utterly scared

[aly79]

so here goes i am 16 weeks and 4 days pregnant all is going good with pregnancy a couple of scares here but nothing big then the b/f calls and says his ex is moving back into town heres the history on them they have 1 biological kid together 7 yrs old then he took in this other kid 3 (she cheated on him) but claim's hes his even tho hes not the father biologically they were together for 12 or 13 yrs but were only married almost 3 just got divorced last feb she mad some false accusations on him saying he beats her and is unable to make sound decisions as a father or parental figure in the boys life so he hasnt seen them for over a 1 1/2 yrs or so and while supporting him emotionally saying we will get the cased looked at in the meantime he has stayed to me and other people that he will do anything to get back in his kids life (keeping in mind him and his ex were on and off for 12 yrs) so when he calls and tells me shes moving back i get scared right away thinking omg hes going to leave me to go be with her and their kids what do i do i am so scared i am actully shaking i feel so cold and alone anyone have any advice    

[jo929]

When a man has an ex you have to expect all sorts of things, especially since you are not married to him he will not feel to bad about just taking off if he feels like it, i am sorry that you are in this, but maybe things will work out, be prepared if they dont  luck  jo

[KATE535]

I personally would not have chosen to have a baby so soon with a guy only just divorced a month earlier - your dates would suggest that to be the case. It is hard accepting someone who has married before and it takes time to adjust to a new relationship, let alone choosing to have a baby right away - I hope you haven't rushed into things too soon. But I'm not trying to criticise you, just highlight that you could've dealt with this kind of stress before you got pregnant - this is all you need with hormones and emotions raging!!
On the positive side of things, it's not that probable he'll go back to her - they have had a bad (?it seems?) relationship with lots of splits, his childrern mean a lot to him (so why would he leave the mother carrying his child?) and he'd be with her now if she meant that much to him.
Try showing him why he is better off with you - spoil him, treat him well, so he has no doubt about who he wants. He must love you if you're having a baby together right? So just hold on to that thought, there's no need to be scared.
Hope the pregnancy is going well :-)

[Judy246]

I would be concerned not scared, but you accepted him as he is and there is a lot of drama in his life, so I have to agree with the above....hope for the best, prepare for the worse.  Good luck.

[iam1butterfly]

teko is right on every point.
But, since you're already in deep with this man and his dysfunctional past,
my advice to you is... hope for the best; but prepare yourself for the worse!

[teko]

I bet you are scared. Unfortunately he has open baggage with this lady. Now you are smack dab in the middle of it and yet another child as well. You should have steered clear of this mess, but hey hindsite is always 20/20 right?  I wish I could say all is well, but has history has proven, they have an on and off again relationship with the kids in the mix. Hopefully you have been with this dude more than 4 months, but you say he just got divorced in Feb? So he is on the rebound. Never, Ever, Ever get involved with a guy carrying that kind of baggage until he has put it behind him. But since you did, I sincerely hope all works out for you. What will be will be and there is nothing you can do about it, so try to calm down. It may not be what you think it is. He may surprise you and tell her to get lost and propose. I hope so.