Husband doesn't do oral and I miss it and sex life in general is kinda boring

[dingdingding88]

I never want my husband to do a sexual act he is not comfortable with because that would just make me feel like a horrible person. Before marrying him, I didn't believe a sex act should be measured to a good guys character. He is a good guy but our sex life is dull. He doesn't give oral (I find I orgasm through oral sex instead of penetration) and I find myself reminiscing about the one guy (fwb) who gave mind blowing head almost everyday. He doesn't last long in bed and he says its because he is tired from work. He has a stressful job and doesn't get home until late so I can't fault him on that. He doesn't do foreplay either and once he cums, sex is basically at an end. I try to tell him that I want to orgasm too but it seem he kinda shrugs it off. Like, he knows its difficult for women to orgasm so he feels he doesn't need to attempt to try and I have a high sexual drive so now I just sit around reminiscing about my past sex conquest and kinda get depressed because i feel i don't matter in our sex life. I feel like a horrible person for thinking so much on my past sex partners. I don't want to leave him because of this, cheating is out of the question though I am scared I would be weak to a spontaneous opprtunity  from a person in my past, not likely but I'm scared of that decimal (I had multiple lover/friends with benefits. I am the type to travel and kinda feel thrills of life). What do I do, I try to talk to him...try to get him to help and find alternatives to pleasing me sexual without oral but he just says  he just need to build his stamina up once his work schedule gets better. I'm lost and don't know what to do. I feel it's my fault because I never had a committed relationship in my 27 years in life before I met him, we married in a haste and now I feel im being punished for it.  

[Ganonthedog]

Do you give him oral If you do stop and refuse and make regular sex scarce until he does you first!   If he does decide to go down even if it isnt very good play it up like it was wonderful and give him a exellent porn inspired B-job as a reward !! Reassure him flat out if he goes down on you His reward is gonna be mind blowing than Seeing you get extra excited while he is down there and giving him the great  reward after he will slowly start liking it !! He might not know what he is doing down there could be the reason he doesnt wanna do it so if needed guide him along without being bossy unless he likes you bossy!!  Or He isnt going down on you because he doesnt care about your pleasure if thats the case dont give him **** until he starts  because he dont deserve you Tell him that that feeling his tongue is one of your fetishes and you cannot be completly happy sexually if you dont get it once and a while Sorry thats just how it is and you cant help what turns you on and what your body needs !!

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Sorry to hear this.  You aren't being 'punished' hon.  It is what it is.  You two may not be completely sexually compatible but it sounds like other things are good in the relationship which may override that.  How's the communication about this?  Are there other things he could do besides oral?  A toy of some sort?  Experiment with that.  And talk to him---  of course, never uttering the words that it is dull or you are bored!  But that you want to spice it up and have this be something really wonderful for you both.  Try to talk about it and problem solve.  If he doesn't like giving oral, it will probably never be that great but if similar stimulation with something else besides his mouth will work, then go for that.  :>)  good luck