Aa
He wants anal sex but I do not. I don't want to loose him...
My boyfriend has expressed how much he likes anal sex and how it has been an impotant part of his sex life. The problem is, I have never liked it. It is uncomfortable for me and I don't feel it is necessary. When I tell him that I dont want to do it, he tells me that he would be gentle and do it properly where it wont be painful. He thinks that if I just gave it a try that I would really like it. He's getting this idea because other women he has dated would do anal intercourse with him and liked it. Also, he has a very large penis. It was difficult enough to take it in my vagina much less the thought of it in my a$$. He says he just cant understand why I would deny myself such pleasure. The subject has stressed me out so much that I cant enjoy our relationship. He is a very loving, affectionate and supportive man so everything except the anal subject has been wonderful. The affection he gives is not something I've gotten from most men I've dated in the past and it's hard to give that up but at the same time, I dont think anal intercourse is something he is willing to give up either. I don't know what to do. Any advise?
"People have engaged in every sex act that exists since before You were born". - i already said that in a previous post,. and i know WE didn't invent the sex. I have no problem with women who don't want anal sex for themselves, and as i aslo sayd higher in this thread, i don't find the refusal a reason for him to leave her.
To say that YOU find it unappealing and that YOU wouldn't want to do it is one thing, but to give advise about it, and to say DON"T DO IT, that's another and just isn't right.
I have a friend who's wife is a doctor. His teeth are caved and he's in pain alot because his own wife ... a doctor ... told him not to go to the dentist because he could get hepatitis. That scared him and to this day he wouldn't go see the dentist. Stupid advises lead to stupid decisions. Let's suppose for a sec that everyone here would tell chattypatti "go for it, it's wonderfull", and she would do it and get hurt? Wouldn't that be wrong?
That's what i was trying to say in my other post. Write your pros and cons, but let her make the decision.
You asked if i woud agree to have a penis in my anus. If i would know that this would make my wife feel any kind of pleasure during sex, i'd probably say yes. But last time i checked my wife didn't have a penis.
To say that YOU find it unappealing and that YOU wouldn't want to do it is one thing, but to give advise about it, and to say DON"T DO IT, that's another and just isn't right.
I have a friend who's wife is a doctor. His teeth are caved and he's in pain alot because his own wife ... a doctor ... told him not to go to the dentist because he could get hepatitis. That scared him and to this day he wouldn't go see the dentist. Stupid advises lead to stupid decisions. Let's suppose for a sec that everyone here would tell chattypatti "go for it, it's wonderfull", and she would do it and get hurt? Wouldn't that be wrong?
That's what i was trying to say in my other post. Write your pros and cons, but let her make the decision.
You asked if i woud agree to have a penis in my anus. If i would know that this would make my wife feel any kind of pleasure during sex, i'd probably say yes. But last time i checked my wife didn't have a penis.
COMMUNITY LEADER
How about those who like it do it and those who don't, don't. Who cares what other people do? Why would this upset anyone if someone says they wish their partner would try it? I'm not the bedroom police. I don't like the idea of someone threatening to cheat if they do not get to do this with their partner but then would say that this is just the tip of the ice burg as to the problems that couple has.
This is a place to give helpful advice without massive judgement.
This is a place to give helpful advice without massive judgement.
simply curious question - have You ever had a penis in Your anus? If You have not, would You? (with plenty of lube and a finger first?)
For Some I'm sure there is fear, for Many it's simply repulsive. One doesn't have to try something to know it's unappealing. I don't have to try a cigarette to know I don't want to smoke and that it's not good for me.
You suggest some Men might cheat if They don't get this at home. You are probably right - some Men would. Many of us wouldn't want the kind of Husband (man?) who's mind set is to cheat if He doesn't get anal sex at home. It's not nice for You to say She should try it before She decides if She likes it or not - there's nothing to decide - She ALREADY knows It's unappealing to Her (remember the cigarettes? - one doesn't have to "try" something to be repulsed)
PS
Age has nothing to do with this. Young People didn't invent sex. People have engaged in every sex act that exists since before You were born.
For Some I'm sure there is fear, for Many it's simply repulsive. One doesn't have to try something to know it's unappealing. I don't have to try a cigarette to know I don't want to smoke and that it's not good for me.
You suggest some Men might cheat if They don't get this at home. You are probably right - some Men would. Many of us wouldn't want the kind of Husband (man?) who's mind set is to cheat if He doesn't get anal sex at home. It's not nice for You to say She should try it before She decides if She likes it or not - there's nothing to decide - She ALREADY knows It's unappealing to Her (remember the cigarettes? - one doesn't have to "try" something to be repulsed)
PS
Age has nothing to do with this. Young People didn't invent sex. People have engaged in every sex act that exists since before You were born.
So this is the point in our discution where, if we would've been face to face u'd start yelling at me, only because u need to be right all the time, that's how old people behave when they're faced with a new situation. In this post some sayd if u want to, then try it, if not just tell him no. They gave options but kept an open mind to both posibilities. But u come and say DON"T DO IT HE'S A **** HEAD TELL HIM TO GO F HIMSELF.
You sayd you never tried it so how can you be so sure it will feal like you say it will.
For example how many of you drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes?
Did you ever listen to the ones saying "that's bad for you", "you can die from those" ?
What about drugs, those who are in their 60's must've tried it at one point. It was "the thing" of that moment.
So tell me how this is different. How does one way of posible pleasure but with risks, differ from the ones i just mentioned, who also come with risks?
I don't smoke and i don't drink alcohol, but i don't go arround telling people "stop drinking and smoking u **** head it tastes horrible and it can kill you".
The anus is not a sex organ. Very well, then stop kissing during sex, stop using your hands, close your eyes and use the ear plugs cuz all we need is a penis and a vagina. Hmm you don't even need to be awake.
You sayd you never tried it so how can you be so sure it will feal like you say it will.
For example how many of you drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes?
Did you ever listen to the ones saying "that's bad for you", "you can die from those" ?
What about drugs, those who are in their 60's must've tried it at one point. It was "the thing" of that moment.
So tell me how this is different. How does one way of posible pleasure but with risks, differ from the ones i just mentioned, who also come with risks?
I don't smoke and i don't drink alcohol, but i don't go arround telling people "stop drinking and smoking u **** head it tastes horrible and it can kill you".
The anus is not a sex organ. Very well, then stop kissing during sex, stop using your hands, close your eyes and use the ear plugs cuz all we need is a penis and a vagina. Hmm you don't even need to be awake.
maybe your friends who are doing a$$ fu@#*&^ aren't old -yet. but
if they are doing regular anal sex in their 30's & 40's problems may not show up until age 55 or 65. but they will! so i think it's important to know what damage you can do when you are young and stupid. stuff you'll regret when you are old and I AM over 50 ! so glad i never did any anal sex! yuk!
if they are doing regular anal sex in their 30's & 40's problems may not show up until age 55 or 65. but they will! so i think it's important to know what damage you can do when you are young and stupid. stuff you'll regret when you are old and I AM over 50 ! so glad i never did any anal sex! yuk!
COMMUNITY LEADER
Okay, this is an old post. I think what people do in the bedroom is their business. If someone wants to experiment, that is their right. BUT, both partners should be willing. I'm not in my 50's. I've known some to do 'this' and they say they have enjoyed it on an occasional basis. May not be my thing, but I don't begrudge those who are into it. And my friends who have this in their line up don't have any injuries to date. So, all should do what they are comfortable with and make decisions based on their own preferences. luck to all
This discussion was closed by the MedHelp Community Moderation team. If you have any questions please
contact us.
You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
