the search seems like more than just a crazy lucky coincidence you caught it quickly)  tells me there's something very wrong with the relationship.  That you were in the habit of searching for frightening/distressing things,  you knew not to trust him about something or other.

Best wishes.

[brice1967]

His thinking about this "not being that bad" is all of the proof you need to run away from this guy.  This is an infringement on so many levels....

[Elise77]

Thank you everyone for your help. It helps to hear this..he seems to think he has not done anything that bad....

[perch101]

This is seriously, seriously creepy behaviour.

Normal guys don't do this, he has violated you by setting up that camera after you said no......

I would have instantly broken up with him. Is this as crazy as you think? Yes. It's also illegal, and again.... seriously seriously creepy.

[AUSTIN431]

so scary i would stay as for away from him as you can no doesn't mean anything to him and that's a bad place to be with anyone when you know your consent doesn't need to be given for something to be done to you it wouldn't stop with just the video recordings which are bad enough and that he was so sneaky about seems like something he might have done before good luck you did the right thing don't look back and make sure you keep your family and friends close by as you know he doesn't take no for a answer

[brice1967]

I think you've got your head on straight.  If the guy is going to film/record a sex act with you, he'd better have your consent....  Stay away.