how do i get over my boyfriend lying to me

[angel_babyx3]

You may think i'm being really stupid about being mad about this but i'm going to tell you what happened and you can judge on what you think.

My boyfriend and I have been toghter for a while now. (were 20 and 22) In august he started working at a new job. He met a girl who he worked with, they flirted a lot at work and he really liked her. It's been 2 weeks they been talking a lot at work&flirting she was quiting so i guess he was upset that it was her last day so he asked her out on a date and they went out one night when he told me he was working. They ONLY kissed on the lips so i don't know if thats cheating, He deleted me off facebook i asked him why he said he didn't but he deleted his account. I found out he didn't really deleted his account he deleted me because he added the new girl her name is April and he didn't want April and I finding out about each other. The next day after there date he texted her and she never responded. They have not talked since and its been 4months. A month later (September) he came over my house, it was actually really cute how he did it! it was 1 in the morning and he threw pebbles at my house like in movies it was so cute and i came running over, we sat on the table outside and he came out and told me the truth about eveything!!! i was hurt but happy he told me the truth to i did give him credit for coming out with the truth we stayed up to 4am talking. I quickly forgave him and got over it.

It's been 4months since he went out with april and kissed her and it effects me now! I told him how it is bothering me now he thinks im being stupid because its been 4months and he made a commitment to me in september that he will be with me and only me along as were toghter and i do believe he has been with just me since then. I asked him why he went out with her he says because shes very nice and funny. She made him laugh. Them going out and kissing bothered me but what really botherd me is not feeling good enough. I feel like im not nice or funny enough for him. I do a lot for him. When he needs money i gave it to him, when hes sick i would buy him medicine,i would stay up with him and talk to him when hes upset or depressed, i tell him i love him and what he means to me and that im thankful for a guy like him, when he couldn't drive one day i would drive him, She hasn't done anything like that for him.I done a lot for him and i really love him but now i feel like im not good enough. I may not be so funny and maybe i don't make him laugh like she did and thats whats really bothering me now. Am i being stupid for thinking like this 4months later???

[Judy246]

also, stop spending another dime on him. He should be taking care of you, not you taking care of him. He know you have a good heart, love him and help him out financially if need be. Don't let him do this. He is to take care of you and your needs, not the other way around. Judy

[Judy246]

This is your b/f and you were made aware of his behavior with this girl at his job? He wanted to and did date her and kissed her and you are asking if this is cheating...ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Yes, he cheated on you, which means he was unfaithful, dishonest, untrustworthy, opportunist and playing you likea fool and you took it. It's just a matter of time that he will do it again, so don't put you heart out there with this guy, because he is not worth it and you deserve to be loved, respected and appreciated for who you are. Personally, I would have dump his *** immediately. Never let any man, ever treat you the way he has treated you.

[angel_babyx3]

You're right Mami1323 i think i'm just being irrational. I do trust him and that i know of he has only been with me these 4 months. He is a lot different now than he was when we first started going out. You're right i gotta move forward.

Jo929 I'm sorry but i don't agree with that at all. I think once you make a commitment to be with someone then you should be with them only, weather its just a boyfriend or girlfriend or marriage. I look at it like this if you are just bf/gf and you are already not staying faithful to ur bf/gf and always messing around then how could you ever build the relationship to being engaged/marriage ? If theres no ties when you're just bf&gf then whats the point in having the label bf&gf wouldn't it just be friends with benfits?

[jo929]

Remember he is just a boyfriend and you are just a girl fried their are no ties you are not married so that makes each of you free to do as you please  luck  jo

[mami1323]

Honestly, you and him were a new relationship and perhaps he was questioning whether or not he wanted to be with you.  Of course you're going to be bothered hearing how he felt about her and then wondering about yourself but him doing what he did had nothing to do with you and about him.  He obviously wasn't as committed to you as you were with him.  I feel like, you forgave him, than really there is no point in being mad at him 4 months later.  You accepted it, you've moved forward with him and he's right, there is no reason for you to bring it up now.  Unless you don't want to be with him.  Trust was definitely shattered but you can rebuild your relationship into something better if you wanted to.  In the past 4 months has he proven to now be trustworthy?  You can't change the past but you can change your present and the future, if he's what you want, than "get over it", that's what men say right?....lol.  But seriously, you will have to if you want to continue in a relationship with him.

[broke123]

so technically he cheated on u? im not sure how committed to each other at the time, casually dating or bf/gf officially. it depends on how much trust he betrayed. if he swore his love for u every day for the first 4 months then went out with a different girl. that would be the end for me. but if it was casual then i dunno. and if now he says hes commited to u, then MAYBE its ok. still serious red flags are popping up. i guess if u want to be with him nothing left to do but "wait and see"

[angel_babyx3]

It was 4months, now were toghter 8months.

[broke123]

how long were u together at the time he went out with her?

[angel_babyx3]

also what i want to add is the only reason why it ended is because she never responded to him. That makes me wonder if she did talk to him then what? Would he really od left me for her? I asked him this and he says he doesn't know and its been 4months ago to get over something hat happened in the past he says he made a commitment to me now and won't do it again. I guess im just being insecure in wondering what could of happened if she did respond to him. I'm just also scared that this could happen again.