Aa
Dont wanna end it? Help
Long story short....
I meet my bf online almost 3 years ago. We talked here and there told each other everything
Meet in person in november... We would meet up in the middle of no where and just talk all night. First kiss was magical, everything was beautiful. Made it official dec 9th. Met his kids (7&4) week later. everything was just perfect. Got a place for him and the kids cause he had no where to go long story we moved in jan 13 after that... The swweeetness went out the window. I work I cook I clean and take care of the kids here and there. He dont work but gets money by doing side jobs. He has ZERO communication skills if its,serious he will say convo over, but when it comes to him its answer me now. Its like were just lovers not a couple.... I feel kinda used, I been trying to prove im good enough Nd now hes getting too comfortable... He scares me so much I cant even go to him to talk he'll just be like h,mm, idk. Its annoying. And hes 27... Im 20. Im grown been there done that I wanna be treat like the girlfriend not just the girl he has sex with slaves herself works and that it Im sad he wont care to bug me till ive said whats bothering me im sad I want it work considering,it only been that long. And its like he had multiple personalities? Any suggestions.. Men y do you think hes like this? Girls what shiuld I do
I meet my bf online almost 3 years ago. We talked here and there told each other everything
Meet in person in november... We would meet up in the middle of no where and just talk all night. First kiss was magical, everything was beautiful. Made it official dec 9th. Met his kids (7&4) week later. everything was just perfect. Got a place for him and the kids cause he had no where to go long story we moved in jan 13 after that... The swweeetness went out the window. I work I cook I clean and take care of the kids here and there. He dont work but gets money by doing side jobs. He has ZERO communication skills if its,serious he will say convo over, but when it comes to him its answer me now. Its like were just lovers not a couple.... I feel kinda used, I been trying to prove im good enough Nd now hes getting too comfortable... He scares me so much I cant even go to him to talk he'll just be like h,mm, idk. Its annoying. And hes 27... Im 20. Im grown been there done that I wanna be treat like the girlfriend not just the girl he has sex with slaves herself works and that it Im sad he wont care to bug me till ive said whats bothering me im sad I want it work considering,it only been that long. And its like he had multiple personalities? Any suggestions.. Men y do you think hes like this? Girls what shiuld I do
As a guy it sounds like he's taking you for a ride. Take care of my kids, clean for me, make the food, go run the errands...Geez. can he do anything for himself. I mean I'd tell him to get off his butt and get with it.
I know a lot of guys who are just like this. They expect their women to be servants and not equals in their relationship. You are tmarried to him, you didn't have his kids they are his responsibility to take care of not yours. Period.
If he wants you in his life then he needs to meet you half way. Treat you like a person first, one whom he love's and can cherish for who you are. Anything less he should pack up and go looking elsewhere.
I can imagine it is hard for you to think of that but you need to think of you first. What is best for you now and in the future. If he's doing this now and does not straighten up right away, then he'll be doing it in the future with you or worse.
As a guy I'd tell him to cut the crap. I can see right through him. So you've said later on that you had a discussion with him and he understands. Well I guess time will tell won't it? I seldom know men who change from that drastic of a level but it can be done if they truly want it to work.
I know a lot of guys who are just like this. They expect their women to be servants and not equals in their relationship. You are tmarried to him, you didn't have his kids they are his responsibility to take care of not yours. Period.
If he wants you in his life then he needs to meet you half way. Treat you like a person first, one whom he love's and can cherish for who you are. Anything less he should pack up and go looking elsewhere.
I can imagine it is hard for you to think of that but you need to think of you first. What is best for you now and in the future. If he's doing this now and does not straighten up right away, then he'll be doing it in the future with you or worse.
As a guy I'd tell him to cut the crap. I can see right through him. So you've said later on that you had a discussion with him and he understands. Well I guess time will tell won't it? I seldom know men who change from that drastic of a level but it can be done if they truly want it to work.
Just a reg dudes perspective...
Some women to men, are nothing more than what youve stated. Talking to someone does not change their buit in values, after all, your 20 and he's 27, right? that means in his eyes, and by the way he is acting he probably only goes after younger women who are unexpirenced with this kind of crap. You are not married which is good because most phony people at least can contain themselves until your locked in, no excuse to treat a beutiful young women, such as yourself like a slave. I dont think this is repairable, as he lost the mother of his kids and has alot of issues to work out in regards to that. You need to be treated like a princess, and if he cant do it, find someone who can. Dont listen to the women who say that thats not possible, because, I am one of those people. My rule is, the happier you make her, the happier you are. My advice is to RUN, not walk, run. Spend some time hanging out with friends so that you can have back the life he sucked out of you, and btw, the longer you stay, the more of yourself you will lose, to the point where you wont even know who you are. Talk is cheap. His excuses are just that.
Some women to men, are nothing more than what youve stated. Talking to someone does not change their buit in values, after all, your 20 and he's 27, right? that means in his eyes, and by the way he is acting he probably only goes after younger women who are unexpirenced with this kind of crap. You are not married which is good because most phony people at least can contain themselves until your locked in, no excuse to treat a beutiful young women, such as yourself like a slave. I dont think this is repairable, as he lost the mother of his kids and has alot of issues to work out in regards to that. You need to be treated like a princess, and if he cant do it, find someone who can. Dont listen to the women who say that thats not possible, because, I am one of those people. My rule is, the happier you make her, the happier you are. My advice is to RUN, not walk, run. Spend some time hanging out with friends so that you can have back the life he sucked out of you, and btw, the longer you stay, the more of yourself you will lose, to the point where you wont even know who you are. Talk is cheap. His excuses are just that.
lmt, I don't know what answer you were expecting to get on this forum, but it's obvious you are determined in an unworkable situation with a man who isn't husband material, and you're also determined to get pregnant so you can't even have the option to leave. So you'll have a built in excuse to say well I CAN'T leave. Because you don't want to, no matter how horrible this situation is.
He married you really fast so you wouldn't find out what he was like, and you married him fast because . . . I don't know. You say you've been through a lot in your short life, and maybe you just wanted to park your soul somewhere for the rest of your life and not have to be brave enough to be what you really can be, and reach your true potential in life. You've decided this is good enough, it's easier to just sit right here where it's miserable than it would be to actually get out there and try to be what you can be, and have a fulfilling life.
He didn't have "multiple personalities". He has one, and it's not a good one. And he married you speedy quick before you could catch a whiff of what he really is. And one conversation (if you really had one at all) will not change his core personality.
If you were my daughter or my niece, I would be dragging you out of there. You are throwing your life away on a man you barely knew.
I don't expect this post to change your thinking - you want to stop trying to live. You're ready to just stop.
Although I don't think you'll listen, I couldn't NOT say it. Sometimes, the message does get through.
Best wishes. I wish there was someone to haul you out of there, and give you sanctuary until you could have the courage to spread your wings and fly free.
He married you really fast so you wouldn't find out what he was like, and you married him fast because . . . I don't know. You say you've been through a lot in your short life, and maybe you just wanted to park your soul somewhere for the rest of your life and not have to be brave enough to be what you really can be, and reach your true potential in life. You've decided this is good enough, it's easier to just sit right here where it's miserable than it would be to actually get out there and try to be what you can be, and have a fulfilling life.
He didn't have "multiple personalities". He has one, and it's not a good one. And he married you speedy quick before you could catch a whiff of what he really is. And one conversation (if you really had one at all) will not change his core personality.
If you were my daughter or my niece, I would be dragging you out of there. You are throwing your life away on a man you barely knew.
I don't expect this post to change your thinking - you want to stop trying to live. You're ready to just stop.
Although I don't think you'll listen, I couldn't NOT say it. Sometimes, the message does get through.
Best wishes. I wish there was someone to haul you out of there, and give you sanctuary until you could have the courage to spread your wings and fly free.
Love yourself enough to take care of your needs. You have no obligation to him at this time (marriage, kids, etc.) If this isn't what you had hoped for, what's keeping you there? Take a minute to think of what you wanted out of life. Remember that vision and hold it close to you. Freeing yourself from a bad relationship will make room for something wonderful to come into your life, BUT that space has to be available for it to come to you.
I feel you know what to do. If you didn't know what your heart was saying to you, you wouldn't have felt the urge to ask for help.
Best of luck to you
I feel you know what to do. If you didn't know what your heart was saying to you, you wouldn't have felt the urge to ask for help.
Best of luck to you
I was REALLY hoping I'd get all the way through your post without you saying you're pregnant. YAAAY, you never said you were pregnant, great, you have the obvious option to pick up and leave as you should have done weeks ago.
So I went to your profile, and darned if you aren't in the process of trying to get pregnant.
I picture you in some horrible unbearable place, and instead of walking out you're trying to nail your feet to the floor so you can never leave.
What is the deal? You have no real relationship with him, he's a jerk, and you're trying to insure that you can never be free of him.
I suggest you get personal (not couples) counseling, but leave first.
Best wishes.
So I went to your profile, and darned if you aren't in the process of trying to get pregnant.
I picture you in some horrible unbearable place, and instead of walking out you're trying to nail your feet to the floor so you can never leave.
What is the deal? You have no real relationship with him, he's a jerk, and you're trying to insure that you can never be free of him.
I suggest you get personal (not couples) counseling, but leave first.
Best wishes.
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