Lost interest in men and relationships

[Sparklepants1990]

Hi I am a 25 year old female. I have been extremely unlucky in love and I have never been in a proper committed long term relationship, I seem to go for the worst kind men men who were secretly in relationships stringing me along or men who used me or men who were just not interested in me or men who had girlfriends knew I liked them and got a thrill out of leading me on.

I felt that I was doing all the work and far more interested then they ever were eventually being replaced by another girl. Even though I never had a proper relationship I became so attached to these men each time I was let down felt like a break up I feel live been through 4/5 awful break ups in by time being let down lied to or made a fool of.

Recently I have been completely turned off men I haven't even kissed a man in over a year I feel terrified If anyone approaches me and I tend to brush them off immediately I feel this is to avoid putting myself in a vulnerable position to be made a fool of again I say back away before they get a chance to. It's gotten so bad I am rarely attracted to men anymore or even notice them I feel almost abnormal I have no sexual desire at all I am also suffering with anxiety atm which I am seeing a counsellor for this means I don't go out much and am a very nervous person
However I worry this feeling or lack of will never go away I long to feel that butterfly feeling and sence of attraction and comfort I used to feel for men it's like it's almost dissapeared I worry I'll never get married like I've always dreamed or fee/ that connection with a man again . Please help me shed some light on this and if it is a normal thing to happen thank you

[Sparklepants1990]

Hi yes I have been visiting a counsellor to deal with anxiety and also to seek help for the bad/ lack of relationship I encountered with my birth father has a child I grew up with all women being told not to trust men. I had my grandfather who was amazing but he wasn't there much due to work I feel this is why I am uncomfortable around men and struggle with relationships I just feel abnormal as such to have such lack of feeling or interest

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome.  Well, first let me say that I'm sorry you've had some unpleasant experiences in the past.  That really can impact us.  You are still very young with plenty of time to meet someone special and it sounds like that you'd want this in your future.  

Have you ever considered talking to a therapist just to explore your feelings?  

I think keeping your feet wet by having male friends is a good idea.  Until you are 'ready' you don't have to date anyone.  But these connections could prove very valuable to you.  

But I like the idea of your talking to someone to work on bringing down some walls and understanding that you can break patterns if this is what led you to have bad relationships in the past as well as the fact that your past does not have to predict the future---  at all.

good luck