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My inlaws ruined my wedding reception! (sorry so long and bad language!)
The wedding reception from Hell...
Well my wedding went really well... I'm officially Heather LeAnn Clark. It was really pretty. The reception on the other hand was horrible. Horrible isn't the word for it. Here's how it went:
First of all, after the wedding we started cleaning all that up and redecorating for the reception. Christine and Ambrey were awesome... they helped me out with everything. After the wedding they completely took care of everything. They did exactly what I wanted them to do and kept asking me if it was all right. JJ and I ran home real quick to get more things and on our way back I saw Christine WALKING home... We stopped and picked her up and found out Dixie, JJ's mother, and Krystal, JJ's sister were throwing a fit because things weren't the way they wanted it. I guess every idea Christine and Ambrey had they bitched about. Then they were talking about them behind their backs (oh what a surprise). They made a comment about Ambrey saying "I don't even know who the hell she is so what does it matter what she wants". All this being said while they were sitting on their ***** pointing fingers telling people what to do. And Christine and Ambrey did a FANTASTIC job. Exactly what I wanted. So I picked up Christine and took her home... I wasn't even sure she was going to come back, thats how bad those people were being.
Then we get back to the hall and JJ asked the DJ about his limo service... The guy said he could get his limo there and take the whole wedding party around town for only $25 so we were really excited. It was cool to be able to all go out together. Well, Krystal throws a fit because she cleaned out her car... (a fancy ol' pontiac grand prix) for us to drive around in. She acts like a three year old throwing a temper tantrum and cries and whines about it. Dixie goes into the back room and I hear "James Clark get in here" from her. She yells at MY husband because we aren't going to use Krystals car to drive around it. Well, I say **** them whatever and we all get in the Limo and drive around town for about 20 minutes while the guests arrive and everyone gets settled. When we get back the DJ announced that we were there and everything is going okay until I find out that Krystal is sitting in her car crying like a baby. Tony says she's mad because I didn't invite her to be a part of the wedding party. (She's not even ******* nice to me... she's a *****.) Then Dixie is sitting there making a scene crying like a baby trying to get as much attention as possible. At this point, I'm ready to flip. I wanted to send everyone home. Then we're getting ready to cut the cake and I can't find my new husband... I looked everywhere and I find out he in KRYSTALS car talking to HER. I go out there and get him and we come in and cut the cake. I was already miserable and pissed off and wanting to go home. The night goes on and I'm trying to ignore the whole ******* bunch of them. I should have sent them home then. THEN when we're supposed to do the garder and flower toss I can't find him again. This time I'm irrate. I go out there (where he's been for 20 minute... no not with his bride, with his immature ******* sister) and get him. I told him "I am not going to ******* put up with this today! This is the ONE day thats not all about them and I can't handle them." So we get into it and I'm crying and ready to just drive off and forget the whole thing. Krystal pulls of like a bat out of hell acting like a ******* baby. (too bad she didn't ******* run into something) So I'm miserable, pissed of at my husband, and crying at my wedding reception. More time goes by, basically just like that... I find out later that AMY, JJ's other sister, asked MY MOM to go out and talk to Krystal, who pulls to the back of the parking lot and sat there the rest of the night. My mom basically said **** you... It wasn't her problem. Tony appologized several times for the way his wife was acting. The poor guy deserves a hell of a lot better than that stupid *****. He knows exactly what I'm going through, he has to put up with them all too. And of course, they're constantly talking about him behind his back. But then, as we're getting ready to open presents the guy from the American legion comes over and goes "You're the one who signed the contract right... I need you to come with me for a minute." He took me into the mens restroom and showed me where a toilet had been broken and he said that two toilets had been clogged and I was going to have to pay for all of it. By that point I was so pissed off I couldn't stand it. I was crying again and I told mom to send everyone home. She didn't though... I went outside for a while and I guess JJ, Tony, Joey, and a couple other guys went over and talked to the guy and he was a total **** to them. By the end of the night that was handled, and It was an accident so I don't think I'll have to pay anything but the dude was a total ******* to us. Dixie was a total ***** the rest of the night and Krystal sat in her car pouting. My night was ruined... the ONE RECEPTION I GET was totally ruined by my "new" inlaws. I'm done with all the fuckers. This is nothing new, they tend to ruin everything all the time. I didn't want her to ******* be there in the first place because she's been doing this kind of **** all week. She's called me Kristly (Jj's ex wife) three times and its taken all I could do not to flip out on her then. Stupid *****.
Then on top of all of that, they are now saying its MY FAULT that the reception was a disaster because I didn't take charge of things myself. ITS MY WEDDING, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO. They ruined my reception. Thats the whole thing. They made it absolutely miserable. But now its my fault. **** YOU! They just couldn't stand that ONE DAY wasn't all about them. THIS WAS MY WEDDING.
I guess I should add that she also ruined the birth of my first child. Not ten minutes after I push my daughter out she goes, "you did a lot better than SOMEONE ELSE I know" and i said "who?" and she goes "Kristy" (jj's ex.) WHY ******* SAY THAT AT THE BIRTH OF MY CHILD?! Because she's a coniving *****. I will always remember that minute. And I will always remember her ruining my reception.
So now I'm done. I'm completely done with all of them. I don't want to see them, I don't want to hear from them, I don't want to think about them. My daughter WILL NOT be a part of their lives and will not know who any of them are. JJ is just as pissed off as I am and If I have anything to do with it, he won't either. I seriously want to move out of the state and never worry about them again. They will never have the chance to ruin any part of my life again.
If that makes me a *****, then fine. I'm a *****. They're just lucky I didn't make a joke of them at my reception. Of course, they do a pretty good job of that themselves.
DROP ME A COMMENT AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS WHOLE MESS
Well my wedding went really well... I'm officially Heather LeAnn Clark. It was really pretty. The reception on the other hand was horrible. Horrible isn't the word for it. Here's how it went:
First of all, after the wedding we started cleaning all that up and redecorating for the reception. Christine and Ambrey were awesome... they helped me out with everything. After the wedding they completely took care of everything. They did exactly what I wanted them to do and kept asking me if it was all right. JJ and I ran home real quick to get more things and on our way back I saw Christine WALKING home... We stopped and picked her up and found out Dixie, JJ's mother, and Krystal, JJ's sister were throwing a fit because things weren't the way they wanted it. I guess every idea Christine and Ambrey had they bitched about. Then they were talking about them behind their backs (oh what a surprise). They made a comment about Ambrey saying "I don't even know who the hell she is so what does it matter what she wants". All this being said while they were sitting on their ***** pointing fingers telling people what to do. And Christine and Ambrey did a FANTASTIC job. Exactly what I wanted. So I picked up Christine and took her home... I wasn't even sure she was going to come back, thats how bad those people were being.
Then we get back to the hall and JJ asked the DJ about his limo service... The guy said he could get his limo there and take the whole wedding party around town for only $25 so we were really excited. It was cool to be able to all go out together. Well, Krystal throws a fit because she cleaned out her car... (a fancy ol' pontiac grand prix) for us to drive around in. She acts like a three year old throwing a temper tantrum and cries and whines about it. Dixie goes into the back room and I hear "James Clark get in here" from her. She yells at MY husband because we aren't going to use Krystals car to drive around it. Well, I say **** them whatever and we all get in the Limo and drive around town for about 20 minutes while the guests arrive and everyone gets settled. When we get back the DJ announced that we were there and everything is going okay until I find out that Krystal is sitting in her car crying like a baby. Tony says she's mad because I didn't invite her to be a part of the wedding party. (She's not even ******* nice to me... she's a *****.) Then Dixie is sitting there making a scene crying like a baby trying to get as much attention as possible. At this point, I'm ready to flip. I wanted to send everyone home. Then we're getting ready to cut the cake and I can't find my new husband... I looked everywhere and I find out he in KRYSTALS car talking to HER. I go out there and get him and we come in and cut the cake. I was already miserable and pissed off and wanting to go home. The night goes on and I'm trying to ignore the whole ******* bunch of them. I should have sent them home then. THEN when we're supposed to do the garder and flower toss I can't find him again. This time I'm irrate. I go out there (where he's been for 20 minute... no not with his bride, with his immature ******* sister) and get him. I told him "I am not going to ******* put up with this today! This is the ONE day thats not all about them and I can't handle them." So we get into it and I'm crying and ready to just drive off and forget the whole thing. Krystal pulls of like a bat out of hell acting like a ******* baby. (too bad she didn't ******* run into something) So I'm miserable, pissed of at my husband, and crying at my wedding reception. More time goes by, basically just like that... I find out later that AMY, JJ's other sister, asked MY MOM to go out and talk to Krystal, who pulls to the back of the parking lot and sat there the rest of the night. My mom basically said **** you... It wasn't her problem. Tony appologized several times for the way his wife was acting. The poor guy deserves a hell of a lot better than that stupid *****. He knows exactly what I'm going through, he has to put up with them all too. And of course, they're constantly talking about him behind his back. But then, as we're getting ready to open presents the guy from the American legion comes over and goes "You're the one who signed the contract right... I need you to come with me for a minute." He took me into the mens restroom and showed me where a toilet had been broken and he said that two toilets had been clogged and I was going to have to pay for all of it. By that point I was so pissed off I couldn't stand it. I was crying again and I told mom to send everyone home. She didn't though... I went outside for a while and I guess JJ, Tony, Joey, and a couple other guys went over and talked to the guy and he was a total **** to them. By the end of the night that was handled, and It was an accident so I don't think I'll have to pay anything but the dude was a total ******* to us. Dixie was a total ***** the rest of the night and Krystal sat in her car pouting. My night was ruined... the ONE RECEPTION I GET was totally ruined by my "new" inlaws. I'm done with all the fuckers. This is nothing new, they tend to ruin everything all the time. I didn't want her to ******* be there in the first place because she's been doing this kind of **** all week. She's called me Kristly (Jj's ex wife) three times and its taken all I could do not to flip out on her then. Stupid *****.
Then on top of all of that, they are now saying its MY FAULT that the reception was a disaster because I didn't take charge of things myself. ITS MY WEDDING, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO. They ruined my reception. Thats the whole thing. They made it absolutely miserable. But now its my fault. **** YOU! They just couldn't stand that ONE DAY wasn't all about them. THIS WAS MY WEDDING.
I guess I should add that she also ruined the birth of my first child. Not ten minutes after I push my daughter out she goes, "you did a lot better than SOMEONE ELSE I know" and i said "who?" and she goes "Kristy" (jj's ex.) WHY ******* SAY THAT AT THE BIRTH OF MY CHILD?! Because she's a coniving *****. I will always remember that minute. And I will always remember her ruining my reception.
So now I'm done. I'm completely done with all of them. I don't want to see them, I don't want to hear from them, I don't want to think about them. My daughter WILL NOT be a part of their lives and will not know who any of them are. JJ is just as pissed off as I am and If I have anything to do with it, he won't either. I seriously want to move out of the state and never worry about them again. They will never have the chance to ruin any part of my life again.
If that makes me a *****, then fine. I'm a *****. They're just lucky I didn't make a joke of them at my reception. Of course, they do a pretty good job of that themselves.
DROP ME A COMMENT AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS WHOLE MESS
Well, it certainly sounds like it turned into a catastrophe for you and I'm sorry to hear that it had to happen on your wedding day. But in all honesty, the way you speak of it now and the way you describe your reactions during the time it was happening, you sound about as mature as the rest of them.
I think it would be anyone's right to be angry if their wedding was overrun by a bunch of tantrum-throwing, profanity-spewing women, but it's how *you* handle your anger and present yourself that sets you apart from them or brings you down to their level.
You've married into this family, so you can't just be "done with them" and expect them to drop out of your lives. They're your husband's AND your daughter's family. As much as you may dislike them, it's really very selfish to deliberately want to cut them out of your husband's and daughter's lives just because you don't like them. The more you try to enforce that, the worse you are going to make *yourself* look to most everybody after a while. You'll be the one viewed as the uncompromising control freak.
Be the better, more mature person here. You can make yourself look good if you're willing to try. It's much easier to gain approval on all sides by being as understanding, giving, and loving as you can. Then if they remain the same bunch of immature snobs after a while, you come across as the sweet-tempered hero to everyone else.
I think it would be anyone's right to be angry if their wedding was overrun by a bunch of tantrum-throwing, profanity-spewing women, but it's how *you* handle your anger and present yourself that sets you apart from them or brings you down to their level.
You've married into this family, so you can't just be "done with them" and expect them to drop out of your lives. They're your husband's AND your daughter's family. As much as you may dislike them, it's really very selfish to deliberately want to cut them out of your husband's and daughter's lives just because you don't like them. The more you try to enforce that, the worse you are going to make *yourself* look to most everybody after a while. You'll be the one viewed as the uncompromising control freak.
Be the better, more mature person here. You can make yourself look good if you're willing to try. It's much easier to gain approval on all sides by being as understanding, giving, and loving as you can. Then if they remain the same bunch of immature snobs after a while, you come across as the sweet-tempered hero to everyone else.
So much for the mature approach. :-\ hldeskin, when every other word you write is an offensive curse word, how do you expect anyone, much less your in-laws to take you seriously?
LOL! Here I am getting all wordy and you say it simply and completely with one short quote!
"If you're at a family wedding, and the bride yells the F word at the groom, you might be a redneck". - Jeff Foxworthy
it really sucks when family can't just accept the new additions to the family and be at peace with it, but let me tell you, you are not alone. my husband's family lives in colorado (we live in nj), our wedding was interesting to say the least. my family never met his family until the day before our wedding. they are from two totally different states and live very different lifestyles. my family paid for our whole wedding on short notice ( i was pregnant and wanted to get married before the baby) eventhough my parents didn't have enough $ for everything, my whole extended family pitched in and made it a really nice event. my husbands parents (i dont even call them in-laws) didnt help with one thing. not one dime. just showed up. they even had the nerve to call my husband and ask that we invite more people, people they wanted to come. my family and i shrugged it off and moved on. but, to make matters worse, my husband (gotta love him) decided to give a speech at our reception thanking everyone and their brother for coming to the wedding, being part of lives, etc. i mean everyone and he even went from person to person, name to name. the best part - he never once mentioned my family - at all. not my mom, or dad or brother or aunts and uncles. the people who made the wedding happen! needless to say, that left my family hurt and angry. i was completely stuck in the middle of it all and the weeks following the wedding were no fun for me or my husband. its since blown over, but geez! what a way to start our lives together!
Wow...it really does sound like an awful night. That said, did you really think it would be any other way? I mean you KNEW what they were like, right?
Also, don't count on your husband disowning them. His spending all that time in the car with his sister when he should have been with you speaks volumes. He won't disown them. He'll shrug his shoulders eventually (the way he probably has his entire life) and hope you come around. If you don't, he'll sneak off to see them. And one day he'll insist on taking his kids to see them (and unless you can prove they are abusive or drug addicts, he'll be able to do it). Your kids will always be a part of these people's lives--and you have more control of it being married to him than if you are not. If you end up not being together one day, your kids will be submersed in that family whenever he has them.
You need to realize, that no matter what they do or say, he has a very different perspective than you. He has a very deep connection with his sister--he opened Christmas presents with her when they were little, they looked for Easter eggs, they had family trips together, birthday parties, picnics, etc. He sees her through different eyes. His mother is his mother--no matter how inappropriate she may be, she is still his mother and he has memories of her that you can't even imagine. And while he may be "loyal" to you for now, if you force him to disown them, it won't be long before he's sneaking off to see them and the more difficult you are and the more you try to stop him, the nicer and more supportive they will be to him.
While it sounds really difficult to do, you would be very, very smart to try to see how you can be civil to each other. Figure out how to stop by for an hour at Christmas--or meet at a restaurant for a Christmas dinner together the week of Christmas, invite them to a family birthday party for your child at Chuck E Cheese's for an hour (have one for friends at your house separately). Figure out how to make it tolerable for you--make get-togethers short and sweet and in neutral places. That's the only way, imo, you will end up married for long. Trying to come between your husband and his family will not work. No matter how angry he may get at them.
Also, don't count on your husband disowning them. His spending all that time in the car with his sister when he should have been with you speaks volumes. He won't disown them. He'll shrug his shoulders eventually (the way he probably has his entire life) and hope you come around. If you don't, he'll sneak off to see them. And one day he'll insist on taking his kids to see them (and unless you can prove they are abusive or drug addicts, he'll be able to do it). Your kids will always be a part of these people's lives--and you have more control of it being married to him than if you are not. If you end up not being together one day, your kids will be submersed in that family whenever he has them.
You need to realize, that no matter what they do or say, he has a very different perspective than you. He has a very deep connection with his sister--he opened Christmas presents with her when they were little, they looked for Easter eggs, they had family trips together, birthday parties, picnics, etc. He sees her through different eyes. His mother is his mother--no matter how inappropriate she may be, she is still his mother and he has memories of her that you can't even imagine. And while he may be "loyal" to you for now, if you force him to disown them, it won't be long before he's sneaking off to see them and the more difficult you are and the more you try to stop him, the nicer and more supportive they will be to him.
While it sounds really difficult to do, you would be very, very smart to try to see how you can be civil to each other. Figure out how to stop by for an hour at Christmas--or meet at a restaurant for a Christmas dinner together the week of Christmas, invite them to a family birthday party for your child at Chuck E Cheese's for an hour (have one for friends at your house separately). Figure out how to make it tolerable for you--make get-togethers short and sweet and in neutral places. That's the only way, imo, you will end up married for long. Trying to come between your husband and his family will not work. No matter how angry he may get at them.
hldeskin - Wow. What an awful, awful way to start your married lives together. But honey, you're going to have to make your peace with this and let it go or your in-laws will win this battle. They're going to be a part of your life for a very long time, so do try to take the high road with them.
I hope you and your husband can have a serious talk about how you both will deal with this kind of behavior in the future, and at some point have the same talk with his family. The only thing all parties are required to do is be polite. You don't have love each other, or even like each other, but nobody should tolerate constant rudeness. If they're rude at future gatherings (and there WILL be future gatherings), then leave. Your husband should depart with you and show a united front - with you, his wife. Make it clear now, in the beginning, that you both will mind your manners and you expect nothing but the same courtesy from them. Don't present this idea as some kind of threatening ultimatum. As much as you want to (deservedly) smack them all upside the head both verbally and physically, leave the attitude at home and try to make a new start.
I can tell you from bitter experience that holding on to grudges will only harm you in the long run. Allowing these people to control your emotions and keep you angry and upset gives them power over you. They would like nothing more than to continue pushing your buttons and watch you explode. Don't give them the drama they're looking for.
The important thing right now is that you are married and have a child. Focus on your marriage and your own family. Over time, the hurts of your wedding day will fade away. Oh - and congratulations! :-)
I hope you and your husband can have a serious talk about how you both will deal with this kind of behavior in the future, and at some point have the same talk with his family. The only thing all parties are required to do is be polite. You don't have love each other, or even like each other, but nobody should tolerate constant rudeness. If they're rude at future gatherings (and there WILL be future gatherings), then leave. Your husband should depart with you and show a united front - with you, his wife. Make it clear now, in the beginning, that you both will mind your manners and you expect nothing but the same courtesy from them. Don't present this idea as some kind of threatening ultimatum. As much as you want to (deservedly) smack them all upside the head both verbally and physically, leave the attitude at home and try to make a new start.
I can tell you from bitter experience that holding on to grudges will only harm you in the long run. Allowing these people to control your emotions and keep you angry and upset gives them power over you. They would like nothing more than to continue pushing your buttons and watch you explode. Don't give them the drama they're looking for.
The important thing right now is that you are married and have a child. Focus on your marriage and your own family. Over time, the hurts of your wedding day will fade away. Oh - and congratulations! :-)
OHHHH MY GOODNESS, i would have lifted my dress up and beat their *****!!!!!!!
i am so sorry you had to go through that, thank god ur wedding was better. i think the best thing u can do is stay the hell away from them.
me and my husband were married a little over 4 years ago. and i thought i would die from what my family did to us. for one they didnt want me to married him, but they all knew i didnt give a **** what they thought. so anyway i had everything booked. and then a week before our wedding my stepmother goes to the court house and said that i was abusing my son, and got him taking away from me for a week until i went to court, i did and got my son back the day before my wedding. then they (stepmom,mom,dad,aunt,andstepdad) canceled everything behind our backs! i got a call the day before from my mom asking that there will not be a wedding! i didnt have the money to do it myself so i called friends and family and canceled everything. on march 5,2004 me and my husband were married at the court house with my mother in law, hubbys friend and the kids!!!!!! what a lovely way to start our life togetther!!!!!!
i understand ur pain and i wish u the best!!!!!!!
i am so sorry you had to go through that, thank god ur wedding was better. i think the best thing u can do is stay the hell away from them.
me and my husband were married a little over 4 years ago. and i thought i would die from what my family did to us. for one they didnt want me to married him, but they all knew i didnt give a **** what they thought. so anyway i had everything booked. and then a week before our wedding my stepmother goes to the court house and said that i was abusing my son, and got him taking away from me for a week until i went to court, i did and got my son back the day before my wedding. then they (stepmom,mom,dad,aunt,andstepdad) canceled everything behind our backs! i got a call the day before from my mom asking that there will not be a wedding! i didnt have the money to do it myself so i called friends and family and canceled everything. on march 5,2004 me and my husband were married at the court house with my mother in law, hubbys friend and the kids!!!!!! what a lovely way to start our life togetther!!!!!!
i understand ur pain and i wish u the best!!!!!!!
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