My mistake - or boyfriends?

[shenanigans87]

The background first:  We've been together just under 2 years.  We moved in together a little over a month ago.  We have had a rocky history but have justified it with the passion we have in between fights.

Recently he suggested we consider a threesome to try and spice things up (we had both always been interested in sexual experimentation).  I wasn't really in love with the idea, but figured I'd look into it a bit before I ruled it out.  I made a post on craigslist, just hoping to feel out what type of people are out there and if any seemed "normal".  A few of the replies seemed nice enough so I replied with a couple basic questions and a G-rated picture of us together.  I told my boyfriend when he got home, and he got really mad at me.

Granted, I know it was a stupid mistake on my part to send the picture.  Hell, it was a mistake to even make a post on craigslist about something that I wasn't 100% comfortable with.  But now my boyfriend is extremely pissed at me.  He has called me stupid, slutty, a piece of s#$@...  you get the idea.  I know I screwed up, but I really don't think I deserve this language.  He's also making me sleep upstairs because he doesn't want to be near me.  I'm just really crushed that lately he has found it okay to say such derogatory things to me.  This isn't the first fight where it's happened.

I love him, but cannot think of a way for him to realize how much he is hurting me short of breaking up with him.  I do not want to end this relationship even the slightest, but it is making it really hard to live with him.  Does anyone have any advice for me?

[sara......]

I agree with RockRose and mami1323, straight guys do NOT want to see another male naked and being sexual. I know there is no way my partner would want to do this.

[mami1323]

I agree with RockRose.  Most men don't wish to bring another man into the mix, it's usually another woman.  I think that is very strange.  

[RockRose]

Shenanigans,  this is the behavior of gay guys who are desperately trying to force themselves to live a straight life.  Just a heads up.  This isn't "spicy" sex, this is gay sex.  

[shenanigans87]

Real quick point - he was not interested in bringing in another female, but rather, a male.  He said he thought I'd enjoy it.  So I doubt it was because he harbors secret feelings for another person...

And I just wanted to update on the point.  He eventually asked me to come back downstairs and  sleep in the bed.  The next day was rocky but we sat down the next night to talk it out.  He explained that it was mostly cuz he was mad that I didn't consult him before sending out his picture to strangers, and that he was scared that I might have sent the picture to one of his coworkers or someone else he might know.  I told him that I really didn't like the idea of a threesome at all, and we both agreed not to mention it at all anymore.  Since then, things have been going much better again.

Thanks all for your advice.

[mami1323]

He's making you sleep upstairs?  How does he have that much power?  Tell him to sleep upstairs.  I think it's best to talk things out after a cooling off period.  I don't think bringing in another party is really going to help your relationship.  It may even break the two of you up.  Perhaps he has ulterior motives here.  

[BearHitch]

To me, bringing up that he wants a threesome is to say that he wants to have sex with someone else... not that he is an experimental person.  If he is using that kind of language when you have fights in general that warrants ending the relationship.  You are only dating, for heaven's sakes, and deserve better than a guy who will treat you as such.  Good luck.