Lesbian Sex or lack there of.

[LesbianBedDeath]

I have been in a committed honest lesbian relation ship for about 2 years now. My partner is beautiful, intelligent, and everything I could want or hope for. I have really excelled in my career since we have been together, and feel that this has put a strain on our sex life. I just do not know how to get the ball rolling again. I was working long hours and completely exhausted by the time I would return home. We worked opposite schedules for a while, so some days we would not see each other @ all. We have been living together for about 1 year. I guess we have both noticed a dramatic difference in our sex life since then. Last summer we decided to move in with her family so we could save and move out of state...well no shocker we weren't getting down with her folks around! Summer's over we move out into a nice little humble place of our own, We get down for a couple weeks and I got a promotion and all the extra long hours and exhaustion begins. My have gotten a grip on the hours, and understand that I could have lagged in sexual desire do to work related stress. However things are the same. I rarely feel like initiating sex, or even making it a priority. My partner is very emotional and self connected, she always knows exactly how she is feeling and my lack of desire, has begun to effect her self confidence. She thinks I am no longer attracted to her, or I must not be as in love with her as I once was. I am not a very open person, and @ most times I would rather walk away. This is not something I can walk away from, I have always been a very sexual person and I am having a really difficult time trying understand what has happened to me. Or if things are all on me...she seems to think so.


I am 28 years old...I am a young gun..why the lack of desire?

[SquirreliciousAngel]

Don't fret, this is a very common occurrance.

Here are some ideas...

1) De-stress yourself by taking a long hott relaxing bath with some nice smelling salts and general aromatherapy products.

2) Plan something "sporatic" for instance plan to take an afternoon off and surprise your partner with a romantic afternoon. Make the bedroom up all nice, maybe put some rose pedals on the bed, light some candles and take your time. Admire her body the way you would have when you first started dating. Wooo her again, this will help her to feel desired again.

3) Try to talk to your partner about planning some together time, time away from all the hussle and bussle of work and just be together. Even if its only once every other month, its so important for couples to just take time and enjoy being with each other and not having to worry about work, or cleaning the house, who's cooking dinner etc.  Just cuddle up on the couch and enjoy yourselves.


Hope this helps!
~S.A.

[specialmom]

Even though  you are young, hormones can still play a role.  How is your thyroid, for example?  If it is slow, sexual desire wanes.  Do you have any level of depression, even a low level?  This can also do a number on libido.  I think the circumstances have probably played a role as well as living with parents when you are an adult couple is not conducive to a sexy relationship. Also, have you ever been in a "mature" relationship in which you've been with a partner for a significant period of time?  Are there other problems in the relationship in terms of compatibility?
These are just some ideas about what could affect your libido.  

[loumacn]

Sort it out asap! Before she loves you and leaves you! You need to prioritize and if these commitments are over-running your relationship - drop them! Have you started taking any medication? Maybe you could see a councilor? Your partner sounds very understanding, but how long for?