How to i start?

[gumbygumby]

I'm really lonely and depressed and i dont have anybody i love or trust. I can't rely on my family so i have to go make new friends. Never have before and dont know how. I'm 21 and live in california. Being social makes me very nervous but its my only chance. Im very unattractive but not interested in just getting layed. Pretty sure I'd be too scared anyways.

I cant think of any ideas of where to go that arent terrifying to me.  

Not very good a chit chat but can contribute very well to more deep conversations.

I like nature(plants, animals, black holes you name it) and good stories(movies, tv, books, music)

I have a talent for remembering things. I cant really choose what i remember so its kind of wierd. I can throw interesting bits of information into most conversations though.

I can have strong opinions but not without thinking about it logically first. I love it when somebody can change my mind.

uhhh yeah, well anyways anybody have advice? :P

[gumbygumby]

gave her a picture and now she wont reply to me ;_;

[mami1323]

Just because she has a son doesn't mean she's rushing into tying you down and making you a father to her child.  That's the first thing.  Second, you are going to have to send her a picture eventually so might as well get it over with.  If she likes you for your personality she will continue talking to you, if she's not interested in you because of how you look then you don't want her anyway. That would be very superficial of her.  Good luck.

[gumbygumby]

uhg! um, ok. Here's the news. I googled her and found a picture(i know it was a bad thing to do but i didnt think it would work!). She's gorgeous and i dont have a chance. Should i just send her a picture and get it over with?

[gumbygumby]

I havent met her yet other than emails. I think she might be in a hurry because she's 24 and has a son. She also told me that she deleted her ad after she got my reply. I'm really hoping she doesnt want to meet in person for a while.

[mami1323]

Tell her from the get go how you feel and so that she has no expectations.  Tell her you like to take things slowly to see where they go.  You like to get to know someone first.  Is there a reason why you feel like she wants to move quickly?  Did you meet her in person?  Were you intimate with her too soon?

[gumbygumby]

I read the personal ads on craigslist, mostly to kill time, but found one that i had to reply to. Likes a chubby belly and cartoons? Yowza! <3

Anyways, i think i may have gotten in over my head. I have the feeling she might be interested in making this serious more quickly than i would like.

Any advice?

[Judy246]

No biggy...we understood the the question and I hope you follow our advise. Good luck.

[gumbygumby]

oh crud. Why'd it take me so long to realize i screwed up the topic title? haha

[Judy246]

Relationships start out as friendships, so start slow and work yourself to where you both want to be with no pressures or fast expectations. Everything should fall into place naturally, but don't over think of what should be right now. Just let it fall into place naturally.

[gumbygumby]

Thanks for the advice. I really need to make up for lost time. I want regular friends, male or female, but i want to search in a direction that hopefully will introduce me to somebody who eventually be as close as my family should be.

[Judy246]

Start by liking yourself. I sense insecurity and just be yourself. Don't try to please people. If you have a possitive outlook, people will take notice. You make new friends by being yourself. If you feel ugly, work on taking care of your appearance.

If you like gardening, take class in it and you will meet people who have that in common. Volunteer in an animal shelter. You will enjoy it, the animals need it and you will make new friends. You enjoy reading, join a book club. They get together once a week to discuss the latest book read and share insight, but you have to start by accepting yourself as you are, taking care of you and be open to meeting new people. Good Luck!

[teko]

Your 21 with your life in front of you. Dont be in too big a hurry. You sound like a very interesting person. I am sure you are not ugly, maybe you just are that hard on yourself? Besides that, you know what they say about looks being only skin deep, it is so true. Your personality will win out regardless of how you look. Teach yourself how to make eye contact with others and say HI! How are you? And learn to smile! People will just rally around you will see. Good Luk